Infinity Chapter 54 - Resentment

[itztigress3]

Chapter 54 – Resentment

POV:  Emily

Word count: 6385

January 20, 2014

  The time spent on the beach was enough to set my mind in a different direction, to make me think about things. I couldn’t really deny that she looked like me, I had seen it in the comparison photos she’d sent to me, but it didn’t mean I couldn’t resent her for it! Yet, Zac and Casey were right because she didn’t know David, she didn’t know about Ace and she didn’t know she was actually Mom’s 5^th child and not her first. Yet, I still had not mentioned her to anyone but the ones who already knew. Once we got home and somewhat settled I called her and asked her to come over today. When she agreed, I asked Casey and Robert to keep Alexander for the night so he wasn’t here.

It wasn’t that I didn’t want her to know him or see him, I didn’t want either to get attached right now until I was sure I could trust her, until I knew for a fact she was my sister. That sounded foreign to my ears, my sister…

She arrived on time and Grant was with her, like before, Zac was nice and offered and got drinks for them.
Eliza had chosen to wear dark blue jeans and a pearl blue sweater; it did nothing to hide the Glock she carried. Her hair was down and she still had this sunny disposition and it was just way too early for me. Yet, dressed this way I could see the resemblances and it really was like looking in a mirror!

Grant smiled after we all were seated, us on the love seat and them the sofa.

“How was your trip?” he asked.

“It went well, no incidents or anything it was pleasant actually.” Zac replied.

Eliza was literally bouncing in her seat, it was very clear she wanted to say something but I was fine with letting the two men talk.

“Is there anything new on our case since the last time we spoke?” Zac asked.

“Not really. Has he sent anything beyond the few e-mails and messages to your friend, Casey?”

“No. We haven’t gotten anything in weeks really. It’s like he gave up, but I am sure he hasn’t. He’s just waiting.” Zac said.

“For what?” Eliza asked.

I looked up, for someone so good with stalking cases it should have been clear. I had made sure her status as an FBI agent was legit; Craig was good for many things. She was a legitimate FBI agent, but she clearly was showing signs that she didn’t know much about her supposed specialty.

“He’s waiting for us to screw up, it’s what Adam did. He weaseled his way into a friend and then got her to lure me away so he could take me. He waited patiently for the right moment, caught me without trusted people and then snatched me away.”

“Do you think Ian is doing the same thing?” Grant asked.

“Most likely, yes. We’re just not going to screw up this time.” Zac said.

Eliza fidgeted again and the two men grew quiet but Zac looked at me, probably to see if I was getting irritated. Seeing her made me want to scream but I was trying to be rational here.

“Well, where are they?” She asked finally.

“Where are who?” I asked.

“Mom and Dad, I figured you got them and brought them here to meet me. I’ve been dying to meet them and I am sure you didn’t mean what you said before at your friends, you were very upset and most people don’t mean what they say when they’re upset.”

I blinked and looked at Zac utterly confused. She thought I said that just because I was upset?! He laid his hand on my leg, squeezed tightly. I just couldn’t believe she wouldn’t believe me on something like that. She looked at us, waited for what she thought was going to be some big reunion and how do you tell someone again their mother is dead?! 

“Emily was not joking or kidding, she actually doesn’t lie when she’s that upset. She meant every word she said to you that day.”  Zac said.

“But…that’s just…that can’t…”

I could feel it, I was getting mad again. Not only did she barge into my life without warning, then brag about having the perfect fucking family, she how basically called me a liar. I knew how this was going to end, I was going to blow up on someone and it wasn’t going to be pretty. I closed my eyes and began to count; it was easier to block it out.

“I’m sorry Eliza but it wasn’t a lie. Isabella, her mother, died from a hemorrhage before either of you was a day old. David admitted that he hit her after she had Emily.” Zac said.

“He’s our father and her husband, why would he do that?”

I inhaled to answer but Zac’s hand over my mouth kept me from doing that, he’d never stopped me before! Grant and Eliza both seemed taken aback as well.

“Let her speak.” Grant said.

“You really don’t want me too, she’s angry and I can feel it and see it in her body language. It’s better if I do it.”

“Angry? What the hell does she have to be angry about? She was raised by our father; she was always with him and knows him. She got to be there and attend events, he protected her. I didn’t get any of that. If either of us has the right to be angry it’s me, they just gave me up and choose to keep her. He never contacted them, never tried to find me, it was like I was unwanted.”

Zac removed his hand and sat back, but I knew the pose. Grant wouldn’t get far if he tried to come near me. I sat quietly for a moment, trying to control the rapid heartbeat and the desire to stomp her ass and then I got up to walk out, I couldn’t contain it and it was better. I heard Zac say stop but she was quick, I was barely in the kitchen when she spun me around.

“Stop fucking running.” She yelled

The sudden movement made me dizzy and I grabbed the counter to steady myself. I saw Zac getting up but he stopped when he heard the sound. I had given the other side of her face the same crimson color as before.

“If you do that one more fucking time, I will not just slap the fuck out of you I will seriously hurt you. Take your hands off of me, right now.” I yelled.

She did remove her hand but she wasn’t going to back down, I could see Zac stopping Grant, god knows what he said but Grant didn’t move after he did.

“Come off it Emily, you act like a spoiled brat is that what he did? Spoil you? Egged on by your husband?”

I waited for the dizziness to pass before letting the counter go and I looked at her.

“First off don’t ever pretend to know who the fuck I am, you apparently have known about me for a very long fucking time. I didn’t know you existed until December 27^th when you just showed up and acted like I’m suppose to just accept you. The world doesn’t work that way.”

She just crossed her arms, which did nothing to calm me down.

“Fine. You want to know about David? You want to know why every time I hear your voice or see your face I just want to break something? Why I hate you so fucking much and I don’t even know you? Because you got the cushy life with a loving set of parents, I got stuck with David. I got stuck with a man who thinks women are sex toys and should be made to do what men want. I got stuck with a man who kidnapped, tortured, and raped women. I got stuck with a man who got off on 12 year olds, a pedophile who never fucking wanted a daughter. I got stuck with a man who didn’t care; he had no problem beating the hell out of me when I was six. No problem knocking me out when I was 12. He didn’t care that a man expressed sexual desires for me when I was three and let him stay around me, didn’t care when that man came back and wanted me for his wife. I got stuck with a man who hated me, who resented me, and wanted nothing more than for me to be given to someone that would take videos and pictures so he could jack off to them. You got stuck with a man who actually fucking cared about you. YOU told me he was the best father in the world and you have the audacity to tell me I don’t have a right to be angry and you do?”

“He can’t have been…”

“Don’t. Do not tell me it couldn’t have been that bad. I ran away when I was 16 because he was going to force me to marry Adam. He’d already been using me as a punching bag for two years. Nothing protected me. You asked what Mom put in the letter? She promised to tell me about you. She promised to protect me. You want to know who protected me from him?”

“Who?”

“No fucking body, not a single fucking person ever stopped him until I left home. 16 years he did whatever he wanted. The only people willing to stand up for me knew better because they knew he’d beat them too. He took pictures of me as a child, hidden cameras in my bedroom, used those pictures to jack off too. He did that until I took the albums home by mistake, intent to get pictures of the mother I never saw. I never had a mother, there was no woman to hold me after he beat the hell out of me, no mother to tell me everything would be ok, no one for me to turn to when I had questions about why I was bleeding to death. He didn’t even have the balls to tell me about puberty because he was sooo busy trying to pretend I was a boy, so he wouldn’t really hurt me.”

She was shaking her head and I could feel a warm heat spread through me, I wanted to snap her neck and seriously hurt her, how could she ask and then shake her head? Oh right, the world was sunshine and roses to her, nobody ever said anything bad. My hand grabbed the coffee cup Zac had used earlier and I just slung it, it slammed into the back door shattering and spilling contents down the wall, Zac practically tripped over the sofa to get into the kitchen.

He stood between us. “Ems, you need to calm down now.”

“Get. Out. Of. The. Way. Zac.” I spoke the words through gritted teeth which meant he listened but he didn’t go far, surely he would stop me if I actually went after her. Grant was there any way to protect her.

She seemed amused, I should have worried about hurting her feelings, about causing the same infliction of pain she was causing me but I didn’t. Instead, I considered little bean and my raging anger at the moment was causing many physical problems which couldn’t be good for him or her. I just couldn’t at the moment. I was too angry, I was too pissed off. So, I started to go to the steps.

“Don’t walk away from me. Come on, you can slap an FBI agent, scream at me and yet you can’t even finish?”

“You need to shut the fuck up, this isn’t your house it’s ours and if she wants to walk away, she sure as hell can. No one made you come here; no one made you do a damn thing.” Zac was clearly mad too.

I paused and took a few deep breaths, could feel her there with me even though I couldn’t see her. Could almost hear her telling me to let it out and get it over with. Sure, her feelings should matter and I should use tact but really, she hadn’t done that with me. Sent my life into a tailspin and was pussyfooting around on a case that could get my husband and son killed, yet the only thing she wanted was a history lesson? I turned and walked back to her.

“Your mother didn’t know why Mom would separate us, but I do. David was possessive and he wouldn’t have ever accepted adoption as an option, he is no introvert and he made really good money then. He never wanted daughters because he can’t control his urges toward little girls and having one living in the house was not good for him. Mom knew that and when she found out we were girls she arranged the adoption. Her plan was to have us, let your parents take us and then tell David she gave birth to a stillborn son and they’d bury ashes. She could have done that with you, he never saw you. Yet, because I was so unlucky to be born last he witnessed my birth, he was there when the doctors said I was fine, no problems. Mom knew David would never give us both up so she chose to let them take you and to keep me, she had no choice in that topic.”

“You weren’t unlucky, just breech and for her first pregnancy not unnormal.”

I was very confused because Grant knew I had brothers, there were pictures of us over the house and yet, she hadn’t connected the dots?!

“We were not her first pregnancy; I have five older brothers including a set of twins. We were mom’s fifth pregnancy Eliza.”

“What?” She asked.

Zac got the picture from the fridge of us without the kids. “It was taken over Christmas.”

“David wanted no girls but he kept me because I was his. He didn’t keep you because he didn’t know about you, otherwise you would have come home to the same fucked up existence and you know I really wish you had and I’d been taken. He killed Mom because she had me, because she lied to him and told him she was having a boy. Then he blamed me, every chance he got. You have no idea how it feels to be told you’re the reason you don’t have a mother, that your brothers no longer have a mother. You’ll never know what it feels like to be beaten because you did something wrong, to have to see your older brothers hold you there so he can. To know there just as helpless because anything to stop him and you got beat too. You walk up in here like I owe you something, like I should be happy and then act like a dumb child. Seriously, grow the fuck up I did when I was 16 when he sat me down on my birthday and told me Adam was picking me up and getting our marriage license the next day. Adam, the same man who lusted after me when I was 3, who spent time in jail for raping and murdering a girl, he was giving me away because he couldn’t control himself anymore.”

“That sounds…” Grant started.

“Shut up, your wife pushed Emily to this point, so you’ll both just shut up and listen.” Zac snapped.

“I didn’t speak to them for 8 years. I went to a friend, his mother took me in and got custody because I had black and blue marks where he’d hit me. David never was a non-violent man. He didn’t know how to be easy. Turns out, he was far worse than that. Adam kidnapped me at the end of July in 2010. Weaseled into our inner circle and lured me away. I wasn’t even there a full day before he came there, the one time I thought he would be my father, that he’d realized what Adam was and that he was there to help me, no false sense of security he held me and then let Adam tell him everything he’d beaten out of me already, then he gave him a number and held me as he hit me. I passed out long before he was done, woke up in a cage, in the floor. A week I spent there, locked in a white basement, locked in the dark when they both knew I hated it, beaten with a belt until I couldn’t feel it.”

It was getting to her the defiance in her face was wavering now, her shoulders slumped as well.

“They brought Zac there so they could sell him. No, they wanted him there to watch, to let him know they had control and not him. To let him know while he was being held by some pervert, I was there with them. He found a diary of Mom’s that said I didn’t belong to him, that I was someone else’s child. He did a rush DNA somewhere and sure enough, it didn’t match. 26 years I called him Dad and you know as he held me down and raped me for the second time that day, I just wanted to die. I didn’t want to exist anymore. Honestly, I didn’t think I could feel any worse than I did then. Until I woke up in the hospital the first of August and Zac had to tell me that when he hit me while I tried to fight him to get away he’d caused me to miscarry. He took my mother away, he took my childhood away, he ripped any sense of security from me and then he had the balls to take away my child as well. You will never have to feel that pain Eliza, because he can’t do that to you. I put him in a federal prison, after I shot him and paralyzed him from the waist down.”

“You shot our father?” She asked.

“No. I shot David Daniels. You didn’t listen Eliza, he raped me when he found out I didn’t belong to him. Because the only thing that protected me for 26 years was our mother’s secret, he thought I was his and to him incest was very wrong. But when he found out I wasn’t, nothing stopped him. We’re supposed to be twins Eliza, which means we have the same parents and David is not your father.”

“But…I just…”

“He’s not our father and I don’t care what you believe right now. I don’t care how you feel; I don’t care how much it hurts. Because you didn’t care enough to find me years ago, because you didn’t care to ask anything before you just assumed, you walked into this house with the notion that everything was fine and dandy and our biological parents were like Gene and Mary Ann. Tough break kiddo, there not. The man you think is so wonderful is serving jail time for rape and a whole cornucopia of other charges. The woman you thought you’d meet was killed by him because she had a girl. You thought I was your only sibling when I’m not, you believe a lie. I think you should go now, I’m not feeling very friendly and I really just want to calm down and I can’t do that with you here.”

“Emily...” Grant said.

“No! You read the file. You knew I had brothers, you knew about David. Do not think I will pity either of you. Read the file, verify everything I said. You can read his confession like I did, curled up and cried as I read how he wanted to do so many horrible things to me over the years. How my oldest brother bathed me because he only wanted to hurt me. I think you need to give someone else this case because really, I don’t feel like your doing anything at all. I feel like you took the case solely to get close and honestly that pisses me off the most.”

“Oh please, I can do my job.”

“Don’t Eliza, I don’t think you can. I don’t feel comfortable putting my life in your hands, putting my son’s life in your hands or putting Zac’s life in your hands.”

I stepped right to her face, I could see my reflection in her eyes, could feel our bodies almost touching.

“If anything happens to my husband or my son because you feel like you don’t need to do anything or because you’re not trying to do anything, or even because you just can’t accept the cold hard facts, don’t expect anyone in this family to ever forgive you. I know I won’t and cold hard fact is that our brothers know me, they know Zac, they love their nephew and if you are the cause of problems they will never forgive you Eliza. They will never accept you as their sister or mine. It’s time you go now; think about what I said and your husband can provide you the files to verify everything. Do not call me unless its case related until you can accept all of those facts. I’m not pampered, I’m not spoiled, and most importantly I’m not a little girl anymore.”

I then turned and walked away, stepped over the gate and went to the now empty room where I sat down in the floor. I had to calm down. I was sure Zac let them out and everything, it took him thirty minutes to even come into the room and he sat down beside me.

“They’re gone.”

“I’m sorry, that’s not how you wanted it to go.”

“No, but at least you got everything out that you felt you needed too, but Emily you have to stop getting that upset it’s not good for you or the baby.”

“I tried to walk away twice. How can anyone be so clueless?”

He kissed my temple, let his lips linger there. “She just wants answers but there not what she wants. I hope this doesn’t get me kicked out but really Emily, would you want her life?”

I looked at him sharply and confused. “What do you mean?”

“Sure she has parents, a mom and a dad. But, she never knew George, Joshua, Jason, Aaron or Christopher. She knows nothing about her real mother, your brothers told you about her. She knew nothing about David and she still knows nothing about Ace.  Can you really say that having a Mother and father that are like hers would outweigh knowing your brothers and your father? I do not doubt for a moment that you and I would have met somewhere, perhaps sooner maybe later but we’re soul mates Emily, we would have met regardless.”

I looked at him and kissed him. “Honestly, I wouldn’t change anything in my life, well maybe one thing I would have totally left home sooner. I wouldn’t trade knowing my brothers and Ace for just a mom and dad. But, it doesn’t stop me from resenting her for having it. It doesn’t ease the pain that Mom was so willing to give us up and protect us but didn’t do that to me. She didn’t know she was going to die but she could have done something.”

“You never mentioned reading his confession, why not?”

I leaned over onto his shoulder, let his arm come around me and hold me there in the floor.

“I glanced more than anything; I just couldn’t read it fully. I couldn’t read everything he wanted to do to me. He always wanted to. I guess I kind of forgot until she brought it up.”

“You want to know a secret?”

“You have no secrets Zachary.”

He giggled and kissed my forehead again. “If he had done those things to you, if he had hurt you like he wanted. I would have killed him, because he would have hurt you. As I said, soul mates and I am sure I would have found my way to you.”

I believed him too, because he was more than willing to do it in 2010. We sat there another thirty minutes before getting up, we called Taylor and got lunch orders and stopped on the way in. They were in the studio when we arrived, but Alexander was sitting in Casey’s lap and started crying the minute he saw us. Zac got him, but he kept whining and when he got close to me he almost dropped him because he leaned toward me.

“Wow, he doesn’t want you?”

“He doesn’t feel too good.” Robert said.

“What do you mean?” Zac asked.

“I don’t think he slept three hours last night, he doesn’t have a fever and we checked a few times to make sure. He does have a bit of diarrhea; it’s not like every five minutes but be warned we’ve already changed him twice since we got here. As Casey had changed him at 4 am because it was running out.”

“Come on Robert, we’re about to eat!” Isaac yelped.

“Hey, I’m letting them know.”

“But why didn’t you call?” I asked.

“Please don’t throw anything at them, they’re not FBI agents but I need them both for music!” Zac said.

“You threw something at the FBI?” Taylor asked, his eyes were wide and well, it just made him look better you could see those pretty blues.

“No! I threw the coffee cup at the back door because of her.”

“Sorry, guess it didn’t go as planned?” Casey asked.

“No, it didn’t.” Zac said.

It was clear that Alexander didn’t feel good, but he didn’t feel warm and I asked them what he ate, everything was something he’d had before, so that wasn’t it. He looked and acted tired but didn’t lay down, he sat in my lap and he did eat some of what we brought.

“Did we bring extra clothes?”

“We have a few different suits in the office, why?” Zac asked.

“He needs to be changed and I’ll take him, if he’ll let me.”

None of the others asked why, Isaac glared as he was still eating his sandwich. Zac came with me anyway, which was good because the smell alone caused me to gag so he had to do that. He still didn’t have a fever but he obviously wasn’t feeling well. When Zac went back down for the meeting, Alexander didn’t cry for him. He wouldn’t lie down and didn’t want toys; he just wanted to be held. I had to sit him down when Velma came in at 3 so I could sign papers; he stood beside me and cried.

“It’s ok Alexander, Mommy’s not going anywhere.”

Once she had what she needed I closed the door, dimmed the lights and picked him up. I had to change him again and while he was down I took his shoes off. Once dry I sat him in my lap. I called Diana, because she really was the only mom I knew besides Craig’s. She recommended waiting and if it got worse to take him to the doctor. It felt good to have advice from someone who raised 7 without problems. Alexander was still in my lap when Zac came up at 4:40. He stayed for about ten minutes, ended up calling and making an appointment because he was more flushed now and then he went back downstairs.

I considered laying him down but because he didn’t feel well, I didn’t want too. So, I laid down with him on the sofa, letting his head rest on my arm. I guess I was tired as well, because it was my phone that woke me up around 6. I did realize that Zac must have come back; there was a blanket over us both. Alexander was still asleep, so I carefully got up, laying him down on the sofa. I then got my phone, but it was Eliza’s name.

I answered. “What do you want?”

“I was calling to see if someone could let me into the studio, I’ve been ringing the door for twenty minutes.”

“Why? If you came to talk to me then you may as well leave, I said everything I needed to this morning.”

“Please?”

I hung-up and walked to the front, she was alone and in the same clothes as this morning, but the sunshine and roses attitude seemed gone. She didn’t seem chipper or happy, I let her inside but didn’t let her into the office, instead I stood outside the door.

“What do you want?”

“To apologize to you. You were right I didn’t stop to think about what your life was like or what you’d been through, I just assumed that where you are was it. I was pissed when I left this morning, rambled all the way to our hotel and when we got there Grant laid the folder down.”

I just waited what else could I do? I’d already told her what I needed to say.

“I’m sorry that you didn’t get to come with me and experience things I did. I’m sorry that I can’t trade places and your right; I’ll never know how it feels for him to treat me like that. I just, I guess I didn’t want to believe that someone I thought was so great is so horrible.”

“Believe me it wasn’t easy when I learned it either, nor did any of my brothers take it as easily.”

I glanced into the office; Alexander was still asleep on the sofa.

“You were right about something else, I’ve known about you a long time. They told me I was adopted when I was fourteen and told me about you when I was 16 and old enough to find you.  They let me know you didn’t know about me and since no one had contacted me I just assumed you didn’t want to know me, so I didn’t look for you.”

“Why now then?”

She paused a long time. “I’ve always wanted to know you I just felt like you were told and just didn’t care. Grant saw you when your tour bus wrecked, he’d remarked a few times that you and I resembled one another but it wasn’t until he saw you that he realized why. He told me about the wreck and the stalking case and when I asked if you knew he said he didn’t think you did, because you didn’t say anything.”

She paused a few moments. “You resented me for having the parents you never got; I resented you for having this life. You get to travel outside the country and see places, I’ve seen photos from Australia and New Zealand, I haven’t even been to all fifty states and you’ve been to them many times. I just didn’t think that the people I was told about would be gone already and such a bad person.”

I hadn’t considered that she had resentment towards me but mine seemed so much more deep and hers more materialistic.

“Not much I can do about that.”

“No, and Grant made me realize that after we got back. He tried to tell me that I should have been more honest with you and that I shouldn’t have called so much and said so much at first, he basically told me I was acting like a child. You basically told me the same thing. I should have let you process this on your own and I should have just asked you before assuming things were differently.”

“That would have been better, you’ve known about me since you were sixteen and you just dropped it on me and then brought up memories I’d rather forget. It’s not really a good time to have confused feelings and honestly I’m still not where you are with this.”

“I understand, you need time to process and time to accept, but I did something ahead of time.”

She got a paper from her pocket and handed it to me. “Grant said you may not accept this and may want something you are positive about but I pulled your DNA results from the previous case and compared it with mine, which the FBI has on file.”

I unfolded the paper and seen two lines, our names and they matched all the way across that would mean we were identical twins.

“I do have 2 questions.” She said.

I looked up from the paper, please god if she asked me some stupid question I might just snap!

“Do you know who our father is and did you really shoot him?”

“I do know who he is; he came to me in 2010, December actually. I assume you mean David and the answer is yes, I shot him. It should have been in the file.”

“The file said Adam shot him and committed suicide. But, Grant indicated a flag which meant the information was changed to protect people.”

“Yeah, me. Zac was trying to get Adam down and David came, I knew he had to be stopped. I wasn’t aiming for any spot but my shot hit the thoracic spine, instantly paralyzed him.”

I didn’t know Alexander had woken up, that is, until he was tugging on my pants and crying. I picked him up and instantly regretted it, I felt the wetness on my arm and by her face it was bad.

“You can come in here; obviously he needs to be changed.”

Despite the smell and the slight gagging I managed to change his diaper, clean him up as best I could, and put the last sleeper on him. He whined but laid there. He didn’t give me much time, once the sleeper was on he was up and crawling into my arms.

“His pictures just don’t do him justice; those little curls are so adorable.”

“Thank you, mine and Zac’s was curly at this age as well.”

He had his face near my neck and he felt very warm, it was going to be a long night.

“Would you mind if I held him?”

“Not to offend, but he’s not going to let you hold him, he’s not feeling well.”

“Understandable. He does seem a little flushed.”

I heard Zac and Taylor before they ever reached the door, Zac seemed confused and eyed us both and Taylor, who had never seen Eliza, was just stunned.

“Everything ok?” Zac asked.

“Yeah, I’m ok. Although he’s out of clean clothes so if you guys are going to be much longer then I’m going to have to take him home.”

“No, we’re done finally.”

“Taylor, this is Eliza. That is Taylor, Zac’s brother.”

“I know who he is, I know the band but sorry I was more into the pop boy bands. Nick carter, Justin those guys.”

“They’re very nice people, good singers.”

“You’ve...met them?”

“Once or twice, yeah. I don’t know them personally or have like their addresses or anything.”

“Hi. Uh..Ems, when you said twin…I thought you were joking.”

“Nope.”

“Wow.” He said.

He came over for Alexander who death gripped my shirt. “Sorry Uncle Tay, he just woke up and he’s not feeling well.”

He sat down and instead spoke to him, but while he got a half smile that was all he got.

“I’m going to assume you two will be late tomorrow.”

I nodded. “Zac made him an appointment already, early tomorrow. Uh, he’ll be here but I may crash at Casey’s or at home, if he’s sick here is the last place he needs to be.”

He nodded, reminded Zac about something and then left. Zac sat down beside me.

“Dada…”

Zac smiled and Alexander went when he held his hands out. Eliza smiled as Alexander laid his head on his shoulder.

“We should get him home and see if we can get him to eat and drink something, maybe sleep. Eliza just give me a few days to let things sink in and gain control over how I’m feeling about this. I know your curious and I know you want to meet everyone but please don’t call or show up, they don’t know about you and I’d rather be able to tamper there shock some.”

“Understandable, I didn’t know they existed at all and I don’t want them to react like you.”

“Uh, there reaction might be worse. They’re very protective.”

“I will definitely let you introduce us; I think that would be better anyway.”

Zac got up and was getting his diaper bag and getting the dirty clothes from here. I got up and she followed us to the car.

“Have a good afternoon; I hope he gets to feeling better.”

“I do too.”

Alexander was not happy about being in his car seat, Zac sat in the back seat and talked to him but he didn’t seem happy still.

“You head home, take care of him. Call me when you want to talk or when you can.”

“Ok.” I said. She moved down to a dodge charger and got in; I climbed into the truck and went home. Alexander cried all the way home and until he was out of the car seat.

“You know he could be a little sore from the many diaper changes, why don’t you give him a warm bath and make sure he’s nice and clean, there is diaper rash crème in his room.”

“Good point.”

I fixed dinner while he did that, coming back down 45 min later both with wet hair and Alexander was in his pajamas and god he looked tired. He ate well again, took his cup which I’d given him pedialyte because of the excessive diaper changes. Because he wanted one of us anyway, we just decided to lay him down with us for the night and we both laid down earlier than normal with him, he curled up next to me at first but throughout the night he woke up and changed.