Desire ch. 30 - We need to talk

[itztigress3]

Chapter 30 – We need to Talk…
POV: Emily / Casey (briefly)
Word Count: 5449
Warning: F/m con-sex; nothing major :)


-Emily-

Irritated was an understatement when it came to how I felt. I’d left quickly and practically ran to the office. Not that it improved anything, because invoices were mixed up and sorting them was pure hell. The ones he’d laid on my desk weren’t even ready to be entered into the system and I seriously wanted to call him and make him come in.

It really didn’t help that I constantly wondered what they were doing at the house while I was away. Zac had indicated he was sore but it wouldn’t matter if he really wanted too, and it was very clear he had enjoyed everything Casey did. I wondered if he’d leave when I got home, if he’d be interested in me after Casey went home. Would it really be a onetime thing?

I finally got done about eleven. I relocked the building as no one had come in at all but me. As I walked home thought I had a creepy feeling someone was watching me and I couldn’t shake the feeling. I went in the front door of the house.

“I’m home.” I called as I closed the door.

“Welcome back!” Casey said.

He came from the kitchen wearing an apron and to my relief he was dressed.

“Is he making you cook?”

“No. I volunteered.”

I glanced around and found he wasn’t anywhere downstairs.

“He’s up-stairs, I was trying to open the flour container and couldn’t. He came over to help and it went everywhere. Thankfully, I didn’t get floured but he did. So, he went to change.”

“Oh…”

He smiled. “Go on and get comfortable, you don’t have to go back in do you?”

“No. I’m home for the day.”

Casey was acting oddly and I wondered what the hell was up. He seemed to be smiling and happy; did he know something I didn’t? I went up-stairs and down to our bedroom door which was shut but unlocked, I found Zac standing in front of his dresser with flour all over his pants and his hair was wet. Why was his hair wet?

“Did the flour attack you again?”

“We are buying a new container for the flour. Every single time I try to open it I get floured. I even had to wash my hair because it wouldn’t come out.”

“I see. You do know you need clean pants too?”

“Yes.”

I kicked my shoes off and put my wallet and keys up.

“How was it?” he asked.

He selected a pair of pants and a t-shirt and changed really quickly.

“I should actually take those pants back off and use the paddle on you. Did you mix those invoices up on purpose?”

I saw the slight shiver that coursed through him. “Invoices?”

“They were on my desk, in the corner.”

“No…I was going to do those Monday.”

“There done already.”

I glanced around and found that he’d cleaned up some. The bed was made up, the sheet I’d tossed in the corner was gone and the chair was back where it usually sat and there were no dirty clothes in the floor either. I started to the door to go back downstairs but he beat me and blocked my path out.

“I think you and I need to talk.”

It took seconds to connect Casey’s overly happy mood to that statement, he was about to walk away from me and leave. I resisted the urge to run out of the house crying. Instead I just stood there, feeling kind of sick.

I felt him get my hand and guide me to the chair; he sat down and pulled me down into his lap. Surely this was not how he planned to tell me he was leaving? If he thought this would make it easier he was wrong. He put his arms around me and pulled me a lot closer than I had gotten on my own. He leaned forward and put his forehead against mine and I could see the chocolate brown eyes sparkling back at me. He rarely did this.

“I’m not going anywhere Emily, you can stop looking like you’re about to burst into tears.”

“I am not about to do that.” I lied.

“Say what you want, you can’t hide your tears from me Emily. I know something is wrong. You haven’t been quite yourself since I got home yesterday.”

“I’m fine.”

“I know you like I know myself. Tell me Casey wasn’t right Emily, you know that I wouldn’t have agreed to do that if you weren’t ok with it. You knew very well you could come and talk to me. You seemed OK with what was happening but when we went to bed and this morning you weren’t fine. You also hit him harder, I could tell by the sound.”

“It was a belt.” I didn’t want to tell him anything else; I didn’t want him to know how insecure I felt.

He looked at me for several moments. “Ems, I am not going to leave you for anyone else. Not Casey, not another man, not another woman. You are stuck with me for eternity.”

If he wasn’t leaving why did we need to talk? Again, I had nothing to reply so I sat there quietly.

It was almost like he finally saw the big picture. “You thought I said we needed to talk because you thought I was going to tell you I was leaving? That is not why Emily; we needed to talk because I want to know what was really wrong last night. I understand you called and I said yes, but you didn’t seem too truly like that he was here.

“I’m ok Zachary, really.”

He pulled me tighter to him and held me there. “You’re lying to me.”

It was very clear that I didn’t get to skate on this, I often prodded him to tell me and it was only fair that I do the same thing. He was patient when he wanted to be and this was going to be one of those very patient times, he’d sit here the rest of the day if that’s what it took. He tilted his head just a little and that told me he was prepared to wait for a while.

“When you told me in the kitchen that morning and then said no to me, I wasn’t going to call him. I figured if you could say no, so could I. But you had to go and let me do whatever the hell I wanted that weekend, it wasn’t that major but still you clearly wanted me to feel better about everything. I got to thinking about our lists and I realized that mine was much longer and you hadn’t really asked for much and I knew that this was something you wanted to try.”

“But the lists are just that Emily; they were never guaranteed to be done. You could have said no.”

“I know I could have but I honestly thought I was prepared for it. I knew what would happen, how, when, and where. It wasn’t like I was coming home and catching you, and I was perfectly fine until he told you to move onto the bed, until it was very clear that neither of you were going to stop. I didn’t think it would bother me as much. You said you wanted too and I couldn’t…I didn’t…There wasn’t a valid reason to say no.”

He laid his forehead against mine again.

“How you felt about it was a valid reason Emily. If you didn’t feel comfortable or ok with it, that’s a valid enough reason.”

“No, my being insecure about it wasn’t a valid reason. I guess my biggest worry was you’d realize you were gay and leave. You said you liked him before and don’t get me wrong, I am glad you enjoyed it last night and it was very obvious that you did.”

“But..?”

“He pissed me off when he pulled you down and then rolled over because it felt like he was telling me he could do it better, which hell I knew that already. I’m aware that toys aren’t real and that sex is always better when it’s not with toys. I just couldn’t shake the feeling that you’d leave. It’s why the invoices irritated me; it’s why I couldn’t get anything to fucking work right today. It’s why I don’t think I slept.”

He smiled at me. “I will always love you Emily. I’ll admit that it wasn’t something I hated. It’s not something I regret doing, but I regret that you felt so miserable sitting there because that wasn’t my intention at all when I asked you to stay.”

“I would have sat there with or without you asking. I wasn’t that miserable.”

“Yes you were. You didn’t enjoy watching it Emily.”

I giggled. “I enjoyed watching you; it was different to be able to actually see your face.”

“Is that all that was wrong? You just felt like I would leave? That I wouldn’t want to be with you anymore? There wasn’t anything else?”

“No. I was afraid you’d walk away. Logically I knew you wouldn’t, Isaac even told me you wouldn’t that yes or no you’d still love me.”

“Wait, you told Isaac?!?” His tone rose sharply.

“NO! I didn’t tell him anything he asked Wednesday and I just said there was something you wanted but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to say yes. I didn’t tell him what it was.”

“Don’t scare me like that again.”

I kind of settled into his arms and he was quite for a few moments.

“I want to say I’m sorry.” He said.

“For what?”

“Being a selfish asshole?”

“What are you talking about Zac?”

“Casey kind of made me realize that the reason I gave you for saying no to your request was a bullshit one. It was a go-to escape but the reason is bullshit and I am sure you knew that too.”

“I did.”

“Honestly, I said no for the same reason as you. I wasn’t just afraid though. I had convinced myself that you would leave, that whatever I was doing wouldn’t be good enough and you’d leave me. I really wanted to say yes, wanted to agree but it was a paralyzing fear that afterwards you’d pull away and then you’d be gone and I can’t handle that. I can’t lose you.”

I kissed him and it felt the same, felt better actually.

“You don’t have to worry about that Zachary.”

“It’s what she did Emily, you know that. She tried with me and then found someone better, someone that could do it better and please her like she wanted. I couldn’t risk that you’d feel the same way.”

I moved some of his hair out of his face; it was getting so long now.

“Honestly, I knew there was another reason and I suspected it might have something to do with Kate and what she did. I love you. I waited years on you and I don’t doubt that you and I are meant to be together. I don’t care what anyone else thinks about us. I love you and that never changes.”

“I know all of that but it doesn’t make the feeling go away.”

I adjusted some in his lap and put my arms around his neck. “There isn’t a man on this planet that can make me feel the same way you do. You knew what to do when I found those pictures, you kept saying you didn’t, but Zachary you did. You made me feel safe when my world fell apart. Craig was right, when I woke up in the hospital you were the only person I wanted to see. You were the only man I felt truly comfortable with, despite what they’d done. I knew sitting in your lap I’d be safe. No one else can do those things because you are the one I want to be with.”

“Are you trying to butter me up?”

“No. It’s the truth Zachary. Can I tell you that I won’t enjoy it or like it? No. You couldn’t tell me that either, because until last night you hadn’t even let another guy touch you in that manner. I can’t tell you how I’ll react to being with someone other than you or that isn’t making me do it.”

I could feel him fidgeting and he was thinking about something.

“I want you to have other experiences I just don’t know if I can sit there and watch. I don’t know if I can even be ok participating.”

“What exactly did you and Casey talk about today?”

“This. He asked about it this morning and then he basically made me feel like a complete asshole. You don’t need to be mad at him either, because he is right. It was wrong of me to agree to be with him without really considering that you may not be comfortable with it. I assumed you were because you called him. He pointed out this morning that you weren’t happy and then he asked if we ever talked about it, which we didn’t. You proposed, I accepted and in your case flatly denied but we didn’t sit down like this and really talk about it.”

“We probably should have.”

“We should have. I think you really scared him.”

“Me? I scared him? You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“He was fully aware that if I so much as yelped in pain that you were fully prepared to beat his ass until he couldn’t sit down. I have to admit that the way you sat with that paddle was kind of hot though.”

I giggled. “Take my word if he had hurt you, he wouldn’t be able to sit down. Speaking of, how are you feeling as you keep shifting and moving.”

“I’m a little uncomfortable but nothing major. I always expect that after your spankings.”

I smiled. “I try not to make them bad.”

“It’s fine really.”

We sat there quietly for about ten minutes before he looked at me.

“If you’re comfortable with it and you want too, I told Casey I’d let him, I wouldn’t stop either of you.”

It kind of shocked me and I sat confused for a moment. Did he just agree to my threesome request?

“Are you sure about that Zachary? You just said you didn’t think you could do that, I really don’t think Casey deserves a broken nose over that.”

“I am sure. He is fully aware that I may not be able to and he’ll understand if I tell him to stop, he’s uh witnessed a few of my tantrums when it comes to you.”

“Tantrums? That’s what you call them? I’d call them more like beat downs.”

“I’ll stick with tantrums. The original plan was he’d come on to you and then I’d tell you, but I think it might be better if you knew ahead of time. I wouldn’t want you to hurt him or feel offended when I didn’t.”

I thought about what he was saying, the way he phrased it didn’t sound like this would be a three-some deal, in fact it sounded like he gave permission for Casey to just sleep with me.

“Um, are you saying that you’re ok with Casey and I having sex while you watch us?”

“What is it with you and him and literal terms?”

“I just want to be clear.”

“That is what I meant. Again, he’s aware that I may not be able to because let’s face it I’ve never seen you kiss another guy anywhere, except your brothers and I know that’s not romantic.”

“Do you think you’d be comfortable with it? Enjoy it or not, I am not leaving you. I waited far too long and put up with far too much to walk away simply because of sex. Besides, our sex life is awesome.”

“I think knowing that you’re not leaving will make it easier. I would image had we had this conversation before now, last night would have been different for you.”

I smiled at him and kissed him, couldn’t help the trail of kissed across his jaw and to his ear, I slightly bit the earlobe.

“I could always have him bend you over my desk. That might be very fun to see.”

I felt him shiver even thought he had to be warm. “I don’t think Taylor and Isaac would appreciate that.”

“You know we should get downstairs, he was fixing lunch and I don’t think it takes forever.”

“He already knew we were going to talk, he told me we should before anything else happened. He was right, had we not talked it’s very likely he wouldn’t have gotten far.”

I kissed him again. “I’m going one place and that’s down the aisle to you. Because you’re the one I want to be with the rest of my life.”

He smiled and let me up; we both went downstairs where he was finishing up fancy grilled ham and cheese sandwiches and chips.

“What the hell did you need flour for?”  Zac asked.

“I was going to make potato cakes to go with them, but you have no instant potatoes.”

“Dude, you could have checked for that first.”

“We finished the box last week.” I said.

“I totally could have, but then I would have missed seeing your pretty little face engulfed in flour which was priceless.”

Zac just shook his head and we sat down to eat. I watched the two of them wondered what sex with someone else would be like. I couldn’t really deny that Casey was attractive. But I still wasn’t sure I could even go that far, I wondered just how much Zac told him about me, what I liked and didn’t.

“You’re not thinking of your paddles are you?” Casey asked.

I glanced at him. “Maybe, scared?”

“Maybe.”

Zac giggled. “No fears Casey, I put them up.”

I looked at him. “Your version of putting them up is moving them to your top dresser drawer, believe me if I wanted one I know where to find them. Actually, I wasn’t thinking about paddling you Casey.”

He raised his eyebrow. “Really, well if it wasn’t me then who was it?”

“That would be me. I apparently left invoices. But, if she was going to do that it would have occurred already.” Zac said.

I finished my lunch just before them and went ahead and put the dishes away, they went to the living room. When I came into the living room I realized immediately that Zac had left the center seat open and given the way he looked at me I chose that seat. He had a program on that I didn’t like but I knew they did, so I sat back. It was a quarter through the hour long program when Casey shifted positions and I felt his fingertip brush across my neck and I turned to look at him.

“I’m sure he’s told you many times, but you are a beautiful woman.”

I smiled at him. “Thank you.”

If that was his come on it was pretty weak. Yet, I couldn’t really move away because Zac was blocking me. A few moments passed before I felt his fingertips again and he was tracing invisible circles on my shoulder. I looked at Zac, only to find he was looking at me and he didn’t seem pissed off. That was good. My turning gave Casey the perfect chance and I felt his fingertips brush across my neck before his lips landed on the back of my neck. It was different but Zac seemed fine watching that. Unlike me though, Zac was taking a complete back seat as he didn’t make any effort to move forward.

“You do have to answer him at some point Emily. I mean, he’s looking at me terrified.”

“You’re truly ok with it?”

“Yes.”

Casey hadn’t really stopped placing kisses along my neck and shoulders and I couldn’t deny that was rather getting to me, it didn’t help that despite my own fears watching them was quite erotic.

“I’m ok with it.” I said.

Zac sat back against the sofa and turned the TV to another channel in which both Casey and I looked at him confused.

“Porn Zac? That is your program of choice?” Casey asked.

“I could put it on an action movie, but really what you’ll need is this.”

I felt fingertips on my neck again, felt him slide up closer. His lips against my skin were different than Zac’s, his kisses were more forceful and his lips not quite as plump or as soft as Zac’s. I laid my head forward to allow him more access and rolled to the other side as he moved around to the right side. He finally turned me around though, putting my back to Zac as he went after my neck again. I could feel his hand on my thigh, the other on my side, just at the edge of the shirt. He stayed around my neck until the soft moans escaped my lips, only then did he move his hand under the shirt and slide it up. I let him take it off.

“Blue lace, why do I get the feeling you picked this one out Zac?” Casey asked.

I heard him giggle. “Actually, she chose that one, as most she did and most are the color blue.”

“Should I then expect blue lace panties as well?” He asked.

“Yep.” Zac said.

I giggled at that, because they were not blue nor were they lace. His hands on me was different, when he pushed me back on the couch I expected to land in Zac’s lap, but instead I laid back onto the couch. Where had he gone? But then I saw him moving the coffee table out of the middle of the living room. Casey and I both turned and watched him curiously.

“Am I still going to be bossed around but by you now and not her?” Casey asked.

“Yep. I’d want my spot on the sofa.”

Casey looked down at me. “Is he always this demanding?”

“Sometimes, I guess we should move then.”

Casey got up and helped me up also. Once Zac cleared the table I laid down where he indicated, parallel to the sofa so he could see everything that went on.  Zac sat down in the center of the sofa and got comfortable. Casey glanced at him, leaned back, legs open, relaxed position. He smiled at him but then went after my neck again. I could barely hear the TV, but if I glanced that way I could see the naked people.

Having someone else over me surely did feel different. Casey was not as heavy as Zac was and his hips were already pressed into mine and I could feel him through the jeans. I wondered how much Zac told him about what I liked before I got home. Casey trailed down my chest some; he was not patient like Zac was, so I rose up a little so he could unsnap the bra, once he removed it he threw it to Zac.

He leaned down and ran his tongue over the nipple on the right side and his hand painfully twisted the left. I bite my lip and tried not to react too much, but it was obvious Zac had mentioned pain was not something I disliked. But he kept on doing that, each lick to the right side the left received a twist, sometime quite painful. Then he switched sides, so Zac could see what he was doing. I arched my back for the last two, couldn’t stop the moans that escaped that time. He seemed to spend the same amount of time on both sides but I was getting impatient. I tangled my hands into his hair and pushed lower.

“So impatient.” Casey said.

Zac giggled. “You have no idea.”

He resisted me and that just wouldn’t do, so I tangled more hair around and put more force. He yelped loudly and Zac laughed. He at least took the hint and moved his way down, although he paused at the waistband of my jeans and looked at Zac. Considering Zac wasn’t getting up and was Ok he undid the button and slowly unzipped them. I felt his lips on my abdomen, and the giggle tickled when he did make it to the fabric of my panties.

“It’s rare that Zac’s wrong.”

“I am never wrong.” Zac said.

I felt his fingers on my side, lifted up so he could slide the pants over my hips, him moving to take them off let Zac know he was wrong.

“There not blue.”

“How come I have never seen those?” Zac asked.

“They were buried in the back of the drawer.”

Casey finished pulling them off and was actually kissing my ankle. But apparently being wrong rubbed Zac the wrong way.

“I think you should trade places.” Zac said.

“Now?” Casey asked.

“Yes, now.”

He let my foot go and I sat up, before he laid down I went ahead and took his shirt off, tossing it to the couch. He then lay down, I didn’t straddle him, and instead I position myself so Zac could see what I was doing. I did have an advantage though; I had watched what worked with him the night before.

“Not fair.” Casey said.

I got moans long before he did. “Perfectly fair.”

I pulled the same nipple treatment he had and Zac giggled. Casey seemed to respond well to it though, several rather deep moans escaped into my ear. I felt his hand on my back, felt it sliding down my side and over my ass where he squeezed a few times. I had to move to get lower on him though; I moved so I was at his feet and this way I could remove the pants and underwear, which I did at the same time. I’d seen him naked before, why hesitate?

“She is defiantly impatient.” Casey said.

I was almost back to where I needed to be, was at the upper most thigh, when I heard Zac’s voice. “Turn around.”
Both of us looked at him confused, because he hadn’t specified who should turn.

“Hey, she commanded us around too.”

“You didn’t specify who was to turn around.” Casey said.

Zac looked at me. “Who else?”

“I’ll uh, need to get rid of the black panties then.” Casey said.

“Not a problem, I won’t mind doing that for you.” Zac said.

I just moved, seeing as I was about to have to do a 180 anyway, Zac hadn’t seen that what I wore was thongs, hadn’t noticed. Casey giggled until I slid my hand around the base of his penis and squeezed.

“Fuck!”

“Black thongs, I should have seen that coming.” Zac said.

I heard him moving and then felt his hands on either side of me; he intentionally dragged his fingernails down my sides which always worked for me. I lifted each knee and let him remove them and yelped when he popped me twice.

“Have you two done this?” Casey asked.

“Yes, a few times.” Zac said.

Zac threw him a pillow and when he was ready he moved me into a position for him.

“Lavender and vanilla, god I know why he infused those retreats with those two scents now.”

I could feel his fingers at first and it felt different. He didn’t spent a lot of time with fingers though he moved to tongues quickly, but then used a combination of both. It took very little to actually get him completely hard. Casey was about the same size as Zac was, so that wasn’t different to me but his taste and smell was completely different. Added, Casey was clean shaven in the whole area, which I quite liked. I knew from watching him he could rise his hips up and I put a stop to that quickly with just my hand. I vaguely heard Zac snicker some. At some point though his pace just got to be too much and I couldn’t focus on anything.

“Do you want more?” Casey asked.

I vaguely heard Zac say something, before what felt like a rather mild orgasm flowed through me.  The pop stung but didn’t really hurt.

“Do you want more?” Casey asked.

“Yes.”

“Stay put.” Casey said.

I felt him moving out from under me. I started to move but he landed a second one to the other side, again it stung but did not hurt.

“Stay. Put.” He commanded.

I stayed put; let him shimmy out from under me. I wondered exactly how Zac would feel about this part, as this was where my nerves had given up. Where the desire to get up and get rid of Casey had taken over. I heard something rip, realized it was probably a condom. I glanced to where Zac was sitting, he was still there in the same spot and he was relaxed in his posture.

I felt Casey’s hand on my hips, letting me know he was there and ready. He was the same length pretty much, but he wasn’t quite as wide as Zac was. He was being careful too, and it really felt no different except for the condom and the added cold lube. He surely did move differently as well.

-Casey-

I’d be lying if I said it didn’t feel weird to be kneeling behind my best friends fiancée, about to have sex with her while he watched. But, at the same time it was thrilling in a sense that he was watching us yet, like with her there was something in his body language that said if I hurt her, I’d regret it.

I had no idea if she would like anything I did. She had responded well to the oral sex aspect and she most defiantly had skills when it came to giving blow jobs, no wonder Zac wanted to be selfish. But entering her felt different, she felt so tight to me and I was aware that Zac’s girth exceeded my own.

“God Zac, are you sure you have a sex life?”

“I am positive.” His voice was calm and not shaky, which was good.

I had asked Zac what she liked and didn’t like, he had flatly refused to tell me saying it wouldn’t be different if I knew. He seemed fine sitting there watching us, and she was responding well as I had not even gotten started well and she was moaning rather deeply. I however had no intentions of turning her over, I was not sure I could resist kissing her and he’d been adamant about that. I stuck with slow and easy at first, staying that way for about twenty minutes until I felt her relax. When I paused, she whined.

“Why are you stopping?”

“Adjusting put your legs together for me.”

I moved mine so she could; it put both of hers between mine which would make her tighter to me. Zac smirked some but I saw the concerned look on his face when I pushed her shoulders down, forcing her chest to lie on the floor. Indeed, she felt tighter this way but she yelped loudly when I pushed in and I heard this growl that sent shivers down my spine. A quick glance said that Zac had been the one to do it.  In light of that I moved her legs out some and the second push didn’t get a yelp.

“Fucking hell.” She growled.

I had never heard a women growl before. “That was fucking hot.”

I found a steady pace that wasn’t too fast or too slow and I stuck with it. I held her down until she apparently didn’t agree and pushed up, which kind of shocked me. No woman had ever done that or had the strength too. Once she was up she tried pushing back against me and I didn’t allow that, I was getting good moans but not much beyond the occasional yelp. I was so close; I was just trying to wait on her. I felt her walls tighten around me and her back arched.

“Fuck.” She yelped.

I increased my speed until my vision burst with a kaleidoscope of colors and I felt the warmth spread through me. I held her tightly to me; despite the fact I knew there was a condom there.