Infinity Chapter 39 - Boom

[itztigress3]

Chapter 39 – Boom
POV:  Emily
Word count:  4484

October 13, 2013; Chicago, IL

  I had been up quite early with Alexander, Maddi was up in the office with Riley where I took him as well, and it was good for him to have someone his own age to play with.

“I can’t believe he’s getting so big.”

“No kidding, I can’t believe he’s almost one.”

“So, you want to tell me what’s going on? I’ve got this weird vibe and Max said he wasn’t going to tell me shit so I shouldn’t ask.”

“Max is the only one that really knows, but I can’t even say anything. We both are respecting Zac’s wish on that.”

“Is he really ok? He seemed miserable last night.”

“He was miserable, even though he loves performing he just hurt.”

“Max did say he was assaulted, how badly did the guy hit him?”

“Pretty badly, he’s still recovering.”

“So, you didn’t walk yesterday are you today?”

“I don’t know, it might be safer if I didn’t.”

She looked at me. “Safer?”

I leaned back into the corner and shook my head. “Do you always do that?”

“I’m your friend Emily and I can tell there is something wrong, I heard him wake up Emily, I’ve never known Zac to have nightmares. He’s not
acting like Zac and even during the walk yesterday he like glued himself to Taylor.”

“I told Taylor to stay with him.”

“You told him too? What is going on?”

I hadn’t wanted to tell her because really Zac had done the same shit she pulled before but at the same time she was perceptive and picking up on little things. But, Zac didn’t want anyone else to know.

“In a nutshell there is a man watching us but he’s not threatened anyone but Alexander and I. He’s used us to get to Zac basically.”

“Is that why you’re carrying Zac’s phone?”

“Yep. I told the son of a bitch last week after he broke into the room that he’d gone too far and Zac was hereby cut off. He’s asked a few times if
Zac had his phone and I’ve taken a selfie and sent it back with nope. I played the same stupid games with Adam and David, it taught me one thing he wants Zac but he won’t really do anything to cause him to pull away. Adam threatened, but never did anything.”

“Well, Mark didn’t do a lot of threats before he took me. It wasn’t until I realized Riley was alive and not dead that I wanted to get away.”

“Yeah, Max said he messed up because he ticked off Mama Bear, we’ll take them inside just because it is safer inside the building but as for the walk I don’t know.”

She smiled. “But your showing him fear Emily, you’re keeping yourself confined. Protect Alexander for sure, but Max, Casey, Robert, and all of them will be there to watch them.”

“I’ll think about it.”

We went down to feed the little ones, now that they were both fully awake and starving. Riley really wasn’t nursing much anymore, sometime but Alexander still seemed content. Although we had introduced some meats now, so he got turkey and then nursed a bit. The others got up and came down about ten, Zac was the first of them up and was already done with breakfast and had the two babies in the lounge playing with them. It was one thing I noticed, he didn’t care if they hit a sore spot. We went inside about 11, set up and sound checks, preparing for the walk and other stuff. The babies got free run of the fan area with walking toys and just other stuff, ones we’d gather before anyone came in. Maddi got some pictures of them playing, so hard to believe he was going to be one in a few weeks. I watched from the side as Velma barked orders and got stuff done, being a side ruler was great and about 2 I went to the bus and got the holster and gun, I decided I would walk. I concealed it the best I could and when I walked into the lobby Zac shook his head.

“Stay here.”

“Not happening, Max, Robert, and Casey are staying with the little ones, who are both still asleep anyway.”

He looked at me harder than he ever had before and shook his head; I gave him a hug, letting him know full well that I wasn’t afraid because I had protection.

“Consider me your bodyguard.”

“Looks like she’s walking Zac, we don’t have time to debate.” Ike said.

We went out and sure enough I glued myself to Zac, I was positive Ian was here as he had sent photos from yesterday’s walk to Zac’s phone, knowing full well I had it. We hadn’t even been outside for the full start of the walk when it went off.

Brave of you. Direct line of fire…

200 witnesses, not a smart idea Ian…

I put the phone up, intentionally flashing the handle and I know several looked but I needed people to know I wasn’t afraid, that included our crew members. Maddi took pictures of fans, band, and both. When we stopped for the half-way point she seemed a little off, but kept taking pictures anyway. I could see the crowd and it really didn’t take me long to find him, standing slightly to the right of the group, I raised my own phone and snapped a picture. I had viewed Maddi’s from Saturday and Ian was much closer to them than he was today. We continued after Taylor’s speech and ended back at the arena where I stepped inside the door and waited, Maddi came with me.

“You have a gun?”

“Uh, yeah. I’ve been carrying it since Thursday Mads.”

“I’ve never seen it!” She exclaimed.

“I keep it concealed, but I had it with me yesterday too and anytime I am off the bus. The only other person that brought one was Kurt, he said with his sleeping quarter’s right at the door he wanted to be safe. I didn’t need it until Thursday.”

“Then the guy watching is a little more serious?”

“Let’s say that I won’t hesitate to shot him if he comes after me or Alexander or Zac.”

“Seems Max was right…this man woke up a sleeping mama bear whose not playing around.”

The boys came in and Taylor glared at me. “You do have a permit for that gun right?”

“Signed, sealed and in my back pocket. Now, can we move past that?”

“Zac, did you know?” Ike asked.

He had paused and I looked at him, he knew exactly why I was carrying it. “I did.”

“For god’s sake why? Fans asked me why you were carrying a gun! What the hell has gotten into you? Do you have any idea how some people feel about guns?” Taylor asked.

“Not to mention the younger people here who may freak out.” Ike said.

I saw the moment of just anger that pasted over Zac’s face. “She’s carrying a gun because the fucker that attacked me threatened to shot Alexander in front of her while you were at the zoo. He threatened to kill them both while we were in L.A. I for one don’t really give a shit what any of those fans think; if he comes after her or Alexander I’d much rather she fucking kill him than end up dead.”

The echoing footsteps as he left the lobby were loud and the three of them stood there a bit confused.

“Is that why…you could have…” Taylor stumbled over his words, rare for him.

“Yeah, it’s why I had you close the curtains. You both should know by now that I don’t carry unless I feel I need too. I’m sorry but the image of Alexander being shot in front of me was more than I could handle. If this bastard thinks that I’m going to just stand by while he continues to hurt Zac and use me then I’m sorry. I’ll be carrying it until I can find some police officer that will take us seriously.”

I then turned and walked away, going to find Zac who was waiting just down the hallway and I got his hand and he just followed me to the bus without questions and even up to the office where it was quiet and private.

“You made this room sound proof for many reasons, didn’t you?”

“I did. So, you want to explain why there questions pissed you off? I mean really I can handle their questions and you know that.”

“They shouldn’t question you, they know you.”

I sat down and he sat beside me. “But they don’t know the circumstances Zac and you can’t expect them to understand my choices when all they know is some guy broke in and hurt you.”

“We told them it was Ian.”

“Yes, but Zac there is a lot of the story they don’t know.”

“Like they’d understand Emily, big bad Zac shot Adam to save your life but I can’t stop one man from raping me? I had the choice months ago to stop it.”

“Yes, you did but really you thought it was a fan, some person who was just obsessed. Really, you all have them and I know there are people out there that have all kinds of wild fantasies about you. Natalie and Nikki are aware of it too, Nikki’s read some stuff on the internet herself. But, you didn’t expect him to be this way.”

“Why not? Obsessed fans don’t send me pictures of my wife and son. I know they exist but this never felt right. As soon as the messages stopped it was private e-mails that fans didn’t have. If I had told you months ago then we could have stopped this. I wouldn’t have to worry about taking my son outside the bus, wouldn’t have to worry about seeing you die because he wants me. Two more shows and you haven’t said anything about whether he sent a message.”

“I talked to him Thursday Zac, point blank told him he crossed a line and that you wouldn’t have access to your phone, e-mails, nothing.”

“Why would you do that?”

I pushed the hair from the side of his face, tucking the stray strands behind his ear, repeated it a few times and knew it was calming him down some.

“I did it because I know how it feels and I was trying my best to keep you from sinking too far down. You didn’t cause any of this, it doesn’t matter that you didn’t fight back after that, you think I would have? If you think I would have done anything but comply had it been me, then you’re wrong.”

“You don’t blame me at all, for either event?”

“No. Because I know it’s not your fault, you thought it was me and followed, he figured out a way to get you away from us. Once there he used what he had at his disposal which was the threat to your career when he felt that just wouldn’t get you where he wanted he went after the two things you can’t live without. You can have another career but the way you talk, you can’t live with me and Alexander.” 

“I couldn’t.”

“Second time he didn’t bother with the career aspect because he knows what your vice is Zac. It’s how David got you there.”

“He figured that out as well.”

“Ian isn’t your normal obsessed fan obviously. But, once we are home we will call Detective Walker and have her come over and review everything. You have the police report and we have saved everything, so we can see what we can do legally.”

He laid his head over on my shoulder. “When did you stop blaming yourself?”

“When you wouldn’t stop telling me it wasn’t my fault. It’s not your fault either. If you had kept fighting him then he would have hurt you more.”

“I couldn’t image this being worse.”

I kissed the top of his head. “He did try to warm you up Zac, he may not have done a great job but he tried. He didn’t have too. Likewise, he didn’t have to use any kind of lube either. That would have been worse.”

He was quiet for several minutes. “I don’t know that I’d ever want anyone else to touch me, even Casey. I just…”

I pulled him to me kind of tight. “Well, Casey’s kind of with someone, although I’m not sure that Robert would say no. You don’t have to worry about that though, because I can do that too if that’s what you want.”

A quick glanced showed his checks to be flushed some and I giggled.

“I’d say I’d take advantage of this quite time but I know it won’t last long enough.”

“Well, I’m not sure I can move that well.”

“It’s ok Zac, it’s not your fault and we’ll be safe. But you have a sound check to get too.”

“My ass doesn’t want to do that.”

I giggled. “I know, but you have too and to think there are days before the next show, so you’ll have some extra time to recoup.”

“Do you think I should tell them?”

I moved some more of his hair back, smoothing it back and he kind of purred a bit for me. “I think you should at least tell Taylor and Isaac. Baby there your brothers and they’re not going to blame you for what happen. It would help them understand how your feeling and why your reacting this way. Especially with the nightmares starting because Taylor gave me very weird looks when I moved down.”

“I’ll uh..pull them aside tonight then.”

He looked at me and I took the prime chance to kiss him and he smiled. “Come on.”

We returned inside and while both Taylor and Isaac were waiting by the door Zac assured them he’d explain that night. They went to do sound check and I found Maddi with the Riley who was crying.

“Everything ok?”

“She fell, bumped her head and nothing major.”

“Alexander’s done that a few times, where is he?”

“Casey took him to shower and change, apparently when Robert changed him last he didn’t quite get the diaper on right and it was bad.”

“I’ll go check on them then, there going to need Casey anyway.”

I went to the showers and when he’d said it was bad he wasn’t kidding but Alexander was being a complete brat with Casey, he didn’t even have all the clothes off yet and Alexander was screaming.

“They need you and I’ll take care of him.”

“Thank god!”

I laughed and he left, he had a clean suit there and a clean diaper and everything he needed.

“Alexander, come on its bath time.”

Yet, he didn’t follow my direction either and it literally took twenty minutes to get him to me and it took a very light pop to the butt. It was through the diaper and the clothes but it worked. He let me get him cleaned up at least but redressed was a whole other story, that took another thirty minutes and I really didn’t want to pop him without anything on. Finally managed to get him down to be dressed and then back to the room with Riley.

“That was a long time.” Maddi said.

“No kidding, he was screaming with Casey, he didn’t want me to undress him either, I actually had to pop him! Then he didn’t want to be dressed and I didn’t want to pop him without clothes on. He fought that.”

“Riley went through that phase as well.”

“Max, did he actually nap today?”

“He slept for like an hour, but someone came through and woke him up. Riley was woken up too.”

I wondered if I needed to try and get him to lay down again, another short nap but he seemed fine now and throughout the afternoon he was as well. Maddi and I took them to the bus for dinner, their food was there but Alexander just wasn’t having it, Riley ate her mashed potatoes, peas, and a few bites of turkey but Alexander was just pushing everything away.

“Maybe he doesn’t feel well?” Maddi asked.

“Maybe, it’s something he likes, that or he’s just being rude and wants Daddy to feed him.”

“I know they both ate well for lunch, he finished his peaches before Riley did and they both nursed well.”

I smiled and nodded but it was unlike Alexander to not eat, but he wanted down so I let him. About 7:45 he came to me crying and Maddi smiled. I took him to the kitchen area and he sat and ate quietly the entire container of turkey and peas and actually wanted something else so I got the half eaten container of prunes and he finished them off. We went back inside at 8:40, Max was on Riley duty and I had Alexander with me. Zac did give him a hug and a kiss before he went onstage.

“Dada!” he called.

“He’ll be back Alexander, Dada is working.”

He seemed ok and before they started I went to the back with him, wasn’t quite as loud. He played with Riley for a bit but Velma asked me something about an expense that was off, so I was checking it and Max was trying to get Riley to go to sleep but she was not having it. The expense itself was very weird and I didn’t have a clue where it come from so we were trying to back track and see when it was filed.

“Where is Alexander?” Max asked.

“He’s right…” I looked where he had been but he wasn’t there.

“Alexander?” I asked.

She stopped as well and he wasn’t in the room, I left to see if he was in the hallway but wasn’t there either. I heard the crowd get louder than normal and ran to the stage; sure enough he’d somehow managed to find his way from the back room, through the hallway, past several adults and to the stage. He was standing behind the boys, in front of the drum kit smiling. None of them knew he was on the stage with them. Taylor had just said something and I guess he anticipated the reaction to be to him. Thankfully they were doing an acoustic part of the show, so the volume wasn’t bad and they were confused admittedly to the pointing, yet none of them turned around?

Zac looked very confused when Alexander was standing at his leg and I could tell he was calling him. Alexander was all smiles, despite the crowd and regardless there was going to be lots of pictures of him from tonight. Zac turned and looked at me and I shrugged.

“I suppose we can do this song with a special guest.” Taylor said.

Zac picked him up and sat him on his leg. “Well, Tay we can but no music unfortunately, unless mama wants to bring me headphones for him.”

I picked up the pair we had there and took them across to him and put them on him, I considered picking him up but I was sure he was going to scream. So, I eased back out of the light and kneeled. I saw Maddi getting pictures and thankfully the song they choose Zac only needed one hand. Alexander sat there listening and smiling.

He got a round of applause and Zac turned some so I could get him, I had to get his sleeve out of his hand and he was crying before I even got off the stage. I carried him back but Riley was asleep and I knew he wasn’t going to settle for a while, so I found the other room and he just melted down. I should have seen it coming because he really hadn’t been sleeping well and the nap earlier wasn’t long enough. I let him kick and flail laying on the couch before I picked him up, I picked a random song and sang it, which seemed to help. He whined a bit before he seemed to give in. He was asleep when Zac opened the door quietly.

“I know he wasn’t happy.”

“Understatement, he melted down completely, went to sleep about 15 minutes ago.”

He came in and closed the door, sat down beside me. “We’re headed to the next location tonight right?”

“Yep. Maddi said she was going to drive tonight with Riley, Max is sleeping and in the morning she’s going to let him take over driving and she’ll tend to Riley and sleep on the way home.”

“How did he get to the stage?”

“I have no idea, we were in the same room we had them in and Velma was talking about a weird expense and Max asked where he was. I guess the door wasn’t closed all the way and he just went, followed the noise. Thankfully you guys weren’t rocking out.”

“No kidding but it’s still loud. I guess timing because we were talking between songs. Crowd seemed to like that treat.”

“I’m sure Maddi got a few good ones.”

“She better have!”

Alexander turned his head and I looked down and Zac stepped back a bit.

“I’m going to shower before I wake him up.”

He crept out and I stayed there until Casey came to the door. “Everyone’s on the bus, Zac took Taylor and Isaac to the office he said you’d know why.”

“I do.”

I carefully got up and carried Alexander to the bus and to his crib where he curled up and went on to sleep. I then went down to make sure Maddi was fine to drive, on the way out I picked up Riley’s blanket from the seat and laid it in the passenger seat.

“Are you good to drive?”

“Oh yeah, Max made sure I slept most of the morning and I napped before the show. Is Alexander ok?”

“Oh yeah, he just wanted Daddy and Max had just gotten Riley asleep. I didn’t want him to wake her up; he threw another mommy fit before he went to sleep.”

She smiled and shook her head. “That kid is going to be a trip when he’s older.”

“Let’s hope he calms some, I’m not sure I can handle many of those.”

She giggled and Velma beeped me so I told her to drive safely and I got on the bus. I grabbed a quick bite to eat as we started rolling. Most of the crew was wired still even though it was close to 1. Max was already in bed, he’d come out as soon as she took Riley. Velma and Shannon were also in bed. Jared, Dylan and John were in the kitchen eating and talking, Kurt was obviously driving and Carrick was in the front with him. Casey and Robert were watching a movie. The other three were in the office and I went there, knocked.

“It’s me.”

Zac let me in and I sat down in the corner, listened as he finished explaining and neither were mad, neither were upset, they were supportive.

“Man I am wired from the coffee, I think Shannon brought me like a triple double shot or something.” Taylor said.

“Well, you guys do whatever I’m laying down.” I said.

They ended all ended up going downstairs, Zac said he was starving. I lay down and was asleep within minutes; Alexander however woke up at
3:30. Zac still wasn’t up here so I got up. I was hoping it would be a quick deal but nope, he was soaked through and even after dry diaper and clean clothes he was still whiney so I figured it was probably because he didn’t nurse before going to sleep. I went to the back lounge where Robert was crashed out playing a video game. I didn’t even bother to care to cover up and he raised an eyebrow.

“If Zac walks in he won’t kill me will he?”

“Nope, blame me.”

He smiled and I let Alexander nurse. The bus stopped about 4:05 for a fill up in Springfield.

“I wonder if the Simpsons are around.” Robert said.

I laughed. “Not likely, but look for blue hair!”

He smiled and then started humming the theme song and I laid back. Alexander was almost done and by the time we were on the road, he was done and about asleep again.

It was going for 4:25, we were back on the road and I could see Maddi’s car behind us, she was following because she was unfamiliar with the area. I heard Zac’s phone go off and I looked down at it.

*boom*

I looked at it confused; Ian really was a loony person apparently. We were just approaching a turn, Robert and I both got up to go to bed or back in my case and he opened the door but Max was up, looking confused at Alexander’s crib.

“Max?” I asked.

He looked at me and I felt it, a sudden shift to the right, I stumbled into Robert who caught me but Alexander woke up, I steadied myself and wondered what was up, maybe Kurt had to swerve or something. Max was about to say something when I heard two loud noises, deafening inside and Alexander started screaming, but the bus tilted violently to the right, Shannon came out of her bunk and Velma did too, both yelped hitting the floor but it didn’t stop, there was a third loud noise and by now screams were filtering up from below.

“Zac?” I asked.

But before I could turn the whole bus shifted and the impact of the bus hitting the ground slammed me into the dresser beside Alexander’s crib and I saw stars. I heard Max talking, but couldn’t make out what he was saying, but where was my son? He was no longer in my arms but I could hear him screaming. The tilt caused things to start falling out of the bunks, chargers, papers, whatever wasn’t in something. I felt a shove on my arm and then I was inside the bunk close to his crib, I was confused I could still hear him.

“Alexander?”

There was a lurch and then I was laying on the ceiling looking up at the mattress and then I was free falling as we kept rolling, my head caught the edge of the frame before I fell into what use to be Taylor’s bunk.

The last thing I remember was hearing my son screaming for his mother, but I had no idea where he was.