Desire - Ch. 5 - Uncomfortable

[itztigress3]

Chapter 5 – Uncomfortable
POV: Emily
Word Count: 4748


May 8, 2009; Friday

Hanson Day was Wednesday, but the event was being held over the weekend. I had finished Inventory and filed the company taxes before the 15^th and by that I mean barely. Taylor did not escape inventory as they all had to help to get it done in time. Most of the events occurred on Saturday and Sunday, today was a special day where very few selected fans were allowed inside the studio to see it. However, they weren’t allowed to take photos. Amanda was here with Bradley and they were staying with Zac and I, he had gone in already and I was about to go in myself.

I left the house and started down the street. Craig couldn’t find any information on the caller and they continued through the rest of April, often calling when Zac wasn’t home or between 2 and 3 am. Zac got tired of it and changed my phone number, unlisted the new number and issued me a company phone for vendors or clients to call. Walking to work without Zac still made me feel insecure. Mostly because a number of times I felt like someone was watching me. I had the same feeling now so the last block I jogged.

I used my new codes to get inside, sealed my office for the day by locking the door to prevent fans from getting inside, and then I went to the store and made sure items were stocked. Zac saw me come inside, so he knew I was there. The fans would arrive and go through five at a time, ending in the store and then leaving. All three of the boys would be with them the whole time. This had been Amanda’s idea and she had presented it to them via telephone and covered all their questions. The 20 fans were chosen at random based on those confirming they were coming. The first two groups were pleasant, all three of the boys stayed there until all of the fans were outside the store before getting the next group. Group three was loud and all three of the boys were glad they were outside.

“Amanda’s in group 4, Bradley is coming in with her.”

“Is he one of the 5?” Taylor asked.

“No. You’ll have 6.”

They walked out but Zac stayed a moment. “Were you ok walking in?”

I looked at him. “No, I felt like someone was there. I don’t like that feeling.”

“Craig installed the cameras last week, he’s been reviewing them but he doesn’t see anyone.”

“He told me.”

He kissed my forehead, which was strange considering fans were outside the doors and the windows weren’t all covered, but I didn’t mind.

“I love you. I’ll see you in like 45 minutes.”

I smiled and let him leave. I restocked the one item that seemed to be selling faster than anything else and waited for the next group. Zac was the first person through the door and he looked upset. The fans were next and Taylor and Isaac were last. Zac actually came right to me and stood behind the counter and he only talked to Amanda and three of the others. He didn’t wait for them to finish, he moved out the back door and locked it behind him. I sent Amanda a message and asked her what was wrong, she was with the group. She looked at the message and then me and frowned.

The girl in the blue shirt was very inappropriate toward Zac. I’m talking…sexually.

I nodded to her, waited until the other 4 were out of the store. Amanda and Bradley did leave as well, but they came back around to the door to wait for me. I asked Isaac if they would let them back in while I found Zac. He wasn’t in his office, conference rooms, or the studio though. So I sent him a message and he said he was at home. I told him to stay there and I meet Amanda at the door. I didn’t ask her what happen, just told them I’d be back. I ran the three blocks home and used my key to get inside.

“Zachary?” I called.

“I’m up-stairs.” He called back.

I went up them two at a time and found him in the bedroom. His hair was wet and he’d changed clothes as well. He looked at me and I walked over and stood in front of him, let him lay his head down on my chest. I smoothed his hair back, letting the strands slide under and through my fingers.

“Baby, Amanda said the girl in the blue shirt was inappropriate but she didn’t say what she did. What happen?”

He put his arms around me and pulled me closer to him. I knew sometimes it took him time to speak about what’s bothering him, so I kept stroking his hair.

“She didn’t really do anything horrible.”

“Zachary.”

“She just made me very uncomfortable since she walked in the door. It started when she hugged me without me knowing her, her hands were too low on my back. We went down the hallway and Amanda was beside me. As we showed them the window into the studio I felt a hand brush across the back of my jeans, and she was the only one there. As we moved through the warehouse I felt the same feeling. You do it too but it’s not that soft. I tried to get near Amanda and stay around her and Bradley, but she saw her do it once, even said something. As we finished the tour she actually came onto me, we were waiting for Ike to stop talking about future expansions and she got very close and tried to hand me a hotel key. Which, I declined.”

I leaned down and kissed the top of his head. “Why did you run home and shower then?”

He sighed heavily. “Because she had a bottle of perfume in her purse and she basically sprayed me with it. It was this horrible smell. I could smell it when we were in the store and I went to the bathroom and tried to wash it off but just came home and showered. She sprayed me after I declined her key card.”

“What did it smell like?”

“It’s all over my shirt which is right there.” He pulled back from me.

I picked up the shirt from the end of the bed and I could see the wet spot near the collar and I made the mistake of smelling it, I expected something feminine but the scent I got was very familiar and those memories were ones I tried to ignore. The scent was the same one Adam wore all the time, sandalwood, a woodsy musty scent that I refused to allow Zac to buy.

“Emily?”

I sat down beside him on the bed. “Did you think I would be mad or something?”

He looked at me. “Yeah, I knew I’d have to tell you but I just that smell was overpowering.”

I patted his thigh. “I wouldn’t have been mad at you. Her? Yes. The scent on your shirt isn’t a woman’s perfume, its men’s. It’s the same scent Adam wore.”

He frowned at me. “I don’t think I like where this could be going. Random calls, your feelings of being watched, now this scent being the same. But, Emily that would mean they knew you’d be close enough to me to smell it.”

“Baby, if someone is watching they’d see us enter the same house.”

He fell backward onto the bed and I looked down at him, hair splayed everywhere around his head.

“You are being mean.” I said.

“I’m just laying here.”

“That’s being mean the way you’re laying, knowing we have to get back and there is not enough time.”

He smiled. “Are you sure we don’t have time?”

“Positive.” I patted his leg again and he sat up and kissed me, kept on eventually laying me back on the bed. I let him until my phone rang and then his.

“I hate phones.” He said.

“I told you there wasn’t time.”

He and I got up, he adjusted his clothes and we returned to the studio. Amanda asked if things were ok and I told her they were. He went to rehearse the songs they were doing with the other two, leaving me with Amanda and Bradley.

The three of us had dinner, which I brought Zac a plate home with me and put it up. We then just kind of relaxed and talked in the living room, now that the whole place was unpacked and decorations were up thanks to Isaac and Taylor’s help, it did feel more like home. We were talking about the house when my phone rang, I picked it up and seen the private name, private number on the screen. I hesitated but answered anyway, at first there was just breathing, but after a second hello, it was silent. I hung-up and when asked, just said it was a wrong number. That night once Zac was home, had eaten and showered and we were in bed I told him about the call.


May 10, 2009; Sunday

Saturday’s events went well. There had been two shows and today’s events was a walk, a speaking events, and then a night show. The walk was done early to avoid the heat of the day, I made sure to stay near Zac for that. There was a two hour break between the walk and the speaking event for those wishing to visit the store.  I did see the girl that Zac mentioned, but I said nothing to her because to them, I was simply an employee.

Once the store was closed we went to the secondary location for the speaking part. They had prepared a little talk about the purpose of the walks, what had been done, and the last album and they were also taking questions from fans. There were basic rules for the questions, mostly not asking about private matters. Amanda, Bradley, and I were near the middle of the room.

The first hour of the questions went smoothly, but then the girl who’d sprayed him with cologne raised her hand, Taylor choose her.

“There was a picture posted of Zac and two women on Gabby’s instagram, there are rumors that Zac is dating one of them. Is that true?” She asked.

“No. I am not dating either of them. Gabby is a friend and she was at Fool’s Banquet this past year.” Zac said.

She sat down and several others asked questions, some about lyrics, some about song meanings, someone asked Taylor how his family was which he only said they were fine. Someone asked Isaac if he enjoyed being a father and he answered with he did. The same girl raised her hand and Amanda looked at me, Isaac pointed this time and she stood back up and her focus went right to Zac. I felt Amanda’s hand on my leg and I glanced at her, she shook her head.

“If you’re not dating either of them, are you dating anyone?”

He looked right at me. “I’m not at liberty to answer that question. Whether I am or not is no one’s business but mine.”

“Is it because you’re dating Casey Smith?”

The entire room seemed to fall very quiet; the room was split between staring at her and staring at him. Even Taylor and Isaac were a little stunned.

“No. I am not dating Casey. He and I are only friends. I understand your curiosity into my private life however if you ask another question pertaining to my private life I will ask you to leave. The rules were established before you entered the room.”

She sat down but after four questions she raised her hand again, Isaac really didn’t look like he wanted to pick her but did anyway because no one else had raised their hand. I started too just for the sheer hell of it. She stood up, looked at each of them but her gaze fell to Zac again, and Amanda actually moved and put her legs over mine. It wouldn’t stop me if she pissed me off.

“So…Kate posted that the reason for your divorce was because you needed Viagra to perform, is that true Zachary? Is it true that you couldn’t have sex with her and that’s why you left? Is it because you couldn’t satisfy her sexually or otherwise?”

I saw the color drain from his face, Taylor had just drunk water and spit it all over the table in front of him, and Isaac just stood there frozen. The entire room was so quiet; I could hear my heart beating. Zac sat there for just thirty seconds before he bolted from the room, going out the side door. Amanda wisely moved her legs when I started to get up. I walked to her, standing there smiling like she’d confirmed something. I really, really wanted to hit her but when I looked at Ike and Tay they both shook their heads. I grabbed her arm, much harder than I needed too.

“Get your hands off me.”

“No. You were told and he warned you.”

“Aww, what’s the matter? Was it true?”

I was not letting her do this to him. “No. It’s not true. The reason for their divorce had nothing to do with sex. But, it’s none of anyone’s business why they chose to divorce.”

A few fans around her looked scared and I pulled her from the seat and guided her to the front of the room.

“Just so everyone is clear that is remaining. None of you will reask or require an answer to her question. If anyone has a problem with that, there is the door.”

I removed her pass which would prevent her from getting into the show later and threw it to Taylor and Isaac, Taylor caught it.

“You can’t do that!”

“Actually, she can Lily. She works for us and she is also part of the team ensuring that the guidelines and rules are followed. Zac asked you not to ask any more questions regarding his personal life. You clearly knew what you were doing.” Isaac said.

Taylor put her pass in his pocket. “We are going to take a break, security will you please remove her?”

Two guys came and took her from me; I turned toward the door Zac had bolted out.

“Before anyone leaves, we’d like to address this.” Taylor said.

I paused and looked at him. They both knew how he was about the divorce, he didn’t want any details to be leaked or told. The remaining fans all looked at them.

“The divorce is hereby banned from any questions you ask. He requested privacy in that matter and it still stands. Lily crossed the line by asking such a rude question and Zac has every right to ignore it. As for her questions having any facts, they do not. Isaac and I can beyond a doubt say that was not the cause of their divorce but we will not violate his privacy by saying the true reasons. Thank you, we appreciate your continued support. We will resume the Q and A in about an hour.” Taylor said.

He nodded to me and I walked out of the door, it might seem odd that I was the only one that did but they knew they couldn’t get him back. He was sitting on the far end of the hallway, against the wall with his knees drawn up. I went down the hallway quickly.

“Zachary?”

“Leave me alone.”

I kneeled down in front of him, placed my hands on his knees. “You know I’m not going to do that, why even tell me to leave you alone?”

“I’m not going back in there Emily.”

“Why? Because she asked you something that you know isn’t true? Taylor told the room the divorce was off limits and that was not the reason, but he did not tell them anything else.”

“I’m not going back.” He stated.

I sat there for a moment before I moved my hands and lifted his head so he had to look at me. I then wiped his cheeks off, they weren’t soaked or anything just a few trails. I wasn’t quite sure what the right words were, I guess it was how he felt when I collapsed in his arms the year before. This wasn’t quite that bad, but still, there were things about his marriage I didn’t know about. I could tell what she said had hit a nerve, it had hurt him. I could also tell what he wanted was not words right now. I gently moved his hands and then pushed his knees down some, he took hints very well; let me move forward into his lap. Before he brought his knees back up some, his hand went around me to my lower back and he buried his face in my neck.

I felt a few tears on my neck, but not many. I kept my arms around him, just let him sit there. I was fully aware that we were in the middle of a public hallway, but I wasn’t watching anyone else.

He finally pulled away from me some. “Why did she ask after I told her not too?”

I moved some of his hair again. “Because she wanted you to react to her, she wanted you to feel uncomfortable and maybe to run out of the room pale as a ghost.”

“I kind of expected you sooner.”

I smiled. “You think I was going to let someone else handle her? You should know me better than that Zachary. She’s out and she won’t be at the show tonight either. Taylor has her pass.”

“You took that from her?”

“I did. The rules were clear going in; they weren’t allowed to ask private questions. You warned her and she still did. Do you want to talk about that now?”

“I never needed medication like that Emily.”

I kissed his forehead and smiled. “I am fully aware of that fact Zac. In fact, Viagra could probably make a killing off of your hormones. I know what she said isn’t true, but why did it bother you?

He looked at me and faked his best offended face. “My hormones are not that bad!”

All I did was tilt my head sideways, look at him, and raise one eyebrow.

“OK! Maybe they are sometimes but really Emily, you don’t make it easy.”

I smiled at him. “I know I don’t. So, you know damn well that you’ve never needed help in that area. You tried everything you could to satisfy her Zac, even if you weren’t. She shut you out, not the other way around.”

“I know.”

“Then why let it bother you? I mean yeah it’s a very personal subject and in a room full of women I can totally understand why you bolted from the room. But, why the tears, why feel bad because of it?”

“She is somewhat right. The first question didn’t bother me really, I know I don’t need anything and even if I did it wouldn’t matter because no one can prove that. I didn’t leave because we weren’t having sex, it was more because she was with everyone else and that didn’t bother me either.”

“But the last question did?”

“Yes. Because she’s right Emily, I never could satisfy her. I am not just talking about sex either, she made that painfully clear that I couldn’t do anything right there. I’m talking in every aspect of our relationship. It didn’t matter what I did, how I done it, it never satisfied her. I thought we were happy together and that we were compatible but after we got married everything went to hell.”

I sat there and gave him some time; I was lightly rubbing the back of his neck with my fingers.

“I think you’re the only one that knows I like that.”

“I probably am.”

“Emily are you happy with me really? Kate never liked anything I did or tried, she hated everything I did from cleaning to folding laundry. She didn’t like the hours I worked or when they called at 3 am to discuss an idea. You don’t complain but neither did Kate.”

The light bulb went off, it was because of what she said but it was also deep down fears that he still had because of Kate. It was fears that she had given him because of her childish and selfish ways.

I moved hair from his face yet again, it was getting so long. I looked right at him, kept his face so he had to see me.

“I am happy with you Zachary Walker Hanson. If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t be sitting in your lap right now. I know that Kate was a royal bitch and always rode you for everything but that is not how a relationship should be.”

“But you never complain about anything.”

“Give me one good reason why I should. Why should I complain about you washing, drying, folding, and putting up your clothes or mine? You know how to properly do all those tasks. Why should I complain if you clean up the kitchen, living room, or the bathroom? You are a grown man Zac; you know how to do those tasks. You know where things go. I don’t complain because you don’t do anything for me to complain about. You cook, clean, and take care of me when I really need you to. Come on, you wore those scrubs and waited on me hand and foot for four days, really, why should I complain about that?”

“She always did. Nothing was off limits, not even sex.”

“I’m not her. Do you really want me to discuss sex in the hallway?”

He looked both ways. “No one is here but us.”

“Did she bruise your ego that badly with a few questions?”

He pulled me closer to him. “Maybe…”

I kissed him, not pulling back quickly, he slightly moaned when he felt my fingertips running up the right side of his neck into his hair, where I gently pulled his head to the right, then made my way down to his neck.

“I’m sure you remember Valentine’s Day?”

I felt the shutter course through him. “Yes.”

“The last time I put those black sheets on the bed, you remember those, with the built in handcuffs that kept you from stopping me, kept you right where I wanted you.”

“I do…” Another shutter flowed through him; he was remembering the ice cubes I was sure.

“You remember the last spanking you got?”

“Yes, you broke in the living room couch.”

“Then why do you even question that I wouldn’t be satisfied sexually? You’ll do whatever I ask, you aren’t afraid to try new things, you’re not afraid to tell me if you didn’t like it or if you did. Likewise, your are open to trying things I want too. The French maids costume even if you hated it, the nurse outfit which you may have to pull out this week, and you’re willing to try whatever I ask. Am I satisfied sexually? Hell yeah. I don’t even need to masturbate anymore.”

I actually could feel the heat in his cheeks against my skin.

“You don’t?”

I looked at him. “You do?”

“I do if we’re apart for several days at a time, like 3 or more.”

“Like fools banquet?”

“I was in the shower, it’s the only place I will there and because Amanda sent that video.”

“No, I don’t. I apparently am not near as horny as you are all the time.”

I went back to his neck placing light kisses and nips; I knew we would have to get up soon though.  I felt him relaxing against me, which was good. I could feel him against my inner thigh but I heard a gasp that did not come from him and his body instantly tensed up.

“You two looked way to comfortable.” Amanda said.

I turned and looked at her, Zac kept his head down some. “Why are you here?”

“Taylor asked me to come and find you. There reassembling, but really guys there was a few fans that came this way like ten minutes ago if you two are seriously having sex now then oh my god!”

Zac buried his face in my neck. “We’re not having sex Amanda, we’re still dressed.”

“I’m teasing because I know Zac has this aversion to sex. Seriously though, Tay said five minutes. Fans are being called back to the doors now, once Zac is back there letting them in.”

“Ok.”

She turned and walked away, but my phone buzzed a few moments later she smiled as she went into the room and I looked at my phone and giggled. I then turned it for Zac.

“Least I’m hidden.”

He let me go and I got up, helped him up and we returned to the room. Taylor and Isaac were sitting at the table and they both looked over.

“Are you ok?” Isaac asked.

“Yeah. I’m ok. I just…didn’t expect those questions and the last one bothered me.”

They smiled. “She won’t be back today or tonight. In addition, we have flagged her membership too.” Taylor said.

“Ok. How much longer is this?”

“We’re doing 30 more minutes; security went back over the rules again. Then we’re done here.”

He nodded and sat down at the table, I moved to a seat closer to the stage this time. The fans returned and the remaining questions were normal ones, mostly on future plans, EP ideas, and even lyrical meanings. When the time was up the fans left and they went to get ready for the show.

We met the boys for dinner and then the show was outdoors that night. I just couldn’t shake the feeling that someone was watching me though. About half way through the show a women walked up to me and handed me an envelope and briskly walked away. I knew she was a fan, she had to be, but I didn’t catch her name or anything. So, I opened the envelope and pulled out a white sheet of paper where words were written very neatly.

You cannot hide from him…you cannot get away from him…he will know…You will be his forever..

I reread it and wondered, Amanda took it before I could comprehend she was reaching for it.

“What the hell?”

“I don’t know the fan brought it to me.”

She showed it to Bradley and then handed it back to me. I reread it and while I wanted to deny that I knew who he was, I couldn’t. I moved out of the crowd and to the side of the stage, closer to Zac. When the show ended I was waiting for him, I didn’t care how sweaty he was I just wanted to know he was there.

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

I showed him the note. “Some fan brought it to me. It could be from anyone.”

“Is this the only one you have gotten?”

“Yes.”

“Ok. No more walking in alone, if you need to come in before or after me just drive it, I don’t care how silly it seems. That or call me and I’ll come back and walk with you.  You are also calling Christopher and telling him about the calls and this note. We’re also calling the police.”

I didn’t argue with him, agreed on everything. We called the police when we got back to the studio and filed a report. They took the note as evidence to see if they could get prints or anything. Since Amanda and Bradley were leaving the next afternoon, Zac and I opted to stay with them until their flight and go in later. But, calls and now notes were unsettling to us both. Amanda asked when we got home as well and I told her, this made her suspicious as well. We went to bed rather early but I laid awake beside Zac.

You will be his forever…

There was only one other person who felt that way besides Zac. I didn’t like the direction that was going either.