Desire ch. 91 - Telling Our Secrets

[itztigress3]

Chapter 91- Telling our secrets
POV: Emily
Word Count: 3498

October 19, 2012; 1:46 am

I turned over in the bed for the hundredth time, I for the life of me couldn’t get my back to stop hurting and I couldn’t get comfortable. I was trying not to disturb Zac too much; god knows I’ve kept him up enough. I finally got up and went downstairs to the kitchen, I found Casey sitting at the table.

“What are you doing up?”

“I napped today with you and that was wrong for me, I can’t sleep now. Why are you up?”

“It feels like a vice grip around my back, I can’t get comfortable.”

I got a glass from the cabinet and got water. He’d stayed with me the last two days so they could get stuff done in the studio. Casey went back to replying to an e-mail or whatever he was doing, I was halfway done with my water when the pain crept around my side and it was not something I’d ever felt before, not even when Adam had beaten me. The glass just slipped from my hand and shattered on the floor, Casey jumped and looked at me.

“Emily?”

I gripped the counter hard and just stood there; I felt his hand on my arm. “Answer me, Emily.”

I turned my head. “I’m ok.”

“Don’t move there is glass all around your feet.”

I was a little shocked when he lifted me up and carried me a few feet and put me back down on the carpet. I mean I knew Zac could carry me now, but Casey too? I felt like a beached whale at this point. I stood there though and he cleaned up the glass and the water, he then walked me back up-stairs where I laid back down. I tried to get comfortable and found if I curled up beside Zac I was somewhat ok. It must have been an hour or so after I lay back down that the same pain crept in, a little harder this time. I really didn’t mean to dig my nails into Zac’s arm, but his yelp told me I must have. He turned toward me.

“Are you ok?”

“I don’t know.”

“Does your back still hurt?”

“Yes, but the pain is coming forward now, toward the front.”

“Do you want me to call Natalie and ask?”

“Baby it’s three in the morning.”

“Turn over.”

I shifted positions to my other side; I couldn’t breathe on my back anymore. He proceeded to rub my back and side.

“Maybe we shouldn’t have had sex earlier Ems, you said it was fine but your back has been hurting all afternoon.”

“It’s not bad, just…kind of dull and achy.”

He kept rubbing and eventually I closed my eyes and fell asleep I woke up with my back against him chest and I laid there a few minutes, I really wanted to turn over and attack but what if it caused more pain? Eventually though I couldn’t ignore the many thoughts running through my head so I just reached behind me, this was an acceptable position.

Eventually he woke up and kissed my neck. “Are you sure this is wise?”

“I’ve tried ignoring it, I can’t…”

It was a good position and pretty much the only one that was comfortable enough, which was fine by me. No screaming so Casey didn’t run in, which was good for Zac. We got up after that and showered and fixed breakfast. The last doctor’s visit, just days ago, predicted his weight at 8 pounds, but I surely felt he weighted more than that! I was fine all morning and we went to the studio about noon, the warehouse was spotless and everything was in its place, I guess my words sank in. I however sat with them because he could hear them talking, singing, and playing. It was about three in the afternoon, we were in the main studio just talking and they were working on another song, Zac must have noticed something as he opened his mouth to say something about the time my hand landed on Taylor’s arm just below his elbow and my nails dug in.

“Holy fuck!” Tay yelled.

He tried to loosen my hand but it didn’t work until the pain that had suddenly crept into my side subsided, then I let go.

“I was actually fixing to warn you. Sorry.”

“Trade places with me, shit I think she may have drawn blood.”

“Emily are you alright?” Isaac asked.

“Yeah, sorry Taylor.” He was rubbing his arm but there wasn’t any blood, so he was fine.

“Same thing as this morning?” Zac asked.

“Not as bad actually.”

He nodded and they switched spots and continued their conversation. I noted the time, and it was about an hour later that the next one came. While Taylor and Isaac were not use to my fingernails, Zac was. Taylor looked amused as my nails clamped down on his lower arm and all Zac did was look at me.

“That was an hour Ems, do you need to call the doctor?” he asked calmly.

“Did that not hurt?” Taylor asked, astonished.

“It does hurt but I know what I can handle, it’s not like Natalie does that to you a lot. I’m pretty use to the nails by now.”

I loosened my grip. “No. Natalie, Nikki, your mom and Christina all said to wait until there roughly twenty minutes apart before calling. Nikki said she had a few days where they came and went before she actually went into labor with Everett.” I replied.

“Three days to be exact, she had brief periods of pain and then her water broke so we went to the hospital.” Isaac said.

Taylor however couldn’t stop himself. “Should we be alarmed that you are use to that? I mean, really Zac, how often does she just randomly dig her nails into your arm?”

Isaac patted Taylor’s shoulder. “Taylor, there are some things that we just shouldn’t know. Why our little brother is use to his wife digging nails into his skin is probably one of those things.”

“So, you’re not the least bit worried that it’s normal to him?”

Zac glanced to me and then back to Taylor. His aversion to sex hadn’t improved when it came to everyone else but Casey and myself. So what he said shocked me.

“I like it when she does that Taylor, it’s one of the many things that I personally find as a turn on. It’s also something I didn’t know I liked until I met her.”

The three of us sat stunned for different reasons. They were for the admission and I was because he’s gotten those words out without stumbling, stuttering, or even blushing!

“You find that as a turn on?” Isaac asked calmly.

“You like it?” Taylor asked, totally stunned.

“Yes and yes. I mean the two of you talk about some rather odd likes. Isaac likes for Nikki to dress as a nurse and Tay you admitted when Natalie scratches you, that you sometimes like it.  I like it when she does that and other things that I’m not going to say.”

“Stop talking Zac. You tend to not be able to stop when you start.” I said.

They all looked at me. “I can certainly keep my own secrets. It’s not like I plan to tell them about the…” He stopped talking because I put my finger over his lips.

“You two can disregard what he just said, apparently all of it at that.”

“About the what?” They asked.

Zac finally realized he was about to say he was going to tell them about Casey and the blush came then. His entire face turned red and he couldn’t even turn and look at them.

“Let’s just say your little brother is not as vanilla or prudish as everyone assumes. Kent and the other guys from the retreat have no idea just how he is in a private setting.”

Taylor’s cheeks flushed red but Isaac just laughed.

“What is so funny?” Zac asked.

“I always knew you were strange, I guess I just assumed that also spilled over into your sex life. So, I don’t find what she said to be shocking nor do I find that you like those nails shocking.” He replied.

Zac sat quietly for a moment. “I can think of a few things that would shock you.”

“Not likely Zac.”

It was a challenge that Zac was not going to ignore. I slid down on the sofa and pulled Zac’s jacket up over my head, I about knew the exact words but I prayed he wouldn’t say them.

“I’ve had a threesome on more than one occasion, have you?”

The entire room grew very quiet; I peeked out at Taylor and Isaac between the jacket buttons. Taylor’s face was so red now I wondered if he was about to burst into flames and Isaac’s eyes were so wide I seen white all around them and pure shock on his face. I finally pulled the jacket down. The room was still very quiet five minutes later when Casey walked in and he paused at the door, looked between the four of us.

“Um…did I miss something?”

Taylor and Isaac both looked at him and I could see the dots being connected very quickly, the amount of time he’d spent with us was pretty high. They turned to Zac.

“Him?” They asked shocked.

“See, I can shock you.” Zac said.

“Oh fuck me I missed something.” Casey said.

Ok, it was probably the wrong time but the way he said that after what Zac had just told them struck me as funny and I tried not to laugh, but I couldn’t stop it. When I finally managed to stop laughing hysterically, I found them looking at me confused.

Casey closed the door and sat down on the other side of Zac, which didn’t help Taylor or Isaac who still looked slightly stunned. They just didn’t know Zac being in the middle was pretty common for us.

“Are you ok?” Zac asked.

“So…Casey…what you missed was I apparently am having some contractions very far apart and during one I grabbed Taylor’s arm, so he and Zac switched places. When I got Zac’s arm, and honey you are bleeding some, Taylor asked why he didn’t react and Zac told him he liked it…”

“Wow, impressive Zac. Did he blush?” Casey asked.

“No, but Taylor did. Oh it gets better. Right before you walked in, Ike said it didn’t shock him so Zac blurted out that he’d had a threesome before on many occasions and five minutes later you walked in. Well, you know what happened after that. So, your fuck me comment just struck me as hysterically funny.”

Casey looked at me a moment before he looked at the other two, seeing their expressions were still shock and Taylor’s face was so red he sat back on the sofa. I could see his hand on the waist band of Zac’s pants, but they couldn’t. I sat up and adjusted myself to sit on the edge; leaned back was hurting my back some.

“So, Isaac are you shocked?” I asked.

“Um…yes and no. I mean, I kind of thought maybe the three of you had something along those lines. But, honestly I figured it was once and I thought it might have been a long fucking time ago.”

“No, it wasn’t that long ago really.”

Taylor tried to speak but all I heard was baby, nothing else was audible or English. I looked at him and smiled. “Don’t worry Taylor, we are very careful and we are all positive that it is Zac’s son. In fact, when I got pregnant Casey wasn’t with us. It’s why we chose Casey actually we both trusted him and we knew that he wouldn’t hurt either of us and he wouldn’t tell the public. We are always careful about it and when I stopped taking the birth control we discussed it and we made sure to take precautions. Besides, considering my internal organs have felt like a drum set the last two months I am more than certain he’s Zac’s.”

I wondered why both Zac and Casey looked at me stunned and Zac laid his hand on my leg and I looked at him, his face was bright red and it was spreading down his neck. Casey’s face had paled actually and when I looked at the other two Isaac had redness on his face which was rare and poor Taylor. It took me several minutes to realize why they were so shocked; I had said Casey wouldn’t hurt either of us, implying he’d also been with Zac. I couldn’t backtrack now.

Casey hand stayed on Zac’s back and he kept very quiet, which was odd for him. The entire room remained quiet for ten minutes; both Taylor and Zac seemed to lose some of the redness.

“So….it’s safe to assume Zac’s confession of a threesome was definitely with Casey?” Isaac asked and the three of us nodded.

Taylor was struggling with something. “But you said he wouldn’t hurt either of you…does that mean…I don’t….fuck! I know Casey is bi-sexual.”

Isaac looked at him stunned. “Are you just glutton for punishment today Taylor?”

“I think he is. Tay you want to know if Zac and I have done things together because you know I’m good either way.” Casey asked.

“I should really say no, but yes that’s what I want to know.”

I kept my mouth sealed, I was not answering that questions. Zac’s hand had tightened on my leg and he looked like he was about ready to faint but he finally looked at Taylor.

“Yes Taylor Casey and I have done thing together as well, it’s not something I am ashamed to admit to either.”

“Were you with Casey while you were married to Kate?”

“No, I was only with Emily when I was married to her.”

“So you cheated on Emily with Casey?”

“Shut up Taylor!” Isaac exclaimed.

“No Tay, I didn’t cheat on Emily with Casey.”

For a moment they were confused but then Isaac looked at me like he’d finally understood.

“Your question right before his birthday that year, you wanted to say no…You’ve known about them the whole time?” Isaac asked.

“I have been there every time, either watching or participating somehow. Zac was the only man I’ve been with willingly and at the time I wanted to associate positive things to get over what they did in February. He had said he wanted to experience it, but hadn’t really said who and didn’t trust anyone at the time. Casey mentioned it at the retreat I was at that he kind of had a crush on Zac and he asked me once if Zac had ever expressed a notion for that. After he thought about it I invited him out for Zac’s birthday. You spoke to me before I called.”

“Just never ask her to spank you! Holy fucking hell she hits hard.” Casey quipped. I swear Zac tried to hide!

“Why would you even ask that?” Isaac asked.

“Well I figured if…” Zac slapped a hand over his mouth to stop him.

“She mentioned it and he asked her too, he didn’t think she could hit that hard.” Zac said.

Taylor and Isaac exchanged looks. “Why not let Casey tell us that?”  Ike asked.

“He doesn’t need to say anything else.” Zac stated.

Taylor looked at me with his I just got it look. “Let me guess, Zac likes to be spanked as well?”

I didn’t even get a word before his other hand was over my mouth. “You don’t need an answer to that.” Zac said.

“That means Yes, Taylor.” Ike said.

I was ok for a moment but the creeping pain was returning and not wanting to bite him I moved his hand and clamped down on his arm instead.

“So, you definitely have shocked me.” Ike said.

“So, the three of you have done things together and in pairs while the other one is there. I would not have expected that.” Taylor said.

Casey yelped in pain and I seen that Zac had gotten his thigh, I let his arm go when the pain subsided some.

“Yes, Taylor. That is right.”

“Zac?” Ike asked.

“I am going to go stop the bleeding and those nails are being cut tonight.” He got up and walked out; there was actual blood on his arm.

“Casey, are you ok?” I asked.

“Yes. I just came to see how close to being done everyone was and I didn’t expect this conversation.”

“It’s Taylor’s fault!”

“Mine?! How the hell?” He asked.

“You asked! Then Isaac challenged! Really guys I tried to tell you all for years that he’s not that innocent little child anymore. I mean Casey thought he was a nun who turned monk after Kate; you two think he’s 12. He hasn’t been innocent or monk like in a long time.”

“Since about March of 2008 I’d say.” Isaac said.

“I did not corrupt him!” I stated.

“Sure you did! You screamed for him and created some god complex about it.” Casey said.

I looked at him, not really caring who was there. “Just because he makes you scream too, doesn’t mean I created that.”

Taylor gagged, Ike just stared and when Zac came back in he looked a little confused.

“I’m not even asking.”

He sat down again and looked at them; I could tell he was concerned with how they would take it.

“Are you guys done for the day?” I asked.

“I am for sure; I wouldn’t be able to write anything remotely appropriate.” Taylor said.

I looked at Zac and waited and when it was clear he wouldn’t be asking what he wanted I looked at them.

“So, I know Zac wants to ask and he’s just afraid of the answer but you two are alright with this right? I mean with him and Casey.”

They were both quite for a few minutes and Ike spoke first. “I’ve thought about it before myself, but just never brave enough to take that step and I guess I wasn’t really wanting too. I don’t see either of them any differently.  Zac is still my crazy little brother and Casey is still his crazy little friend. As long as you’re being careful and you’re not intentionally hurting each other then I am fine with it. I also won’t tell anyone.”

Zac looked at Taylor and they were a little closer to one another. Taylor smiled though and I could see Zac relax.

“I’m with Ike. You’re still my little brother and nothing changes that. What you do in your private life is your business. I’ve also considered it but Natalie would not go for that. I’m a little concerned that this has been going on for a while but you know the three of you are happy and if this arrangement works then I’m ok with it.”

Zac smiled at them. “It’s not like being bi-sexual is bad really and Casey’s really the only person that I could see myself with.”

“Take my word for it though; Zac is much more into Emily than he is me. So, you don’t have to worry about that.”

They smiled.

“So, Guess I kind of fucked up the rest of the day. Off the weekend and back 8 am Monday?” Zac asked.

“Yep, well, unless Emily goes into labor.” Taylor said.

“Fat change of that, the doctor is certain I’ll be late. Apparently, every child my mother had was born at 42 weeks.”

Everyone giggled but we all got up to leave. Getting jackets, wallets, keys and whatever else we had to get and then Isaac locked up. The brief moments of pain were not bad and after those few they stopped again. We stopped for dinner going home and arrived home at 6, I was glad the last two weeks had given me no sickness. Once home I packed a bag and sat it by the door for both myself and him. Those contained everything we would need, although I wasn’t expecting to need them until November.

The car seat was animal themed as well and it matches the stroller and play pen we had also.

Zac, Casey, and I had gone shopping the first weekend of October and purchased everything else we would need for him. We’d also put everything up and made sure we were ready for him. I knew he was as nervous as I was, first time parents but Maddi had told me something that she said was from my mother and considering the events at the time, I couldn’t deny those words. They had alleviated every concern I had on whether I could be the type of mother I wanted. I was just worried about the delivery now!