Infinity Chapter 99 - Saying Goodbye

[itztigress3]

Chapter 99 – Saying Goodbye
POV: Zac / Emily
Word count: 4900


October 25, 2014; Saturday

Mine and Alexander’s birthday had been spent just how we each wanted. He got the aquarium with us and he got to pet the sea otters this time and we also got pictures with some animals, he was afraid of the dolphins though. He got the daytime but I got her all to myself that night. I’d missed the drumsticks but 29? Fuck that had hurt and still did to some degree. We were now in Georgia with her brothers for David’s funeral service; she had debated for two days on whether she wanted to be here and then whether she wanted either of our children here. We couldn’t leave Isabella at home, because there was no way to ensure she would have enough milk to last that long and she couldn’t go that long without feeding her or pumping, so we did have her with us. Alexander was with Casey at our house with Detective Walker sleeping inside the house and extra guards. Casey was to have him sleep with him. Eliza came with us. We were up and she was awake but just debating still. Craig was staying with Casey as well with Jasmine; Christopher came out to attend the services.

“You have to decide Emily; his service is a few hours away.”

“I don’t know Zac. Stop asking.”

I kissed her forehead. “I know it’s a hard decision but you’re already here. We’re going to be there and it’s ok Emily. You need to have this closure because you can’t ever think he’s alive or there. You need to know personally.”

It was clear I was getting on her nerves and when she didn’t reply for several minutes I wondered if I pushed her too far actually.

“Fine. But my daughter is not wearing black, she’s not going into the room where he’s at, and you will keep her covered completely. I don’t give a damn who wants to see her, not a single fucking person there besides my brothers has any right to see her. Is that clear?”

“Yes. She doesn’t own anything black and I will keep her blanket over her.”

She finally went and got some breakfast after that and then fed her and procrastinated getting ready. I went ahead and put the black suit on
and re-adjusted Isabella’s carrier for me instead of her. I was worried about Emily really but her brothers would be there as well.

-Emily-

There were times where I really didn’t want Zachary to be right; we’d had several conversations before even coming out because I didn’t want to be here. Yet, he was right. I needed to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that David couldn’t ever hurt me again. Part of me really wanted to wear red as a fuck you but as much as I hated him, I couldn’t disrespect my brother like that or their families. So once Zac was dressed and I really wanted to send them on and rip that suit back off, I let him play with Isabella while I got dressed. I really had one black dress and it didn’t suit for feeding her, so I had to purchase a wrap dress for this occasion. It was knee length with sleeves and tied on my left side, but once it was on I quickly realized that I was showing way too much cleavage.

“Zac…I have a problem.”

He looked up from the bed and smiled. “It’s not a problem to me.”

“Well, remember David was a pedophile, who knows who will be there.”

“Ask Christina is she has something you can put under it, while I love that amount of cleavage you are right.”

I found her in the kitchen and Christopher and Aaron both covered their eyes.

“It’s not like you haven’t seen breast before. Christina, please tell me you have a black cami or something I can use.”

She giggled. “I do, come with me.”

She had a few and I selected one that was plain black and then went back to the room where I changed. Zac approved of the change and I felt
better about being covered more. I even wore black shorts under the dress in case it came untied. We went downstairs where Eliza was waiting, she was wearing a black pant suit and her badge and gun were under the edge, I had no doubt she’d keep them away from me. My brother’s were all in black suits with white shirts and their wives all had on black. They hired a babysitter for their children because they didn’t want them there. I’d have left Isabella with one but I had to feed her and leaving her here with a sitter was out of the question, she had to be with someone we trusted.

“You are bringing Isabella?”

“Yes. I can’t leave her with anyone but Zac’s keeping her with him and keeping her covered.”

They nodded and we left, I hated the feeling of dread. I hated wondering if this was some fake scheme to get us all together again for some sick
family reunion. But, George had been adamant, he was dead. Zac drove and to keep myself calm I sat in the back with Isabella, playing with her and keeping her laughing and giggling, awake so that hopefully I could feed her there and she’d fall asleep. Zac parked in the rear of the lot for a reason, I sat in the truck and fed her while Zac got the carrier in place. We’d kept her awake for a bit longer than normal but she nursed well and truthfully I wished she’d just pitched a fit and I could use that as an excuse. Instead she ate and then Zac put her in the carrier and covered her up.

“Come on. We’re right here. I won’t leave you alone.”

I finally got out of the truck and he locked it up. Eliza and I both had left our hair down, but even down we were recognizable because she had highlights and I didn’t. She didn’t know anyone except our brother’s, but she was mostly here for me and to make sure we were safe. I made sure Isabella was completely covered before walking into what felt like a lion’s den. It was my luck to run into Megan right there.

“Well, I didn’t expect you to be here and you’ve dyed your hair.” She said.

Eliza looked confused and I smiled in my head and looked at her. “I haven’t dyed my hair Megan.”

She looked at me totally confused, if this was going to be everyone’s reactions I could deal.

“I’m Eliza, her older twin sister. You apparently are Megan?” Eliza asked.

“Yeah, Mary and Bart’s daughter.”

“It’s nice to meet you.”

“That cannot be Alexander, he was bigger the last time I saw him.” She said.

All smiles and happiness and I saw Zac’s arm tighten a bit. “No. It’s not our son, he’s with family members.”

“Then who is this?”

“None of your business Megan, let’s uh, not pretend we’re family. I’m here for my brother’s and that’s all. Come on guys, we should move on
inside.”

She was awfully brave and tried to actually move the blanket, but Eliza was suddenly there and her face was all seriousness.

“I’m not anyone to you and I don’t care who you are. It’s none of your business who it is.”

The badge is probably what stopped her as she smiled and backed away. We moved on into the funeral parlor and I just felt weird and like everyone was staring at me. Peter was the next cousin I ran into, not far up the hallway or long after Megan. I wondered if emotionally I could handle this.

“Mighty brave of you to even bother to show your face.” He said.

I looked at him and remembered he was the one who lied to Amanda, fed her all the lies of course they came from David.

“I still have my brothers and sister.”

“Sister? I think you’re confused Emmy.”

“Mrs. Hanson will do fine and I’m not confused.”

Yeah, the same shocked expression when Eliza stepped out from behind Zac and greeted him. The fact that she had the badge seem to wipe the smug look off his face and he quickly moved away from us. He never commented on the baby Zac held. She had cooed a lot since coming in and was finally quiet.

“Asleep, it’s ok.” Zac said.

We steadily moved into the packed hallways with people I knew, some I didn’t. Most everyone looked sad, depressed, down or some combination of all of it. Aaron and Christopher were greeting people like nothing happened at all but everyone looked at me like I was some black sheep.

“You don’t belong here.” Uncle Marcus said.

Eliza turned because he’d spoken to her and I turned as well but he showed no visible signs of being shocked that there were two of us now.

“I stand corrected, neither of you belong here.”

“I guess you knew about me, kind of odd that my own baby sister didn’t know but you did.”

“Well, something’s were shared. It doesn’t change the fact that neither of you belong here.”

I felt hands on my shoulders and it wasn’t Zac, he was beside me and I glanced to see who it was, George stood behind me.

“Uncle Marcus.”

“George. I assume you invited them or something.”

“I don’t need to invite her because she has every right to be here. David raised her as well and while she may not biologically be his, the fact remains that he saw her as his daughter and she was under the impression he was for a long time. I’m not going to allow you or anyone else to make today any worse for anyone here. We are here to pay our respects to your brother and my father.”

He bristled, clearly not pleased with the words but he just moved away.

“The funeral director just informed me they were ready, if you still want too now is the time.”

Zac and Eliza looked confused and I nodded. “Eliza you are to stay with Zac, no one touches either of them for any reason. I don’t care what you have to do honestly.”

“Ems?” Zac asked.

“It’s something I need to do alone Zac and I do not want our baby in that room anywhere near him.”

He nodded and Eliza moved closer to Zac and he said something about a seat while George lead me through the crowd to the doors that had been closed, viewing had not been available when we arrived, they were about to open it up.

“You don’t have to do this Emily.” Aaron said.

“Just give me a few minutes at least.”

It was Marcus that called George’s name so he left my side and I stood there a moment before Christopher patted my shoulder and opened the door. I was sure Marcus was mad or upset, but I’d asked for this time when I called to say we were coming out. I stepped inside the room and the door shutting behind me sounded extremely loud to me and I stood there for several minutes. On the other end of the room laid a casket surrounded by flowers and there were pictures on the walls, George had selected them on purpose, there were no photos of us or mom, just him. I finally made the walk to the other end of the room. I wasn’t sad or depressed; I couldn’t quite place the emotion until I got closer and realized I was shaking violently.

I was terrified.

I couldn’t move any farther and I half expected him to just sit up and laugh, that’s how he was after all and I just stood there, memories of him swimming around in my head, all the times he hit me, told me I was the reason she died, I was the reason their mother wasn’t here. How he used those photos of me, sickening and how his entire plan was to marry me off to Adam. I couldn’t stop the influx of memories from the last time I saw him.

Your mother said she would never have a bastard child either, yet she had you and your queer brothers.

I’m sure you remember the second time…

I would have let him take you when he wanted too, which for the record was before he went to jail.

You were the youngest; you were the one that was going to pay for everything Isabella did.

I didn’t want you there, even under the premise that you were mine.

It wasn’t helping and I turned to leave, I couldn’t do it. All five brothers were there.

“You need to do this Emily.” George said.

“Move.”

“We know it’s hard, it’s hard for us too.” Joshua said.

I looked at them and I saw Christopher step back. “If you don’t want me to destroy every fucking thing in this room, then you need to move. I can’t do this now. I just can’t.”

They moved and let me out of the room, I didn’t care who I ran past or what occurred I just had to get out and I found steps going up-stairs which I took three at a time I didn’t want any of them to see me. I knew if they said anything I would snap. I found a room that was empty on the second floor and I went in that room and closed the door. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest and I knew I needed to calm down. I couldn’t even describe how I felt, some mixture of fear and anger. I sat down on the sofa in the room; there was no one to call this time. I had no idea how much time passed before the door opened and Zac and Eliza came in, he still had her covered. They sat down on either side.

“Christopher told us it was safer if we left you alone for a little while.” Zac said.

“I think I scared him again.”

“You did, but he understood. It’s about her feeding time though, and I don’t think she’s going to be pleased with waiting.”

“No. She wouldn’t be.”

Neither of them spoke but Zac laid her down and changed her before I fed her, I had to maneuver clothes anyway and I left her uncovered because we were alone. Zac made sure the door was locked while she ate.

“I wanted to see him but I didn’t feel comfortable going into the room and well, strict instructions for me to be glued to them.” Eliza said.

“I didn’t even make it quite halfway, dead people shouldn’t scare me.”

“He’s not just any person Emily.”

I nodded. “He still shouldn’t.”

“Let’s not pretend you weren’t scared of him when he was alive Emily. Even wheelchair bound I could see it in your eyes, you are afraid of him
and it’s ok.”

I felt Zac’s hand on my back. “How about when she’s done we let Eliza carry her and I’ll have your brother’s stay with her and we can go in.”

“I shouldn’t need anyone to go in with me.”

He kissed my temple. “You don’t have to be alone Emily. You need closure as well as anyone else does. I don’t have to be right beside you.”

I looked at him. Those warm caramel eyes that I’ve always loved, the way he felt comfortable.

“You just don’t want me to destroy anything.”

“Yeah, Joshua was a little afraid you might.”

I looked at my daughter, a little helpless baby, it was hard to image that anyone would hate such a precious baby. Yet, David had pretty much admitted that he had hated me from the moment I was born.

“Is the viewing almost over?”

“Yes. A lot of the extended friends and family have already gone. It’s mostly close individuals. I think there is 30 minutes left.”

“Viewing was two to five.”

When she finished eating I held her for a little bit, Zac went and found a brother that could get away, returning with Aaron and Christopher.

“You only needed one.”

“Please, it gets us away from the accusing eyes and stares.” Aaron said.

“Besides, we’d much rather hang out with these two and our brothers than anyone else here.” Christopher said.

“She’s been held for a long time, she needs to stretch and lock the door when we leave.”

They settled in the floor and after a bit they laid her on the blanket and with two of her uncles and a gun-toting aunt I felt safe leaving her here.  Eliza did lock the door behind us and we walked downstairs. The main room still had uncles and aunts milling about and a few cousins. I was headed to the room when Marcus grabbed my arm roughly.

“You have no right Emily.”

It was Zac who removed his hand. “You have no right putting your hands on my wife for any reason, don’t do it again. She has every right to say her goodbyes to him like you and everyone else here.”

“She’s not even his child and she’s the reason he was in jail.”

I ignored him and took another two steps before Aunt Mary stepped in my way. They were hell bent on not letting me through and I was trying my best to be calm and collected and not cause a scene.

“He is right. You aren’t his daughter and you don’t have a reason to be here.”

“Funny, I was his daughter for 26 years according to everyone here, including him. He raised me, changed diapers, fed me, and clothed me.”

She just shook her head, where the hell was my brothers anyway? Zac was still beside me so he’d keep me from being stupid.

“It doesn’t matter Emily.”

“It matters to me.”

“Why don’t you just take your bastard ass child and get the fuck out of here? You don’t fucking belong here.” Marcus said.

It took a moment to process that he’d just called my child a bastard, same thing that David had said. I was sure Zac’s tugging on my arm was to get me the hell out of that room but no, that wasn’t happening. The sound of my hand connecting to his face seemed to echo in the room.

“Don’t you ever fucking talk about my children like that! You have no right to say a goddamn thing about them because you’ve never even seen them!”

“I saw your son who will probably end up like his uncles. Queer as fuck.”

Zac’s grip tightened and I looked at him, almost daring him to try anything.

“I really wouldn’t care who my son falls in love with, I can handle it unlike David. I won’t turn my back on my children. I won’t allow some sadistic rapist to be near them.”

“Adam was not like that!” Mary said.

I snorted. “You didn’t know him Mary, how could you possibly say that? Oh, you knew what David told you about him. Not a strong case considering David was just as bad if not worse than him.”

“You take that back!” She said.

George seemed to materialize from nowhere. “Hey, what’s going on?”

“She needs to go George; she has no right to be here!”

“You had no right to call our children bastards either, but you did.” Zac said.

As pissed off as I was the look on George’s face honestly really scared me.

“Emily why don’t you two go on, the room is empty.”

“NO. She is not his child George.”

“Today is not the place to have this discussion. I told you she would be here and I told you all not to make a scene. I am in charge of this and I don’t want to prevent anyone from being able to pay their respects. But Uncle Marcus you have crossed the line because Emily’s children are part of my family and you will not ever say a word about them again if you ever want to see mine again. Emily, please go on.”

Zac placed his hand on my back and eased me forward and I followed, clearly George was not pleased. Zac lead me to the door where Joshua
and Jason were. They opened the door again and we walked through.

“He can’t hurt you Emily.” Joshua said.

Zac walked with me and even when I hesitated there was a gentle nudge and before long I was standing beside the casket looking down at the man that raised me and then tore everything apart. I found myself staring at his chest, which wasn’t moving. He was still and pale.

“Joshua do you know exactly what happen to him?”

“No, George should be in here soon. I didn’t want to know.”

I stood there until George was there and only then did the other two leave but Zac remained by my side and I asked him the same question.

“The attacker used a homemade shank, he stabbed him multiple times in the chest and abdomen but the fatal stab was to the neck and it cut the artery. By the time the police officers made in into the room and got the attacker out, he was already gone.”

Neither of them stopped me when I reached out and touched his hand, it was devoid of any warmth, totally cold. He was truly dead and there was no way he could command anyone to come after me or tell Glen what to do with me, not that it mattered Glen would anyway.

“Can you have Joshua and Jason go sit with them and let Eliza in? She doesn’t know him but she deserves to say goodbye anyway.”

He nodded and stepped out. Zac wiped my face off and waited, it wasn’t long before she was standing beside me.

“I didn’t need to be here.”

“I wanted you here because we can’t be naive Eliza, it’s very possible that you could have been born last and everything he did to me could have been to you. You need to be able to say your goodbyes as well.”

“Sometimes when I see you this way, I wish I had been the youngest.”

We stood there in complete silence for fifteen minutes before I finally turned, but fate wasn’t going to be kind to me as the person standing just outside the door was Adam and Glen’s mother. I’d seen her only a handful of times over the years but the eyes were all I needed to see.

“Emily.”

“Mrs. Campbell.”

It was tense for several moments before she just pulled me in for a hug, I froze not expecting that at all!

“I’m sorry Emily; I wish I could have done more to protect not just you but all of them.”

“It’s ok, you didn’t know. Did you?”

She let me go and looked at me. “I had a suspicion that he wasn’t visiting David’s house solely for the boys, but I didn’t expect that it was because of you. David said that you shot him and that your husband was responsible for Adam. I don’t blame either of you.”

“What about your other son? Glen.”

She looked totally shocked and it was clear she hadn’t known I knew about him.

“Yeah. He’s coming after me too. I need to go now. Take care.”

I went up-stairs and found a fussy daughter who stopped the moment she was handed to me. I covered her up and we all went downstairs and
out the back, despite the fact I passed Marcus and Mary I ignored them both and went straight to the truck. Eliza and Zac were right behind me.

“Jason’s?” Zac asked.

“Yeah.”

The drive to his house was quiet and once there I called Casey to check on Alexander and talk to him. It also calmed me down to the point I could actually not feel like killing someone. Jason and Nadine got home about 8.

“George wondered where you went.”

“I had to get out of there.”

He nodded and sat down. “Don’t worry about them Emily.”

I looked at him. “Who said I was worried about them? There not my family and after calling my kids bastards they never will be.”

“Are you coming tomorrow?”

“No. I’m done. I have done what I needed to.”

He nodded and left the room. I laid Isabella down about 8:45, she’d been fed and changed and was almost asleep when I laid her down. I found Eliza on the front porch nursing a beer and I sat down beside her.

“You want to know something sis?” she asked.

“What?”

“I’ve had times where I felt weird emotions, uncommon for me to feel happy when I wasn’t. Right now what I am feeling is this desire to attack something.”

“Welcome to being twins, sorry my emotions are fucking with you.” I teased.

She giggled. “It’s ok really.”

She handed me an unopened non-alcoholic beer and smiled and I took it from her and opened it, it was slightly warm but tolerable.

“It’s no Mmmhops but it works.” I said.

“Yeah.”

It remained quiet as we finished the drinks.

“I always wondered what having siblings would be like. Would we be close, would we fight, would we be normal? I then find I have not one but six and five are men, I always wanted sisters seems so much easier. Yet, we’ve gone through the fighting; I think we made up for the 30 years we missed in a few months. Normal is non-existent in your life. I feel like we’re close but not quite there yet. I always thought having siblings was this awesome thing filled with happy go lucky crap.”

“Oh yeah you have this sunshine and roses attitude about you. Everything was so positive, sorry sis that was your nickname sunshine and roses.”

She laughed. “Way to ruin my special moment. I was trying to be all serious and say that today was hard, because while I may not fully understand why you feel this way, I could see it. Being told what he did was bad, but seeing that even years later you’re still affected by it, that’s harder.”

I sat there a moment. “Never got easier really and I had the ability before 2010 to just excuse his behavior. When he showed up at that house I was certain he was there to help me, save me. I felt so stupid and then he kept telling me how horrible Mom was. When he raped me I didn’t have any excuses left.”

“I can’t imagine how that felt.”

I looked at her and felt the tears. “I was glad Zac was there, not sure I would bother to live if he wasn’t. It was seeing him that second time that reminded me that I had someone who loved me, being held as he waited on the ambulance let me know he’d always love me. It’s what Ian doesn’t understand. I don’t have to do anything to win Zac over; I just have to be there.”

“I have a question, hypothetical and all.”

“Will I need more beer for this?”

“Maybe.”

Two were presented by Zac , one non-alcoholic, who then went inside. “Perceptive man.”

I giggled and opened it, drank half at once. “Hit me with your question.”

“Assume that they never called Zac, never lured him there. Would you have made any effort to leave?”

It was a question that really was hard to answer and I finished the beer before I bothered to answer.

“I want to say that I would have broken when he raped me and that would be it, I’d just be there forever.”

“But?” She asked.

I looked at her and smiled some. “I would have always wanted to be home so I believe that I would have done what I had to do get him to trust me, get him to believe he’d won…and then I would have killed him myself. I would have gone home then.”

She smiled. “Something happens and we can’t stop them, I want you to remember that answer. It’s been a long day and I think what you need is to go curl up with your husband.”

“That sounds like an excellent plan.”

I had just stood up when the text came in, assuming it was Zac I looked at it.

Black suits you well. I see you attended your “fathers” viewing. It was quite intriguing that you’d attend. It’s sad that he is gone but its ok, he left instructions to make sure you paid for everything you’ve ever done. That includes his death…

I re-read it once before hitting reply.

Too bad Ian will never allow you to do anything, it might compromise his plans. It must really suck to be his little bitch. From what I heard, you like being his little bitch…

Eliza saw the messages and laughed and we went inside. I changed into bed clothes and after showing him the messages I did exactly what she suggested. I curled up beside him and went to sleep.


*Emily's Dress*