Devastation (Petal 2) Chapter 43 - Confessions

[itztigress3]

Chapter 43: Confessions
POV:  Gabby
Word Count:  5008

October 15, 2008

    We’d arrived in Baltimore early but had to wait for a bit before we could begin setting up. Not that it mattered, the boys left at 6 am for a television interview and then I think two radio shows but I wasn’t sure. Because I was awake I was sitting at the table in the front just sketching, the image was Zac, it was one no one would be able to see. I rather wish I could drag him away and just tell the others to deal with their show without him.

Carrick came through about 10, sleepy and I moved the clean sheet of paper up, covering most of the lower half.

“Dear god, are you drawing naked Zac again?”

“Maybe.”

He got a bottle of water and sat down. “Been that long?”

“Monday before we left…it’s been too long.”

He fiddled with the lid of the bottle and by his expression I knew there was something on his mind.

“What’s up?”

“It’s none of my business but you and Sierra, I know your friends and I know that you have a past. But, there’s nothing going
on between you two now right?”

“No. She knows I’m married and I know it too. I have a reminder.”

He smiled. “Best remember that. I’m going to figure out breakfast.”

“I boiled some eggs earlier, wasn’t real hungry so I had three left.”

“How many did you fix?”

“Six. The package was going out of date and I knew eventually they’d be eaten.”

He smiled and grabbed them and as the bus woke up I put the tablet away. We got busy when we could but Abby kept
sending me messages all morning, she was bored and wanted to talk. It made unloading feel slow even though we were right on time. Once everything was inside it was setting it up, we took a quick lunch break and then tested the items. It took forever because nothing seemed to work. But, finally the sound was fixed. It was close to 1:30 already and I knew the guys were eating on the way back. My phone was in the 20% range though and that wouldn’t last.

“Hey guys, I’m going out to get my charger and maybe a change of clothes.”

“Okay.” Carrick called.

Sierra and Andrew echoed the same thing so I headed outside but Austin caught up.

“I’ll walk you out.”

“So sweet, I should be fine though.”

“Zac will stomp our butts if something happens to you, besides I need to get my bag anyway.”

We stepped outside and shivered some, the weather was warm but storms were coming in quickly. We were due up for some later tonight according to the weather, but as I got close to the bus I noticed a girl standing there. It oddly looked like Sierra was standing there, the same dark hair with blue coloring the same dark clothes but it wasn’t Sierra.

“Tera?” I asked.

“Hey! There you are. I was about to text you and say I was here.”

“Do you know her?” Austin asked.

“Yeah, she’s a friend. Tera this is Austin, this is Tera.”

She briefly said hi to him and he said hi to her, but that was the extent of their conversation. Austin seemed uncertain about her.

“What are you doing here?”

“I came to talk to you, was hoping that maybe we can talk?”

“There’s not much to talk about Tera, I know what you did.”

“I’d like to talk about that and other things, please Skye just give me an hour.”

“You could sit here on the bus, it’s private.” Austin said.

I nodded and we got on, he got his bag and headed inside and I lead her to the rear lounge where it would be private, I pulled the door too but didn’t lock it. There was no need to lock the door.

“What do you want? Why did you dye your hair?”

“Can you at least sit down?”

I humored her and sat down, leaving space between us and she turned to me.

“Look, Heather yelled at me for hours because I gave Zac the pills. I shouldn’t have without telling him what they were and what he was taking.”

“Then why did you? You knew he doesn’t do that shit, but you gave him ecstasy and didn’t even tell him or I. What if we had left Tera? He could have killed us both. You had no idea how he would react to that. It was a stupid and immature thing to do.”

She fiddled with the tail of her shirt. “I thought if he got high he would be more willing to follow Emily, the blonde you sent away. I was hoping that you’d see him and leave again. I didn’t know you were right there and I didn’t know that sending her away would turn his attention to you. After you got in his lap he didn’t see a damn soul after that. Just you.”

“I’m his wife Tera, why the fuck would you try to get him to go with someone else?”

“Because I love you! Fuck Skye I’ve loved you since the first time we were together. Why do you think I kept coming back? But when you met Sierra that was it, that’s all you saw. You didn’t see any fucking body else but her. I figured if I looked like her you’d see me but you didn’t. I thought for sure when you came to me you were coming to me, but then you just left with some guy. Damn Skye you came to me when he fucked up and you still went back.”

I blinked, that was totally new information to me. She’d never even given me any indication that she liked me, let alone more. Tera had never been a committed relationship type person, none of her boy or girlfriends lasted long even before she met me.

“Why would you think that would be okay though? Tera I…I told you when I came the first time. I didn’t…”

“I know but I hoped that you would see, that you’d see how much I cared about you and you’d see. I thought when you showed up you’d realized it. I never expected you to fucking get married to some guy.”

“Tera I came to you because you don’t ask questions, you don’t pressure me to talk about anything. You’re a great friend in that sense but I don’t…I never meant to lead you on if that’s what I did.”

“You never did I was just hoping that one day you’d realize that I love you. I want to be the person you come home too, the person you draw naked, the person you call all the time. I told Sierra to leave when she showed up, because I knew if you saw her you would leave with her. I didn’t want you to leave Skye, I wanted you to stay.”

“Why now? Why the fuck are you doing this now? You can’t love me, you’ve had multiple relationships, you never came after me when I left. You didn’t even stop me when I was clearly overdosing on cocaine.”

“I was hoping the drugs would make you see. I didn’t because you left in the middle of the night Skye, I didn’t even know you were gone and I was just as high as you.”

I rubbed my temples because this was fucking insane, there was no way she loved me like that, it wasn’t possible. She’s be the least likely person because we had sex twice and both times Newton was with us and after when we were it wasn’t the same feeling.

“Skye?”

“I’m sorry Tera, I don’t love you. I’m married to Zac and I want that to work.”

“He doesn’t love you Skye! He accepted cards from women he’s bound to have gone to at least one. Come on.”

“He didn’t when you sent that girl to him. He wouldn’t have gone with her, even if I wasn’t there.”

“Yeah, I know. I got to watch him basically finger fuck you in the pool, it should have been me there. Neither of you even
fucking noticed me on the deck, he want to fuck you right there and you didn’t even notice. Fuck my room was below you two, it’s all I fucking heard. I was trying to make you see he’s not right for you. Sierra is no better, she fucking left you here and went off to California. If she loved you as much as she fucking claimed then she would have found a way.”

“Like you? You wait until I’ve been married almost a year then you want to just drop in and tell me? What the hell Tera? This is not funny. You tried to set him up with drugs which could have seriously hurt him or caused us both to be hurt, you then get pissed because he doesn’t fuck someone else instead it’s me, which is who he’s supposed to be fucking. I don’t understand what you’re doing here at all. Why not wait until I’m home? Why here? Why now?”

“I couldn’t keep waiting on you to finally realize you love me. I just couldn’t.”

“I don’t love you Tera. I never have.”

“Why not? I’ve done everything I could. I was there any fucking time you needed someone, I was there to wipe away the tears that they fucking caused you to cry. How many times did you cry because that bitch left you? How long because he was fucking some bitch in New York while you were in the hospital?”

“You never stayed either. You left the band after the first tour Tera, you sent Sierra away without even asking me, you just took over. You nearly let me die Tera, that’s not love. So, what are you doing here?”

My phone beeped but I didn’t bother to check it, I was still trying to digest this information from Tera. She looked sincere but she’d had more than enough time and chances to tell me and she hadn’t. She had years and she hadn’t hunted me down before.

“Skye.”

“I’m sorry Tera. I just don’t feel that way about you. I love Zac and I want to be with him. He’s what I’ve always wanted and I’m not going to screw that up.”

Her head kind of lowered and she slid over next to me. “Please, Skye. You have to.”

“I’m sorry.”

She sat there a long moment, I was about to get up and say we were done, there was nothing else for us to discuss. I wasn’t leaving Zac for her. She sniffled and I turned to her and then she lunged, I narrowly missed cracking my head open on the back wall, my hands got pinned by her breast, and before I had time to stop her lips were on mine and the same bubble gum flavor they always had. I heard the door start to open and even the distinct sound of it hitting the frame.

“Gabby I…” Zac’s voice filtered through my brain.

I saw him and that look before he just turned and walked out, I pushed Tera away and fell off the sofa. That look was probably the same one he had when he caught Priscilla. There was no way I was going to let him just walk away!

“Zac, wait.”

I heard the bus door slam shut that wasn’t good, shit. Tera followed me off the bus but stalled me just outside the door, before I could get too far.

“STOP! I’ve done told you I don’t love you. Just go, you’ve done enough.”

The bus door closed and I ran across the space, who cares if Damien was there, I had to catch him I had to explain. It took three swipes of my key card to get inside and I finally caught up with him in the hallway.

“Zac stop!”

I got his hand and that turned him to me, that look hurt like hell. I could see the pain in his face, which was not always so evident. He was really hurting. I wasn’t stupid it was a repeat of his worst time.

“It’s not what you think Zac.”

“Really? Sierra was just shoving her tongue down your throat to what? Save you? I should have known every fucking sign was there, the sitting in her lap, being with her all the time, the times she’s at the drums with you. Every sign was there and I ignored them because I was a stupid idiot that believed you loved me.”

“Sierra? That wasn’t her, that was Tera. She came to tell me how she loved me and I told her I wanted to be with you.”

“Don’t lie to me now Gabriella, that’s just like being slapped again. It doesn’t excuse the fact that her tongue was down your throat.”

“She kissed me! I didn’t ask her too! Come on you know me.”

“I thought I knew you, but clearly I didn’t. I’ll cancel the venue it’s clear you don’t want to be married to me. It’s clear you’d rather be with Sierra than anyone else. I was going to ask you Friday but I don’t guess I need too.”

“Zac that’s not…”

He pulled his hand out of mine and started to walk away.

“No. Don’t do this, I’m sorry it’s not what you think. I don’t want either of them, I want you. Just you. Please, Zachary just listen to me, please don’t walk away from me.”

He didn’t even stop, just kept walking toward the front and left me standing there in the hallway. All the walls I built up just crumbled into dust. It felt like the world imploded and was crushing me. All I could remember was waking up to be left alone, seeing Max walk away and now he was too and yet somehow the sharp pain was so much worse this time.

“Gabby?” Andrew asked.

I could barely see him through the haze of tears, he’d just walked away and he was canceling the venue so he wasn’t going to even listen to me. The one thing I feared he’d do, he’d done.

“Hey, are you okay?”

“I’m going to the bus.”

I turned and walked to the back door, god that stinging was worse and I was halfway to the bus before I realized that wasn’t going to do me any good. My chest was hurting so badly that being on that bus was going to be worthless. I would just remember everything.

He’d walked away and he wouldn’t even listen to me! I’d at least listened when he said the pictures were fake, listened when he told me the keys had been thrown away. I have one incident and he walks away? I just couldn’t, my feet carried me up the alleyway to the right, they would be walking the other direction so I turned left and just ran.

I ran as hard as I could and as fast as I could. I just ran in a straight line so if I felt like going back I could. I ran until my lungs burned and then I slowed some. I stopped to catch my breath for a moment, let the burning in my lungs replace the pain in my chest. It felt different, so much worse than it had with Max. Evidently Shawn had been right, Zac was real love.

“Poor little Gabriella, all alone in the big bad world.” She said.

I thought it was some bitch of a fan until I looked up. “Scarlet?”

“Oh, you do remember me! I wasn’t sure if you did. Gee you haven’t changed still the pathetic little child you were when we met.”

“Just leave me alone.”

She started to me and I stood up straighter. Scarlet had never done anything to help when Simon was doing things, she would just watch or leave the room. She hadn’t tried to protect me, to stop them, or report the abuse. She had given me no reason to ever trust her, that extended to this moment.

“You look like someone killed your kitten. Poor baby, you always were quite pathetic.”

I really didn’t want to deal with this, I’d just go back to the venue and hide somewhere. Maybe I could get him to listen to me after dinner and before the show. I turned to just head back to the venue and I took five steps before Damien seemed to appear from nowhere, he was wearing the same dark clothes he always did.

“Where are you going Gabby?”

Fuck, there wasn’t enough room to run either direction around him, so I ran across the street and started back toward the venue but he followed me and I was a few blocks away when someone stepped out in front of me, I ran all over him.

“You should watch where you run Gabs.”

I looked up at the guy in the nice clothes and found Ash looking at me. He’d always rooted him on, couldn’t imagine he’d be helping me now. I turned to run and Damien cut me off, so I ran north through a parking lot, turning left onto the street. I then just ran, I zigzagged through the streets trying to always stay on the same few so I could find my way back, I crossed through a budget rental place, then somehow ended up at some research building. Behind the building I found a good place and hide. I needed to slow my breathing down and my side was cramping just a bit. I could hear them still, but couldn’t see them. I got my phone and I called Zac but it immediately went to voicemail.

“No...answer the call please.”

I tried twice more and it kept going to voicemail, I tried Taylor and Isaac and theirs did too. I didn’t hear them so I stepped out and headed down toward the venue, same general direction, turning left on S. Greene and then right on Baltimore, I knew Baltimore ran near the venue. Yet it was Scarlet that showed up beside me just a block from the research place.

“Why are you running? We don’t want to hurt you.”

It wasn’t long before Ash was on the other side and I knew Damien was nearby, they diverted our direction and lead me back the way I had just came. Through the medical center area, where I’d hidden and then they lead me into a very small cemetery. Damien was near a tree, which provided shelter and coverage, even with people nearby it wasn’t apparent what he was doing. The cloudy skies didn’t help.

“I don’t know why you keep running, what have we ever done to make you fear us so much?”

I didn’t answer, I just wanted to get back. “What do you want?”

He moved to be right in front of me and with him that close I could see the silver teeth, that was not good for anyone. I’d known Damien had metal vampire teeth, he’d showed them to me many times and begged Simon to let him use them that one time. Simon refused because he didn’t want him to leave marks on me.

“The floppy disk that Simon put in your bag. He told me it was there, where is it? I saw you using the same bag.” His voice sounded off because of the teeth.

“I don’t have it.”

He laid his hands on my shoulders and I could feel the tips of his nails on my back, he’d intentionally put them under the straps of my sleeveless shirt.

“Do not lie to me Gabriella. You know I don’t like that.”

“I’m not lying, I don’t have it.”

His left hand moved down some, those nails scraping across my skin, I could feel the slight shiver course through my body. I felt when he dug them in on the back of my arm, could feel the warm blood begin to flow down my arm.

“Gabriella, those little punk ass thugs that broke in will pale in comparison to what I will do. Where is the disk Gabriella? You get one more chance.”

“I don’t have it, I found it but I gave it to two Detectives, they were working the case from November. I didn’t know what was on it.”

His left hand turned into my arm and that really hurt. “Did you look at it?”

“No.”

He tightened his hand around my arm, then moved me quickly against the tree, my back hit the trunk and that hurt. He was so close to me then, I could feel him against my body and I hated that. I hated the feeling of him that close to me. Hated his smell too.

“Don’t lie to me.”

“It had lists on it..but they were…they were codes.”

“Could you decode it?”

I shook my head but his nails dug in tighter. “Only half, it was dealers.”

He leaned down and I tried to move away but I was trapped here, I felt the cold metal slide across my neck.

“We’re our names on the list?”

“No…”

I felt the sharp points on the base of my neck then the sharp pain that caused me to scream, which he was quick to stop. The pain burned and seared on my neck.

“Simon wants you back home. Seeing as you won’t come on your own, guess you can come back with us.”

“I don’t want too.”

“He’s not really giving you the choice, Simon.” Scarlet said.

I wasn’t going back to him, I’d take Tera’s offer and live there before ever returning to Simon. It was a stupid decision but I kicked Damien as hard as I could and I ran, I cut across the middle of the cemetery, jumping the little small fence that lined the area, I didn’t even slow down as I ran across three lanes of traffic, paused briefly at the medium and then went across the next three. I went through a broken piece of fence which ripped my shirt and then I was in a subdivision.

I could hear them coming behind me, Scarlet screaming my name, I made a sharp left turn and ran for a few blocks, before making a right, which I subsequently ran one block and made another right, but my plan to double back failed because Damien was at the block so it was left I went, running past a church. I tried a few more times to double back, but one of them was always there. Most of the area was residential, so I finally found a place to duck into for a moment. It was some place behind a business, parking mostly but there was a good size fence and I hadn’t seen or heard them.  I tried my phone to see if I could reach someone but everyone was going to voicemail. I sent Sierra a text that begged her to answer the phone.

I could feel blood running down my back, down my chest. I used my right hand to feel and it was so much there, my hand was completely red. The wound couldn’t be that bad, it was just the running. My arm was bleeding too but I went ahead and ripped my shirt to tie around it. I took another piece and held it on my neck, hoping to stop the bleeding at least.

I tried GPS to see where I was but the battery was at 13% and it was being very slow so I stopped it, I exited and then I heard her voice.

“Skye! Are you here?”

I looked up because that was Tera’s voice! I put my phone away and peeked around the corner, she was standing at the end of the road, alone.

“Skye? Come on I know you’re around here somewhere. I’ve been following. We need to get back to the venue where it’s safe. Zac can protect you.”

I came out of my hiding spot she would get me back to the venue like she said. She maybe mad or whatever about me not loving her back but she would help me. She just said she would!

“Tera?” I asked.

She turned and smiled. “There you are.”

I was almost to her when Ash and Damien came around the corners, that made no sense but I slowed, confused.

“Come on Gabriella, it’s time to stop running.”

“Tera?” I asked.

“Just stop, go back to Simon where you belong. I’m sure Zac will move on, I mean really he thinks your with Sierra. I guess the hair color helped.” Tera said.

I didn’t have time to analyze her words, I had to get away so I just turned and ran like hell again, going right when I could and I ran. It was getting dark so that was a good thing for me, I tried to actually go down darker roads, making acute turns and even doubling around if I had too. I passed another park and kept running, I could hear Damien behind me. I made a few more sharp turns and found myself at a bridge that crossed over a railroad and a river, couple hundred feet from there was another cemetery. I ran under the arched entry and considered stopping but I wasn’t sure if they were behind me so I cut across and after some time I got behind a monument and waited.

I could hear thunder in the distance and I again tried to reach someone but clearly Zac was still pissed off and Sierra was too evidently, she wasn’t answering. The time said it was 7:15. Sierra should be on stage but no reason for Zac. The battery was down to 11%, so I went ahead and got GPS to give me directions back, they were pretty simple but fuck I’d gone four miles! I waited until after the sun would have set, the darkness was all around us. I moved to the same entrance but I could see Scarlet and Tera standing there talking. I tried the other two exists and Ash was at once, Damien the other one.

Fuck! They had me trapped inside the cemetery! It made sense really because this place was huge. I tried Zac again, but it wouldn’t even go through now. The thunder was right over us and the lighting was even getting a bit scary. I needed shelter but there was nothing here, no covered areas but the entrance and Scarlet and Tera were still there. I sat down on the backside of a wide and tall monument and just cried.

I’d been stupid to have Tera on the bus alone, stupid to think Zac could actually love me. Jacob was right, I just wasn’t loveable. I’d royally fucked everything up. I was pretty sure since Zac wasn’t answering or calling back he was done with me. One fuck up. I got my phone just before the rain started and tried, it was 8:45 but it wouldn’t connect.

“Please.” I silently begged as I tried Sierra’s number.

But it rang twice and the battery signal came up, 5%. I was trying to call Zac again when the phone shut off completely. Thankfully, I remembered the directions. Yet, the rain started after that and I had nowhere to go. I could barely see the front and they were sitting there talking as if they’d known each other a while.

I got to analyze her words sitting here, the hair color was to make him think it was Sierra. It had done a very good job. But what kind of stuck was, this is what she wanted. Everyone knew I’d run if I got hurt, clearly she wanted that. She wanted him to hurt me enough to run, which means most of what she said, was probably false.

I looked around and the fence around the cemetery was high, but I had to try. I couldn’t just sit here all night. I went to the far end and tried to climb the rails, but the metal was slick with rain so all I truly accomplished was another cut to my leg and ripped shorts.

It had to be late, even if Zac hated me for that one kiss…he wouldn’t leave me here…would he?

No. That was stupid he was upset and pissed off but he wouldn’t just leave me, even if he did Sierra wouldn’t leave without me. I tried to turn my phone on after a while and nothing. They had no idea where I was, how would they even find me?

One kiss. But, Zac had said Sierra and clearly he was already thinking we were hooking up because of what he said. I’d been an idiot. The looks he’d given me when he’d seen us, unsure and confused. Clearly he was going to tell me Friday about how he thought we were doing more. Guess he didn’t have too now.

The wind was blowing so I drew up as tight as I could against the monument, trying to get as much protection from the wind and rain as I could. My shoulder was still bleeding some, I could feel it but my arm and leg weren’t. This was the tallest monument here, so it did give some protection but only if the wind blew against it from the other side.

I drew my knees up to my chest and silently cried again, it’s all I could do. I’d ruined the best thing in my life  by trusting someone that I shouldn’t. I’d made more stupid decisions and left the safety of the venue and here I was, stuck in a cemetery in the middle of a thunderstorm, soaking wet, cold and very much alone.