Infinity Chapter 52 - Ocean Reflections

[itztigress3]

Chapter 52 – Ocean reflections

POV:  Emily

Word count: 2548


January 10, 2014

We’d been in Jamaica a few days now, the first day was mostly arriving and settling, the plane ride was fine on Alexander but the take off and descent had made me sick as hell. So, Velma stayed with me while they set up. There was some events scheduled over the few days and concerts, Zac had a solo set today that I planned to attend with Alexander. It wasn’t until afternoon though and he was currently at his tye dye session, which I opted to avoid this year. Instead Velma and I took Alexander to the beach, Zac and I had brought him down the night before. We played in the sand and water for several hours before I asked her to take him back to the room for a bit, he was played out and it was naptime, they were unfortunately getting shorter, but he was sleeping through the night very well now. I remained on the beach watching the waves and thinking, because where else could you reflect on anything than on a beach with the ocean there?

Eliza hadn’t called since we left, the last time I answered she had started in about wanting to know “dad” and it was like she heard nothing that I had said at Casey’s. She’s caught me at a vulnerable moment because Christopher had been there to visit before we left and I just lost it, I guess being told you don’t give a damn and to do your job was enough, but I was sure it wasn’t going to be.

I knew Zac was there by the shadow on the ground, so he didn’t scare me when he sat down behind me and pulled me to him.

“Sand all in my suit now, thanks a lot.”

I felt him kiss my neck. “That’s ok; I’ll help get it all out.”

“I thought I had the hormonal imbalance here?”

“I’m allowed, glad you’re under the umbrella at least. Alexander was slightly pink when I checked on him.”

“Yeah, he stayed down here for a while, kind of nice to let him play without fearing for his life.”

“I assume she hasn’t made any progress?”

“I don’t know, the last time we spoke I pretty much told her to fuck off, not so nicely. Christopher was pretty defensive when I didn’t tell him why I told her too.”

“Well, honey if she is your sister that means there her brothers too. Do they not know about her?”

“No. I haven’t said anything to anyone but your brothers and Casey. Not even Velma knows about her.”

He was quiet for a long time before he kissed my neck. “Casey seems to think you might be jealous of her and that’s why you’re reacting this way. I told him that was bullshit because what does she have that you don’t have? You have a husband and a son and another baby on the way, a wonderful family, and I tried to tell Casey that but he just insisted.”

I watched the waves come and crash on the beach, the bad thing was Casey was right but it had nothing to do with the present times. I wouldn’t trade my family for anything.

“Casey’s right, but it’s not what we have now though, there is nothing she could say that would tell me her life exceeds mine. I’ve seen the world with the person I love more than life itself and I’ve brought a wonderful little boy into the world with the same person, and expecting another miracle too. I’m not jealous of where we are now.”

“Then what do you have to be jealous of? Emily it’s not just that, you get downright pissed off when she calls and sure you get mad at times, but not that quickly.”

I had been afraid he’d ask, but I sat there for several minutes pondering the reply, pondering how to explain to him where the problem stemmed from.

“It’s not the now, it’s the then. She just assumed because I was with you and had this great life that my entire life had been that way. All she claims to know about the kidnapping was I was stalked, kidnapped, and found. She didn’t bother to ask why, who, what happen, nothing. The second time she called me after hello she jumped into how great her parents were, how they were so supportive and loving and how she wanted me to meet them and how they wanted to see me. She just went on and on. She never even asked if our parents were alive before she started saying how she couldn’t wait to meet them. I just…It was bad enough when she showed up but unlike Amanda she’d not laying into me at once it’s like bits and pieces.”

“You haven’t really talked to her though, how can you hate her and not talk to her?”

“How can she just assume anything? She doesn’t know me; she doesn’t know anything about me.”

“You don’t know her either Emily.”

“I know she is nothing like me, she’s way to fucking chipper at 8 in the morning. She got everything I wanted then Zachary. She got a mother for her entire life, she got a father that cared about her as a human being and didn’t beat her, they never told her she was the reason Mom died. She never had to find albums of herself naked that her father used as porn. She didn’t have Adam shoved down her throat, never was stalked for her entire life and then kidnapped. She never…”

I stopped talking.

“She never had her father rape her twice and cause her to lose a baby.”

“Yeah, she had the perfect childhood, the perfect fucking family. No terror, no fear, no running away at 16 because Dad was marrying her off to some rapist. When she first came after she left the thoughts were so scattered because she reminded me of how David was as a father to me. I was almost to a point where I could see having a sister and then she called and started on how great her childhood was. That broke down everything.”

He pulled me close and hugged me tightly, a reverse bear hug which was just fine because he held me tightly there for a long time.

“I know it’s hard to accept that she had this grand life with a decent father and a mother, something you never had. But, look at it from her view. She didn’t have you, she didn’t have five brothers that beat up dudes for her, and she didn’t have Craig the gay friend, who was in love with her. She didn’t get to see Hanson play during the Albertane tour so she could fall in love with her future husband. Sure, she had better experiences when it came to parents. But, she also has no idea she has brothers, nephews and family. Emily, she doesn’t even know Ace is her father and not David. I do understand your point of view, but you don’t seem to have thought about her point of view at all.”

“She didn’t care to know mine. She just thought telling me would be a hunky dory experience and that I’d be so thrilled to have a sister, to have a twin. She didn’t bother to ask.”

“That is her fault but it’s not like you to snap like you have been.”

“What do you expect Zac? She’s the investigator trying to figure out where and who Ian is. Yet, the last few weeks she’s been more concerned about me accepting her than her job. He’s already attacked you twice and it’s clear he is still watching us; he’s just biding his time. We’ve been through this before, what he is waiting on is a prime moment to strike. Really Zac, if she thinks I am bad now what do you think will happen if he gets you or Alexander, if he hurts one or both of you. If she thinks I’m being stubborn now…”

“I’d pity her then because I doubt you’d ever talk to her again.”

“I haven’t told my brothers because I can’t get myself to accept it and to be able to talk without just being pissed at her.”

“Maybe I should talk with her without you there or make her shut up long enough to explain.”

“Maybe, who knows? Besides, enough of my issues…Casey spoke to you alone, what did you decide to do?”

“I really didn’t. He asked Velma about keeping Alexander one afternoon when we get home and she agreed.”

“Well, baby you have to decide one way or the other.”

“I don’t know Emily; I don’t know Robert in that capacity.”

“You know there together now, you can’t just have Casey.”

“I know…” he said.

“You haven’t wanted that type of sex since it happened and while sex with me doesn’t bother you, little bean is proof of that, it doesn’t mean that you will ever feel comfortable with Casey or any other man, that includes what we do.”

“I just…It’s sad I wish Casey wasn’t with Robert so he could but I think the problem is Robert because I don’t know him that well. I know I can trust him not to tell, but I don’t know anything beyond that. I will think about it either way, but I have to go get dressed for my solo. Are you coming?”

I giggled. “Not without your help, but as far as the show goes, yes.”

He laughed and we got up, I tried to get as much sand out of my suit as possible before heading inside, since Alexander was still asleep we took a quick shower together, well, maybe it wasn’t a quick one but worked and he got to help. I wondered if people could see the I got laid look he had that Velma and Casey picked up on.

Alexander woke up before we had to go, so after a snack we headed to the stage. He kissed us both before going on and we stood to the side of the set, being outside it wasn’t as terrible on Alexander’s ears so it was the rare time he got to watch Daddy perform. He seemed very happy to watch and I watched Zac and the crowd itself, I wasn’t sure if Ian was brave enough to fly here. He hadn’t been on the member’s list that purchased the tickets but then again, we didn’t know them all personally.

“Are you Emily?” She asked.

I turned to see a blonde haired girl; I had seen her dozens of times before but never really met her.

“I am, yes.”

“That cannot be Zac’s son.”

Alexander wasn’t even paying her any attention, he was laser focused on Daddy.

“Why not?” I asked.

“Just doesn’t seem like it’s been that long since you had him. He’s gotten big.”

“Yeah, he’s 14 months now.”

“Would you mind if I got a picture?”

“Actually, I would. If I didn’t have him I wouldn’t mind, but we really don’t want his taken that much.”

She gave me a quizzical look, I was sure she thought the same thing I would have, if we didn’t want pictures, why was he here? Only most didn’t really ask and she did.

“Because he deserves to see his father perform from time to time, in fact he deserves it more than anyone else. He’s our son and he deserves to have Zac’s time as much as anyone else does.”

She seemed taken aback, but really it was true. The tour had pulled Zac away more often than not, so he didn’t get a lot of time like people thought. She was wise enough not to remark on it and instead went to raise her camera, but Isaac was suddenly standing in front of me, where did he come from?!

“I believe she said not to take her picture because she has their son?”

Oh yeah, she was all giddy now because Ike was there. I quietly moved toward the stage, off to the side away from fans and Ike came quickly as well.

“Sorry, I heard you and then saw the camera, I knew you’d snap.”

“Not with him, but she might have missed some events.”

He laughed and tickled Alexander who was still laser focused on Zac but he did glance at Uncle Ike.

“I see, Zac’s around and Uncle Ike is chopped liver.”

“Don’t feel bad, I am too!”

He laughed. “Dinner reservations, I tried your phone.”

“Silent, what time?”

“About thirty minutes after his set, we made it rather early but we have a show tonight. Are you going to try to attend?”

“I don’t know, is Nikki?”

“Yes. I think Natalie is as well.”

“With Viggo?”

“No. Velma offered to watch any kid that didn’t need to or want to come. I know Ezra and Penny are, but the other two are staying with her.”

“Alexander might stay, I don’t know.”

He giggled. “Just wanted you to know might be better to stay over here.”

“They can still photograph us; I guess it is an irrational request given where I am.”

“They can’t as good though, see you at dinner.”

He gave Alexander a peck on the forehead and he actually got a response, he cried out because Ike obscured his view of Zac, of course I saw Zac look over too. Once Ike was gone I picked a seat and sat down, it did block us farther from view, so that was good. After his solo set we headed to dinner and ultimately I let Alexander stay with Velma for the show. He liked playing with River and they were both content, but she called me an hour after we left and I could hear him screaming.

“What happen?”

“He was fine until he realized neither of you were here, he wants Zac obviously but I know he can’t come back.”

“I’m on my way.”

I asked Natalie to let Zac know where I was and returned, but when I couldn’t get him to stop I just returned to the show. Nikki and Natalie were both confused but once I sat him down and got him to see Zac well he was fine.

“When you say he’s Zac’s son you don’t lie do you?” Natalie asked.

“Nope, he watched earlier so it shouldn’t bother him. I did put the ear plugs in though just because it’s a full set.”

She smiled and we sat there and chatted lightly, while they kids watched their father’s perform and play. I couldn’t deny that watching him was always something I liked, the way he played and given his set was tilted our way made it better. When Zac came off Alexander squealed and Zac took him, we returned for the night and nothing weird happened the next few days. Alexander and I watched the solo sets from Zac, Casey joined a few times. We also watched the shows at night, the only one we missed was the last one because there wasn’t a place for us to stand and be safe for him to hear.