Desire Ch. 45 - Still feeling Guilty

[itztigress3]

Chapter45 – Still feeling Guilty…
POV:  Zac
Word Count: 3242

January 21, 2010; 1pm.

  I was still laying there watching her breathe, still holding her hand but when hers closed around mine I knew she was waking up, I sat up just a little bit and then her eye lids fluttered and she was looking at me. I knew it took her a few minutes to kind of wake up. But I couldn’t describe the overwhelming feeling of gratitude and relief that I felt seeing her looking at me, seeing her pretty grey eyes looking at me. I loved those eyes.

“Zac?”

“I’m here Baby.”

“I won’t argue anymore about going with you.”

I got up and kissed her cheek. “I’ll be dragging you everywhere from now on.”

“I’m sorry.” She whispered.

I laid my forehead against hers so I could see her eyes, my hair fanned around us, shielding our faces.

“You don’t owe me an apology, I owe you one. I’m sorry that I tried to hide that he was there. I was afraid you would freak out if I told you, turns out I should have told you. His charity event was canceled so he flew out and surprised us all. There wasn’t another room available, so I offered to share with him.”

“Shouldn’t have hung up.”

I kissed her cheek again. “Sh, it’s ok Emily. That’s not important right now.”

I felt her move her head closer and I stayed there for several minutes, letting her feel that contact because I needed as much as she did.

“Zac…” she whispered.

“Yes?”

“Can you do me a favor?”

“Whatever you want honey.”

“Will you teach me how to use a gun?”

I really didn’t expect that question so I looked at her shocked. “I thought you didn’t like them.”

She looked at me and in her grey eyes was fear. Pure and unrelenting, she was afraid and then the missing pieces fell into place. She’s been more afraid that she was letting on, trying to keep everyone from worrying.

“I don’t ever want to feel this way again.”

I pushed some of her hair back, fighting back the tears that weren’t listening to reason and falling anyway from my eyes.

“You won’t. Aaron is still here and I promised him I would come get him when you’re awake, only one of us can be back right now. He feels pretty guilty.”

She was falling asleep again, but her hand tightened on mine and I could tell, she wasn’t going to let me leave.

“You’re safe Emily, rest.” I whispered.

I paged the doctor when she was back asleep and Dr. Nicols came into the room about five minutes later.

“What can I do for you?”

“She briefly woke up but when I mentioned leaving she tightened her hand on mine. She’s not going to let me leave the room. I know Aaron is dying to see her and make sure she’s ok. Is there any way to make an acceptation to the one person rule?”

He looked at me for several minutes. “I don’t see how one extra person would hurt, but I will only go to two. I know he’s feeling pretty guilty right now and he’s here, but I didn’t see anyone else.”

“Her youngest brother and Craig went home; they took my brother’s home and left my things with them. A friend of mine if flying in but he won’t be here until late and he’s staying with one of my brother’s until we can determine what is up with our house. The police haven’t even spoken with me yet.”

“I think we can make the acceptance then. I’ll go get him, would you like him to bring you anything?”

“No.”

“Ok.” He said.

About ten minutes later Aaron came into the room and he looked at me.

“Did you work your charm on him or something?”

“She’s not going to let me leave. I explained.”

A nurse brought him a chair and he sat down. “How is she?”

“She’s ok. She’s afraid and terrified I can see it in her eyes.”

He was quiet and I looked at him. “Aaron?”

“She’ll probably be terrified of guns now. When he got it from me the first time, he pointed it right at her. I think my heart stopped when I saw that, just the way she looked at him. When I speared him he shot it and I just knew he’d killed her, the bullet missed by mere millimeters. But I’ve never seen her that terrified not even when out father picked up his belt.”

“She asked me to teach her about them.”

“She’s also hopped up on sedatives and pain medication.” He smirked.

I looked at her sleeping and then back to him.

“Can you call Craig and ask him if there is anything we can do to stop, prevent, redirect, or whatever for those messages and e-mails? She hasn’t wanted to ask very much of him.”

“I don’t mind asking him to do shit. Oh, Taylor called me at noon and said that Isaac was handling the police at your house. Is he on your lease?”

“No…but I think I have him listed as someone who can discuss things.”

“They evidently didn’t have your right number anymore, so they called him. He said he didn’t mind. I’m sorry about the mess.”

“I haven’t even been there.”

“Well, you’ll need some minor wood work, good cleaner for the floor. I never intended for her to be hit. I’m rather shocked that you didn’t just attack me when you got here. I fully expected that and fully deserved it.”

I looked at Emily again, listened to the steady beeping and pondered my response.

“Truthfully, when I hung-up the only thing I wanted was to beat you until you couldn’t move. I was dead set on that too, but as I waited to leave I realized that as guilty as I felt for leaving, as guilty as I felt for not being there to help her, that you had to be feeling worse than me because you were there. She’s your little sister and you have all protected her for so long that to be there when this happens had to be bad, when I walked into the hospital I could tell that you were paying enough without me adding to it. Truthfully Aaron, it’s not your fault she’s here right now, this lies at Adam’s feet. As pissed off as I was about being hung-up on after hearing her screaming like that, you did it because you knew her life depended on getting here as quickly as possible.”

“She shouldn’t be here period. She shouldn’t have been shot, I kept telling her to get behind something but really she was terrified and upset. I don’t think I ever want to see her face like that again.”

I smiled some at him. “I can protect her but I need to make sure he doesn’t get close again.”

“I don’t understand how he even got in the house. She went to bed right after she called you and I saw her go downstairs just before midnight. It was like five after two or so when I heard the first indication and it took me a few minutes to get out the damn room. I went to bed at ten and before I went to bed I checked every single window and door, even the ones up-stairs. I made sure the garage door shut, then I turned the alarm on before going up-stairs. It never went off.”

“The power was on right?”

“Yes. The clock by the bed had the time and it wasn’t blinking.”

“I’m sure the police will find something, god if he figured out how to hack the fucking alarm I may just move to an island.”

He smiled and we settled in to wait. About three Isaac called me and I answered the phone, went through the expected question of how she was which I answered.

“Ok, so I called because the police are almost done with the house. They’ve collected everything they could, dusted for prints, and everything. Is there anything specific you want them to check so I can let the detectives know before they leave?”

“Yes. The alarm, Aaron said never went off and the bedroom across from ours, Aaron said the door wouldn’t open.”

“They have checked the alarm, I mentioned that first. They won’t talk to me about it because it’s not my home. The bedroom door they did check as well, but again they won’t tell me anything.”

“How bad is it?”

“You don’t want to come home Zachary. Let us get it cleaned first.”

“Send me pictures Ike, I need to see it. If they’ll let you take them that is.”

“I took some with my camera because of your insurance coverage. When I load them I will send them to you via your phone e-mail.”

“This may sound stupid but have them sweep the house for bugs or cameras, you know where ours were so you can eliminate those but have them check everything electronic in the house.”

“Will do. How are you?”

“I’m ok. Aaron is back here with us, I asked Dr. Nicols because she’s not letting me go right now.”

“She’s probably terrified Zac.”

“She is. How is Nikki?”

“She feels guilty actually, her and Natalie both. We dropped Taylor off first and when he told her what happen she said she shouldn’t have argued with us about it. Nikki said the same thing. They will want to see her as soon as possible. I also called Mom and Dad and our other siblings. I also called Carrick and he’s going to oversee the rest of the retreat for us. Casey is on his way to my house as well.”

“Thank you Ike.”

“No problem. As soon as we can see her, you better call.”

“I will. I think they want her to wake up again and then they’ll probably move her.”

“Ok.”

We said our byes and hung-up, Emily woke up again about 4:30 and Dr. Nicols came in and checked her, Aaron stepped out since the gown would have to be high up on her.

“What caused these marks? Any idea?”

I pointed to the one on her hip and Dr. Nicols seemed confused, Emily looked to where I was indicating.

“He pulled my underwear off, ripped it actually.” She said.

“But he didn’t do anything else?” I asked.

“No.”

“I’d like for you to get up and walk for me, I know with the thigh injury it might be uncomfortable but just a few steps.” Dr. Nicols said.

He and I helped her up and she seemed somewhat ok sitting but standing didn’t go over well, the thigh was still too sore so he laid her back down. He approved her move to a private room and nurses came and did that, she had to let my hand go but I stayed beside the bed. Aaron did too but he waited outside while they settled her into the room. They had her on liquids for now and ice, so I got to feed her ice. Aaron came in long enough to offer to go get us dinner and to get anything I needed. I wanted the time alone with her, so I agreed calling Isaac to ask him to dig through my bag and throw some clothes and toiletry items into my carry in. She watched him leave.

“He did that on purpose you know.” She said.

“I do. But I’m ok with that.”

I sat down on the bed and got her hand again. “I know what happen from Aaron’s view, but what happen before that?”

“He was in the house when I hung up on you, I heard something in the hallway but I didn’t see anything.”

She then recounted how he woke her up, the fall down the steps, the hits and threats, she remembered a lot until the moment he pointed the gun at her, after that her memory seemed spotty, not quite adding up to Aaron’s story but matching where it did. She recalled firecrackers, or gun shots and screaming and the pain from being hit. I turned around and leaned back, let her lay beside me even if she couldn’t curl up.

“You get better and then we’ll figure out what to do.”

She didn’t say anything and I turned my head to look at her. “Emily?”

“There’s nothing we can do, he’s not going to stop. Paul will keep on watching me; he’ll come after me again.”

I didn’t like the tone of her voice or the way it sounded weak. I couldn’t blame the sedatives or pain medication either, she was afraid and I didn’t like the way she sounded.

“So, did you and Aaron get the invitations sent?”

“Yes, we did that Monday and we took them to the post office that afternoon.”

“So we just need to make sure the payments for everyone is on track?”

“Yeah, why are you even thinking about this now?”

“Because you need to think about something other than Adam and other than this, and something positive. I don’t care what he told you or what he tells us, you are marrying me March 20^th and nothing will stop that.”

She laid there for several moments before she lifted my hand up. “Australia.”

“What about it?”

“Let’s go there for our honeymoon. Australia and New Zealand and you can see the Shire because right now I want to be in another universe and I can’t think of a better one.”

“Are you sure that’s where you want to go? You mentioned Paris, France, and several others.”

“I’m sure, and Zac…”

“Yes?”

“We can talk about it here, but nowhere else. Also, for the tickets, plans, hotels, car everything needs to be done by someone not in our family.”

“But who?”

“Casey or Carrick, but Carrick would require our phones and Casey wouldn’t.”

“Casey doesn’t live here either; we’d have to call him.”

“Not if we go to him.”

“Baby, you got shot. You can’t just fly to California or ride.”

“Isn’t he here now?”

“Yeah, he’s with Isaac and Nikki. He’ll probably come up tomorrow.”

She yawned and before I could add to that Aaron knocked and came in. He carried my bag and dinner.

“Sorry Emmy, they wouldn’t let me bring you anything back. Zander said you were on liquids though and I did get you some juice which he approved.”

She smiled. “Thank you.”

She got juice while we ate quickly and quietly. I couldn’t read her mind, I wish I could. I did consider her request though, it was weird that Adam and Paul were able to send message without problems, here and at work. When she fell asleep I called Craig.

“Hey! What’s up is Emily ok?”

“She’s doing pretty well actually. I called to speak to you.”

“Shoot.”

“Actually, I want you to come to the hospital, bring Christopher.”

“Chrissy!” Aaron said.

I looked at him and Craig giggled. “One day he’s going to kick his ass.”

“I know. Can you do that?”

“Sure. Give us like thirty or so, do either of you need anything?”

I asked Aaron and neither of us did, so I told him no before hanging up. We didn’t have to wait long before they were there and I asked Craig to follow me to small little refreshment area where we could be alone and talk. I knew Emily would be safe because Christopher and Aaron were both there.

“What’s up Zac? It’s rare you do this and usually it’s serious.”

“I canceled my request for Isaac to e-mail me the pictures.”

I slid both my phone and Emily’s to him and he took them both looking confused.

“If you show anyone the images or videos from her phone, I will ring your neck.”

I knew very well he would instantly go through them and he did, I saw his face the moment it landed on the video she had took while we were in the studio alone. Oddly, there was this weird kind of blush and he looked uncomfortable.

“You do realize that while we are in relationships, you are not unattractive to any of us right? I really didn’t need to see this video..was that Casey?”

I felt the blush creep into my face. “Uh…no…that was Emily. Just don’t show Chris or anyone else, I would just delete it but she seemed to like having it.”

“It’s…this is…Emily? Oh Jesus Christ Zac! Why did you even show this to me?”

“I am sending our phones home with you, I will call Isaac and have him inform my family to call the hospital room or him for information, worse case, I can use Aaron’s if needed. But, I want you to go through them both with a fine tooth comb, save the data obviously, which is why I let you see the video so you don’t see it at home with everyone there. I need to know that nothing is on them compromising our safety.”

“What am I looking for?”

“Honestly? I don’t know. I would also like for you to meet Isaac tomorrow and go through our computers as well. Just dig through everything to make sure there is nothing there. Malware, spyware, anything that could be telling them anything because she said she didn’t want to use those or the work computers to plan our honeymoon and I am inclined to believe there is a reason.”

“Ok. I have a co-worker that is far better than I am, I will have him look at everything but her phone unless you have videos on yours and please god if you do please tell me so I won’t play them.”

“I don’t have any of us having sex on my phone.”

“Wait, were you at the studio when she shot that video?”

“I’m not saying anything else. I already feel like my face is on fire.”

“That’s because your face is pretty red. Anyway, I’ll have him look.”

“Studio too, all computers but I really would prefer that you be the only one there unless you’re like right with him. Because it’s business. I’ll pay him whatever he wants.”

“I understand. So…Zaccy…did you enjoy being bent over her desk?”

I groaned and got up but he didn’t follow me. “Craig?”

“I’ll be there when I can get up.”

I paused there and looked at him was he serious? He’d been turned on by that? “Yes, I did enjoy being bent over her desk, very much.”

He groaned and slammed his head down on the table. “Make that several minutes.”

I giggled and went back to the room and he came in about ten minutes after me and declared they had to go.

“Have a good night Chrissy.” I said.

He looked at me. “Not you too!”

I smiled and he just sighed heavily and they left, Aaron looked at me confused but said nothing. I used the hospital’s phone to call Isaac and tell him that our phones were with Craig and to use the hospital number or Aaron’s. I also told him that Craig would contact him to meet them at the house and studio and why they were. He agreed and then we hung-up. Aaron and I settled in for a long night.