Infinity Chapter 18 - Visiting Daddy...

[itztigress3]

Chapter 18 – Visiting Daddy…
POV:  Zac / Emily
Word count: 3811


June 27, 2013

  Alexander had felt much better by Monday, so we drove out to Georgia and he did excellent on the drive.  We’d been here a day already and she was scheduled to be at the jail at 2, after getting up she got dressed and when she came into the kitchen with the rest of us both Jason and I looked confused. There wasn’t a part of her body I could see but her face and hands and I looked at Jason who didn’t look pleased that she’d chosen to cover up everything.

“Emily, it’s going to be in the 90’s today. You’re going to have a heat stroke in that.”

“I’ll be fine.”

She fixed a bowl of corn flakes and sat down, Alexander had already eaten his morning bottle and was quietly sitting in my lap, he still didn’t show interest in food, and I was beginning to think something might be wrong but the doctor assured us he was healthy. We’d tried every brand of baby food available and every flavor and he wanted nothing to do with any of them.

“Emily, I know you don’t want him to see you but Jason is right. It’s going to be hot as hell and you will get too hot.”

“So you’d prefer I show some rapist what he wants?”

“No. Wear something more comfortable and just take my long sleeve shirt and when you go back you can put it on.”

She finished her cereal before she went to change, coming back in a sleeveless purple shirt and black pants; she had my black button up with her.

“Better?”

“Yes.”

We gave Jason his schedule and after making sure he was fine we left and headed to Atlanta, she was quiet on the drive to the prison and through the whole checking in process as well. She seemed nervous as hell but the Warden was nice.

“Good evening Mrs. Hanson, Mr. Hanson.”

We both greeted him and I shook his hand.

“Mr. Daniels will not be allowed to touch you at all and we’re obligated to have a female officer in the room with you. In addition I spoke with the lawyers and Mr. Hanson can be in the viewing room but he cannot go into the actual room.”

We both agreed and followed him down long halls where we were scanned for various metals, phones, wallets, keys and all the good stuff was also put in little tubs the only thing she kept was a yellow envelope. I walked into the viewing room before she did, she was hesitating and I knew it. I could see David sitting there confused, he hadn’t really changed since the last time I saw him. He had better color and his hair wasn’t quite as long as it was before. The orange jumpsuit looked good on him, I turned when the door opened and she came in. She’d put my shirt on and buttoned it up all the way to the neck but even then I could still see the slight shakes. I pulled her close to me and gave her a tight hug.

“I’m right here Emily, they’re not going to let him touch you. Just remember, he’s here because he did bad things to not just you but others as well.”

She nodded and I felt her hands tighten around me for a few minutes and then she moved toward the door. I moved to where I would be able to see her clearly.

-Emily-

I could smell Zac’s scent all over the shirt, I was glad he’d suggested this and I was sure it was to help me stay calm. I hadn’t looked through the glass, and as the Warden opened the door I wanted to turn and run just like I had before. But, I could see Alexander’s smile and after a quick glance to Zac I walked into the room. He couldn’t hide the surprise look; he didn’t expect to see me. It took a moment to look at him, but what I saw wasn’t much different than what I was use too. The same cold grey eyes, the same stern face and the biggest difference were the jumpsuit, handcuffs, and the wheelchair. The door sounded like it slammed shut and I took a deep breath, letting Zac’s scent overpower the antiseptic smell. I then moved to the chair and sat down.

“I really didn’t think you’d ever come see me. It’s a pleasant surprise. Did you bring my grandson?”

I got the picture out of the envelope, a photo Maddi had taken a long time ago. I propped it up in front of me and he stared for several minutes.

“That is you…”

“Yes. I was about 8 months pregnant at the time. But you recognize the other person in the picture right?”

“Isabella. But, that’s not showing me my grandson Emily.”

I put that one up and laid the photos upside down on the table, out of his reach and he looked irritated.

“Seriously Emily? You want to play games now?”

I inhaled deeply again, so much I wanted to say.

“I would have thought by now you would have left that jackass you married. I mean really, you know he’s sleeping with everything and everyone.  Yet, you show up in his shirt?”

I remained quiet, he hated silence and I knew that very well. He was quiet as well for several moments.

“Well? Are you going to say anything else? Apologize maybe for putting me here? Apologize for trying to kill me; you had no business picking
up a gun. What do you have to say for yourself Emily? Costing your brothers their parents, costing your nephews their grandfather, what do you have to say?”

I moved my eyes to his and slide the top picture down some and turned it over, very good picture of me standing at the gun range, much more powerful gun in my hands.

“I knew how to handle the gun David. My husband taught me when Adam broke in and shot me twice. I was well aware of how to handle the gun.”

He looked down at the picture; I saw the deep frown marks because Zac was standing behind me, hands around my waist.
I moved that one to the right and slid the next one down, flipped it over, another picture of Zac and I, taken when we went overseas in 2011, world tour. We were standing in front of the Eiffel tower and his arms were around me. I moved that one to the right and slid the next one down and flipped it over. It was taken in Europe as well but on one of those romantic boat rides through Italy. Again, his arms were around me.

There were four left, ones I kept there for the time being. I looked at him and I could see the rage and anger all over his face, these weren’t what he wanted to see.

“There is a theme here, beside the fact that my husband has his arms around me, in every single picture I am happy. Truly happy because the person with me is someone who loves me, cares for me, and would do anything in the world for me. What you wanted for me was to be locked in some god forsaken hell hole of a house with a man who doesn’t care about me, could care a less if I was happy or not. All Adam wanted was a sex slave and someone to keep his house clean and take care of his kids for him.”

“He would have provided far better.”

“Really? He was going to take me to Paris? Italy? Australia? South America? Japan? He was really planning all of that for me? He couldn’t afford that David.”

“He could have made you happy Emily.”

“No. He couldn’t. You don’t seem to understand it David. I did not like Adam, I hated him. I would have never had his children. I would have killed myself before that happened.”

“And these pictures prove what?”

“That the person I am happy with is Zachary. My husband. Your opinion means nothing to me.”

He looked at the other four pictures laying upside down, and I separated them and turned one over. The picture was of me and Zac in the hospital, I hadn’t had Alexander yet, but we were close. He had my hand and was kissing my forehead, Casey had taken the picture.

“I want to make this clear David, you may have provided for me as a child, raised me until I was 16, you taught me right from wrong and that every action has a consequence. You told me I killed my mother, when in reality you did that. I did not take my brother’s mother away from them; you did when you decided she had to die simply because I was female. You had choices; she was willing to give me up. Them losing their mother was your fault.”

I paused a moment, composed myself again.

“I did not cost them a father either, because I admitted to the police that I was the one that shot you. I admitted that at that moment, I didn’t care where the bullet landed. I had no defined location that I wanted to shot; I just wanted to stop you anyway I could. I didn’t care David. You need to fully understand that because at that moment, you were nothing to me but an obstacle that was trying to kill me.”
I let that sink into him for several moments; I knew when to pause and when to stop.

“At least I know what you feel like.”

In my head I giggled some, because really that’s the best come back he had? He wanted to play dirty and that was his sole purpose for bringing that up. He wanted to hurt me again.

“Well, I can’t deny that you raped me twice. I was there, there are witnesses. But really David, do you want me to say anything about that?”

“Like how much you enjoyed it?”

I laughed and it caught him and the guard both by surprise, I was sure even Zac was confused.

“That’s really funny. I was unconscious the first time you raped me, as I was out before you even made it in. Sure, I was aware that it had happened when I came too.”

He smiled at that and I was positive the reason was he thought it hurt like hell or something.

“I wouldn’t smile David; it wasn’t because I was in immense pain. I knew what you were going to do the moment you put my hand on you. It didn’t matter what I done you would have found a way. So, don’t think you did anything spectacular.”

“You were fully awake the second time.”

Again, I had to giggle. “I was and I mean I knew what you were doing and I knew that at that moment my emotions over what was happening were off the Richter scale. But you and Adam were so focused on your own sick pleasure you never paid attention to me. I wasn’t looking at you David; I was looking at my husband knowing that if he could have found a way out of that cage he would have killed you with his bare hands. I was lost in the memories of him and me, because what you were doing didn’t hurt me, despite what you think the actual punches to my abdomen and sides hurt much more than the sex.”

He seemed confused at that, but it was the truth. Sure, it had hurt some but it wasn’t like with Adam or Gary those times, most of the pain came from who did it, not what he did.

“Fact is David I’ve had sex that was much rougher than that with the man you had caged. You act like it was you that caused the pain but it wasn’t, it was the simple fact that in that moment I thought of you as my father. Which made the act disgusting and wrong and it took months to get over that. But, I know my father.”

I turned the one in the middle over, Ace was holding Alexander but you couldn’t see Alexander’s face because he was covered with the blankets, we had to retake after Zac noticed.

“You have two legitimate grandsons that George and Joshua have. But, they’ll never call you grandpa or granddad, or papa. Sheppard already calls his mother’s father papa and grandpa is my father.”

I turned the next picture of, 2 smaller picture of Ace, one with Sheppard and one with William.

“He is NOT their grandfather!”

“He’s the only one they know because Ace stepped up into that place, because he is there and doesn’t hurt them. I am so proud of my brothers, because Sheppard pitched a complete and total conniption fit when we did photos and not once did George raise his voice, not once did he lay a hand on him. You would have just beaten him until he shut up.”

He was mad about it.

“This is all your fucking fault, had you never fucking been born.”

I laughed again. “You know I said the same thing. If I wasn’t born it would be different, if I wasn’t a girl it would be different. But you know something; eventually Mom would have had a girl. You run the risk every time she gets pregnant. You knew it was bound to happen. It’s not my fault that Ace did what you couldn’t, gave her the daughter she wanted. Your fault. Place the blame where it belongs, where it has all along.”

I laid my finger on the fourth and last picture as he seethed.

“You keep asking how I am, how I am doing, what I’ve been doing with my life, if I was still with Zac and really you can see right here all the answers you need.”

“I don’t care Emily; I just want to see my grandson.”

I turned the last picture over but this was not what he’d want to see either, it was just Zac and I taken by Maddi.

“He is not your grandson. He is no part of you and therefore you don’t deserve to see him. He is my son and I will be saying that you’ll never see pictures of him. In fact, the guards gave me all the ones Marcus tried to mail to you, all the ones they clipped from People and tried, and the few they found online. Your mail is being watched David, you know that.”

“You stupid bitch.”

I gathered the ones on the table and put them up and then I got up and leaned over some.

“I was sent with a message for you from myself and my brothers; we don’t ever want to see you again. We don’t want to hear from you. George and Joshua said to enjoy the pictures you have of Sheppard and William, because you will get no more. It was well played David, lying to their uncles and getting them to lie to Amanda. You cost me one friendship but that’s fine. I am happy, I am loved, I have a great husband who’s a great father. I don’t need you. They don’t need you. This is your fault David. I might be responsible for taking away your ability to walk but you are responsible for the lost of your children. Your actions have lead to this.”

I picked up the envelope and walked to the door.

“Your mother was worthless just like you.”

I turned and looked at him. “My mother did what she had to do because she came across a predator like you. Someone who prayed on her vulnerabilities, someone who used her and thought he could change her, someone who tried to suppress her to being some mindless robot that follows orders. My mother was a strong woman; she was determined and loved everyone.  My brother’s didn’t lie to me about how she was, you did. She was only worthless to you, but to everyone else in the world she was irreplaceable. Enjoy the remainder of your life David; you will not see me again unless by some miracle you get a magazine. You won’t see Alexander unless by some miracle you get a magazine. Enjoy whatever memories you have from those two times because believe me Zac’s done a hell of a lot more to make me forget them than you did to create them.”

I then walked through the door despite hearing him screaming my name and Zac looked impressed.

“Throw me under the bus, I didn’t mind.”

“I knew you wouldn’t.”

“I thought you brought a picture of Alexander with us.”

“I did and when I went to change clothes this morning I realized that he didn’t deserve to see him. He doesn’t have a reason to and he doesn’t need to see him. I took the picture out and left it on the bed.”

He smiled and we both looked in. He was still screaming my name, but we couldn’t hear him. A guard came in and removed him and he was beyond pissed off but it felt good to make him realize I was ok and I didn’t need him.

We followed the warden back out and he assured us he’d never let pictures slip, the ones that had been sent were given to us and we took them when we left. On the way home we stopped for a late lunch, I had called and Alexander was fine but we had to stop somewhere for diapers, he didn’t have but two there and that wouldn’t do. We were in the store and Zac was comparing the prices on the sizes here, they were different.

“Emily? Zachary?” She asked.

Zac had been bent over, a view I was quite enjoying, but when he heard his name he rose up and snapped his head around to her.

“What do you want?”

She took a step back and I couldn’t quite blame her either because even I detected the trace amounts of anger in his tone.

“I was passing by and it looked like you.”

That didn’t help given he’d been bent over staring at a price.

“You should have just kept walking; I don’t have anything to say to you.”

“She gave you the letter right?”

“Yes. She also told you that it was likely I wouldn’t read it and answering was a no. She didn’t lie. I don’t need to read your letter Kathryn. It
doesn’t matter anymore, I’ve moved on.”

“I just…”

“Save it Kate. I gave you a chance then to explain and you chose not too and you chose to make things worse. We are over and we’ve moved on.”

She sighed heavily but turned and took a few steps. “You should be careful Emily; if he will cheat on me nothing is stopping him from doing that to you. Didn’t even tell me when I told him he could.”

She then walked off the aisle and I watched her until she was clear.

“What a bitch. So, did you find the best deal?”

I turned and he looked quite stunned and very quiet. I walked to him.

“Hey, don’t worry about it baby, I’m not going anywhere.”

I kissed him and he finally looked at me. “I uh..yeah.”

He got the box and we headed to the front, checked out and returned to Jason’s. Alexander was sitting in the floor when we came in playing with various blocks and when Zac passed he yelled out Dada, Zac dropped the box and diverted back.

“You know he gets this weird look when he hears that.” Jason said.

“The elation look, he’s been babbling and everyone says mama and dada, I guess dada stuck.”

“Give him time Emmy, he’ll say mama soon.”

“Now, if I can just get him to eat.”

“You know one of my friends has a baby and she breast fed too. She said her baby wouldn’t eat baby food, even though it was clear he wanted food. He would stalk them when they ate. She started using pureed foods. Like, she got this bullet thing for babies and it purees the food. Obviously you’d cook some foods first and then puree them. Her daughter ate fine then.”

“You know we haven’t tried that. Maddi uses one of those I think. But, Riley was stalking when she was very young. The doctor insists that Alexander is fine.”

I heard him laugh in the living room and we went to the kitchen to prep dinner items, even with a late lunch we wouldn’t pass up dinner. We were enjoying things quite well, Zac called out that he would be back, he was taking the box to the bedroom and I heard Alexander whine some and I was going to get him but he was sitting at the foyer.

“Zac, did you move him from the living room?”

“No. He was on the pallet when I walked out, why?”

He came out and looked at him sitting there.

“How did he get there?”

“I don’t know.”

I picked him up and took him back to the living room, not really thinking about it much. He’s been moving more and up on his hands and knees, but he’d never moved just rocked. On a hunch once he was there I looked up.

“Say something Zac.”

“Like that? Just some random words like gibberish.”

Alexander turned and I watched stunned as he moved and crawled toward the hallway, Zac peeked around confused and saw him also.

“Is he…did he just…?”

“Crawl, yeah. He just crawled across the floor.”

Zac picked him up and then groaned.

“What?”

“We don’t have baby gates, but guess we’ll be picking up a few for the stairs and the basement door and the front door and the porch and the office…”

I giggled. “Yes, we will be.”

I helped Jason finish cooking while Zac kept him in the living room. We decided not to tell the others just yet, sure Taylor was excited for that milestone but it just didn’t have the same impact to call as it would to see him in person.

We went to bed pretty early, Alexander was asleep between us in his sleeper but it was Zac’s phone that woke me up at 2, it woke him up too and the same thing he’d done months before. He left the room and came back after several moments; I didn’t say anything but I was certain that he wouldn’t cheat on me. He had no reason too.