Infinity Chapter 121 - Birthday Girl

[itztigress3]

Chapter 121 –  Birthday Girl
POV:  Emily / Zac
Word count: 4001

July 16, 2015; Thursday

 I had been awake since three from another nightmare, see a therapist they said, it’ll help you they said. They can kiss my ass. Sure, Doctor Lints was a nice person and I found talking to her to be rather easy. But, now instead of it just being Glen, it was everyone. I hadn’t even kept my last appointment with her because I was so tired and really, how many more times did I need to repeat that David had basically beaten me my entire fucking childhood? I had cleaned up but I knew better than to cook breakfast today, every year Zac took pride in getting up and fixing me breakfast on my birthday. 32 years, it didn’t sound bad at all. At 5:30 Zac came down and eyed me.

“I was going to be all sweet and make you breakfast in bed, but your kind of not there.”

“I’ve been awake since three. Figured one of us needed sleep to drive.”

He frowned. “Nightmare again?”

I nodded. “We can add to the onslaught because this time I never made it out of the house. I was dead before I was 16.”

“Don’t you have another appointment Friday?”

“Yeah.”

“Maybe I should go with you, let Taylor and Isaac keep the kids at the studio.”

“I’m not going anyway, I just don’t feel like it and Eliza is insisting we go out Saturday.”

He raised his brow. “What do you mean by out?”

“Like to a club or something. She planned it not me but I’m not sure I really will go.”

He went to the kitchen and began to make breakfast, he didn’t seem thrilled with the idea of us going out so I got up and walked to the kitchen sitting on the stool at the counter.

“Is there an issue with that idea?”

“Not sure you should be out really, you’re not a partying girl.”

“I could have been.”

“But you’re not Emily.”

“I’m not staying long either way. Let’s face it, maybe it will wear me the fuck out and I can sleep.”

He didn’t seem to keen on the idea still and since he was fixing breakfast, I got up and went up-stairs. I felt like staying would only lead to an argument and I didn’t want that right now. I didn’t want to argue or fight. We had moved Isabella to her room and it hadn’t done much to help me, but I knew it was important for her to know and be able to sleep in there. Alexander was still asleep when I passed his room but Isabella was standing up in her crib, bouncing and I got her out.

“Happy First Birthday!”

She was one. My god, my baby was one! She was much better about letting me out of her sight and Doctor Lints had said she and Alexander were fine, hell even Zac was normal in her opinion. But she had no comments for me, apparently descriptions of my nightmares were disturbing at best and extremely troubling at worst.

I took her to the changing table and changed her for the day. Originally we had no plans, but Taylor couldn’t come take her birthday pictures and Maddi wanted too. We were taking the day off so we decided we’d just go to Maysville and let Maddi take them at the studio. We would come back by and see Dad and Nate and then stay there for the night. By the time Isabella was dressed for the day, Alexander was standing beside me. So, we went down to his room and got him changed and dressed for the day as well. Zac had packed our bags for the night and had them in the car already. We were having a party Saturday for Isabella, so everyone would be here then, but we were just finishing breakfast when the doorbell rang.

“Expecting anyone?” Zac asked.

“Nope, but I about bet it’s Craig and Christopher.”

I answered and it was them, holding balloons and wrapped boxes and I assumed they couldn’t wait to give her their gifts. I let them inside the house and closed the door behind them.

“The princess is at the table still eating her eggs and grits.”

“The queen however is right here. Happy Birthday Emily.” Christopher said.

He then thrust a box into my hands wrapped in shimmering blue paper with a bright white ribbons. I was confused at first but then he urged me to open it. I tore the paper off and opened the box inside, finding a North Side jacket, solid black with the tour logo on one side and my name on the other side. Mrs. Emily Hanson, but he insisted I look at the back where they had put “Da Boss” in bright white letters.

“Well, least it’s not a lie.”

“In case anyone is confused on who the boss is.” Christopher said.

Zac wasn’t too shocked by that gift and I had a hunch that the idea came from him because they were having identical jackets fixed with the tour logo’s for this tour. Craig was the next one to shove a box into my hands.

“Happy Birthday Emily.”

I smiled at him as I began to tear the paper off the box and then use my sharpest nail to cut the tape. Inside the box was a binder with the tour’s logo across the front, he had me open the zipped binder and inside were the dividers I needed and each one had something drawn on it, some were just random like flowers but some were memories we shared, like the school with two silhouettes in front holding hands, each one was dated and signed and the tabs were in the correct order as well.

“You had time to do this?”

“I’d always make time for you Emily. I only have one best friend after all.”

“Not true, you have many.”

He hugged me. “Only one I’d ever hold hands with as I went back to school or done other things with.”

“So wrong.”

“Do you like it?”

“I love it and I haven’t even started my normal binder for this tour so, perfect timing.”

“A little birdy told us that much.”

“Little birdy said more about that jacket too.”

“Chirp chirp.” Zac said and smiled.

Apparently the balloons were mine too and the very touching card thanking me and with the website of the only online ministry school that Oklahoma recognized and would accept along with everything I needed to be certified.

“You guys are really desperate aren’t you?”

“Maybe…” Craig said.

They went to the kitchen and showered Isabella and Alexander in hugs and kisses.

“Where is Jasmine?”

“Eliza asked to keep her last night, we let her.”

I nearly dropped everything in my hands, one of those reoccurring dreams was her being taken from Eliza.

“Have you talked to her this morning?”

“Yeah, in fact she was at the daycare center with her when I called. She’s fine Emily.” Christopher said.

“Ems?” Craig asked.

“It’s nothing. Thank you for these, I’m sure the jacket will come in handy because it is colder in October. The binder will be my lifeline
for the month of October.”

Christopher bought it, hook, line and sinker. Craig however kept his eyes on me and I knew he wasn’t really buying that the it was nothing excuse.

“Emily, what is it? You nearly dropped everything. Was there something we weren’t told about her?”

“No. It’s fine.”

It really was, because I couldn’t blame them for letting their sister watch her niece, I was pretty sure that Eliza would in fact be fine and take care of her properly, she wasn’t completely baby stupid anymore.

“She had nightmares of Jasmine being taken from Eliza and killed, several of them actually.”

“But she told us the nightmares were over.” Christopher said.

Zac didn’t say anything else and I just looked at him and Christopher turned to me.

“Therapy was a bad idea, I tried to tell everyone that but no you kept insisting it would be good. Congratulations, I’m still up by three and now there much worse. Least I have stopped waking up in the middle of a panic attack where I can’t breathe. I’m done talking
about that. Now, we have left over’s if you’re hungry.”

“No, we ate before we came over.” Craig said.

She nursed after finishing but I could tell she was pulling away some, she wouldn’t nurse every three hour and now with way more solids it was more like twice a day sometimes three. They stayed until we left for Maysville, which was about 9. We went right to the studio where she told us to come. I slept most of the way, thanks to Zac’s humming and the truck’s normal little sounds. We stopped for lunch before heading to the studio, getting there about 1. Maddi was waiting and the studio was empty and clean.

I was shocked she looked like pre-baby Maddi. She gave the kids hugs and kisses and happy birthday wishes to Isabella.

“Happy Birthday Emily.”

She presented me with a small wrapped box and I opened it. Inside was a pen set, matching the binder I had just gotten this morning.

“Chirp chirp Zac again?”

He simply smiled and Maddi giggled. “Cody has the children at home, so I am all yours for these pictures and no one is coming in today.”

“I’ll try to be good this time Maddi.” Zac said.

“You better smile, otherwise I may send Declan and Dakota home with you.”

“Not much of a threat there Mad’s.” He said.

She went with the normal family pictures first, getting good shots of us together and with them, and the famous sibling pictures. This way their clothes were clean for the main pictures.

“How are you physically Ems?”

“Healed, why?”

“Can you lie down and get them to climb all over you.”

“Sure…” I said.

I laid down and it really took little encouragement to get them to climb on and over and around me. Zac eventually joined us on the floor and I was sure they would come out good. I changed Isabella after that and put the cute little onesie on her. It had the number 1 on the front with a pink and purple tutu. Zac changed Alexander into a onesie also, because we knew he’d want to play in the cake as well. So, once she got several dozed of Isabella covered in icing and cake, we sent Alexander in to help.

“It’s your birthday too.” Maddi said.

I started to speak but Zac just put his hand over my mouth. “You have an extra suit in the bag for today.”

This was feeling like some set up, but what the hell. How often would I get to play with my children and have a mini food fight too? I got down with them and it didn’t take long to be covered in cake and icing because they were covered and climbing all over me. All the while, Maddi was snapping pictures. By the time the cake was beyond help it was close to three. The kids and I were covered in cake and icing, but the smiles they had were amazing and I was sure for a few hours I’d forgotten everything. I went ahead and stripped them down and sent them to Daddy.

“There is a shower here for this purpose, why don’t you and the kids hop in?” Maddi asked.

“A shower in a photography studio?”

“What? I like getting everyone involved in these types of sessions. They need to leave clean most the times.”

I rolled my eyes and the three of us went to shower. Zac came with me so that once the kids were clean he could dry and re-dress them. I got Alexander clean first, making sure the cake and icing was out of his hair before I sent him to Zac who was waiting with a towel and clean clothes. Isabella was next but even after getting the icing out of her blonde curly hair and off her I let her stay with me so Zac only had one. She liked being in the shower and playing in the water. He sent Alexander out to play and then got her out, while I got the icing out of my own hair. By the time I got out he had her dressed but had her sitting in his lap brushing her hair.

“I assume we’re not cutting hers either?”

“Trim, I will cut her bangs.”

“You want it left down?”

“Yep.”

I got dried off and dressed and when we were both dressed we went out where I saw Eliza talking to Maddi with Alexander playing by Maddi. Eliza was wearing the exact same thing I was wearing. I slowly turned to Zac.

“What the hell is this?”

He gave me his trademark smile. “People have asked me for good pictures of you two, I figured what better way to do that? I knew we were coming down and I just invited her down too and she can go by Ace’s with us. Added, these will be the first time you two have taken pictures together on your birthday as last year you were a little preoccupied.”

I looked down at Isabella with her curly blonde hair and grey eyes. “I’d say I was preoccupied. Fine.”

Eliza smiled and leaned down, Isabella ran to her. She said happy birthday to Isabella and then we got down to business. The picture that Ace had of us taken the day we were born Maddi had restored for him. She wanted to re-create the picture as best she could, obviously we didn’t have the same clothes we had then but she laid us down and took the picture from above. She printed that one out right then when she was satisfied saying she wanted us to take it to him. She even printed copies for Eliza and I.

It was around 5 when we got done, the kids were getting cranky and I was too. So, she downloaded the thousands of pictures and wrote them to a disc for us before we locked up and headed to her house. I was tired and kind of wanted a nap, but we did promise to come see Declan and Dakota, they were now a month and a half. I called Ace and told him we’d be later than planned and he said that was fine.

Zac sent Isabella and Alexander with Maddi when we arrived but he kept us at the truck wanting to make sure that we had diapers for them. I was wondering what his motive was here because he knew their diaper bags had plenty. It wasn’t until Maddi called our names that he relented and we went to the house. Eliza and I both jumped at least half a foot when we entered the house, because lots of people screamed surprise. I blinked, her house was huge and I was glad she had a large deck and yard. I stood here stunned though.

“Baby?” Zac asked.

“I had no idea…how did you…I don’t…”

“Maddi did a lot of the planning, said you needed something positive and since Isabella’s was this weekend tonight is about you and Eliza.”

“I don’t..”

He kissed me. “It’s fine.”

They had thrown me a birthday party again, without even telling me. I began to make my way through the crowd finding our brothers and families were here, Zac’s brother’s were here with their families, Amanda and Sean were here, along with Samantha who I hadn’t seen in forever, Henry and even Angela who I hadn’t seen in over a year. They got to see Isabella who was staying pretty much right with me.

I greeted them, talked a bit and moved on making my way to the porch where Taylor stood there in an apron with a spatula in one hand and Mmmhops in the other hand, Cody was keeping him company. I eased over and saw the shrimp and knew it wasn’t near enough to everyone.

“Those better have Emily Hanson on them.”

He smiled at me. “You know they do, just like this pretty Salmon has Eliza’s name written all over it.” He said.

“Oh wait! Make that Queen Emily because you know little princesses belong to Queens.”

Taylor nearly dropped the spatula. “Who the hell said that?”

“Craig and Christopher!”

“I am making a special note, no food for them!”

“Funny.” I giggled.

I moved around the mass of people pretty easily but I found myself seeking out Alexander and always knowing where they were. It was about 6:30 when we sat down to eat, I was getting tired and kind of wanted to just leave but this was my birthday party and Maddi looked quite proud of herself for pulling it off. I heard one of them cry and knew it was feeding time so I finished eating and got up and went down to the bedroom, quietness. I knocked.

“Mad’s, it’s me.”

“Come in.”

I stepped in and she was trying to adjust them so I assisted and then sat down on the bed.

“Needed quiet time?”

“Kind of and you know I came down to see them and haven’t gotten to.”

“Sorry, I couldn’t very well tell you everyone would be here.”

“I know.”

We talked while they ate but they were almost done when I heard the screaming and that terrified me. I barely said a word before I was out of the bedroom and in the living room, Zac was holding Isabella who was the one screaming and he met me half way and she fell over into my arms.

“What the hell happened?”

“Calm down Ems, she was coming inside with the older kids and fell. She’s ok.”

I just walked away because I could feel that I wanted to explode and here just wasn’t the right place and really, it was just because I was tired. I took her to the spare room and closed the door, hoping that would signal for everyone to leave me alone. I sat down on the bed and checked her over, no blood, no marks and odds are it just scared her more than anything. She cuddled with me and I was fine with that. It was about 20 minutes before the door opened, I expected Zac but it was Ace instead.

“Is my the little princess ok?”

“Yeah, she’s fine.”

He closed the door and came to sit beside me. “I wasn’t talking about Isabella. I was talking about you.”

“I’m fine.”

He kept quiet but I could see it in his eyes, he didn’t believe any of that and he knew I knew that as well. When she wiggled I let her down and even let her back out into the party, where I should be.

“If you were fine then you wouldn’t have looked so terrified when you ran in. You wouldn’t look so tired.”

“I just worry she’ll be taken from me, like there is just someone waiting around the corner to come take their place. I thought Paul was it, then came David and Adam, then came Ian, and then Glen. I don’t know how extensive it went. For all I know David has people lined up to ensure that Zac and I suffer until we’re both dead.”

He pulled me close to him. “It’s understandable to feel that way Emily it’s been a rough five years but I don’t think David was that smart to have people lined up. He never struck me as the very intelligent type.”

“But Glen and Adam were.”

“I doubt they cared that much sweetie. They just wanted to hurt you. Glen saw the chance when Ian went after Zac.”

“Therapist has to think I’m beyond help.”

“Therapist?” he asked.

“Started seeing her beginning of the month after that first night panic attack. Not helping. Nightmares are even worse than before and I don’t know why they won’t stop.”

He tightened his grip. “What is your therapist saying?”

“She just wants me to talk about the past.”

I felt his lips brush my temple. “I’m no expert when it comes to minds but perhaps the past isn’t what you need to talk about. When we met you were fine, it’s more recent events.”

“She insisted.”

“Then take charge and remind her that your ok with that. You don’t need to relive those beatings or school bullies. You need to get over what they did more recently.”

“I doubt I’ll go back.”

“I think you should maybe let Zac talk to her first he knows you well and knows what you have and haven’t gotten over.”

“Yeah. I can’t just stay in here can I?”

“Sadly, no. It’s your party.”

I looked at him. “Happy Birthday to you as well. It could be your party too.”

“I’m content. But there is something I want to tell you and I should invite Eliza but you’re my baby still, even though she’s here you are still the baby.”

“I can’t ever get away from that and nothing changes that.”

“Nathaniel and I talked and we’ve decided that we’re going to get married. We’ve both proposed over the years and while we’re truly happy it would be better because we realize we’re not that young anymore.”

“I wondered if you would.”

“I know it’s a bit short but we want to do Christmas Day.”

I blinked. “Christmas?”

“It means something to us and it’s our anniversary anyway.”

“It is?”

He smiled. “Yes. We were both stuck at the airport in Italy on Christmas. I was wishing I could be with you and your brothers and he was just lonely. We got to talking and never stopped. I moved out because my job allowed me to move around at the time.”

“I think it would be great to have that day.”

He smiled. “Mind if we use your house for that event?”

He was clearly joking but I smiled and giggled at him.

“I don’t mind at all, do you want me to officiate it as well? Apparently I am for Craig and Christopher.”

He smiled. “No. We’ve got that covered already and we are not doing anything huge. Our parents have passed on and aside from your aunt and the children we don’t have much family.”

“Is she going to come?”

“Yes. She also wants to see the kids again.”

“It’s been a while since we’ve seen her.”

“Ok kiddo, let’s get back to the party.”

We returned and in time for cake and ice cream! The cake was huge and Maddi had included Ace’s name on the cake as well. It was really good and the presents were too. I got a lot of clothes and gift cards same with Eliza. Ace loved the comparison photo and most of us had brought him something as well.

We were very late getting to their house, Zac and I carried the kids inside and laid them down and I was praying that as tired as I was, I’d sleep good. Yet that made it worse because I didn’t want to wake up, Zac had too wake me up. It sucked beyond anything else.

We did throw Isabella’s birthday party Saturday, a princess themed party for her was perfect. She dove into the cake and loved it and a lot of her gifts were things we could take with us on tour as well, which was great. We got a lot of movies and DVD’s that were more for them both. She also got winter clothes. It was nice to be around family again, even Maddi came up and between her and Taylor there was plenty of pictures. Her party was a great success even if I hadn’t slept much.