Desire Ch. 80 - Meeting Dad

[itztigress3]

Chapter 80 – Meeting Dad
POV: Emily
Word Count: 3139


December 20, 2010

I had spent literally all day Sunday wrapping, tagging, and fixing presents. For the most part I knew who got what, but there were some items I had to ask about which they were ok telling me. Although, Zac did have to go back to the store for more wrapping paper and he also had to pick up a gift for one or two people they forgot.

Today however they were both relaxing and doing nothing, I however was going to Oklahoma City with Christopher and Aaron. They had called and asked if they could meet Ace and he’d agreed. They were coming over at ten and I was already ready. Casey and Zac were both still asleep. When they arrived I found Zac waking up and told him we were leaving and to have a good day. He said to call him when we got there; a quick kiss and I left him half awake in bed.

The drive down was smooth and easy, finding the apartment was hard though but they were very nice apartments. I parked and looked at them; neither had said anything since we left.

“You guys cannot still be pissed off with me.”

“Why not? You’ve known about this for months Emmy, we’ve asked you dozens of times and you kept rejecting it knowing there was this chance.” Christopher said.

“I explained to you why. I was fighting with it myself and I didn’t want you two to feel that way also. I know it was wrong of me to not tell you, I’m sorry. But, I wasn’t even sure.”

Aaron looked at me from the passenger’s seat. “I’m not mad at you. Sure, I do feel you should have told us months ago but honestly I talked with Zander and he explained how you looked when you woke up, how you looked when Zac came to us. He was legitimately worried about you.  When you stopped talking about it he said it was normal. He didn’t know about the DNA. We talked about it and in reality, I am glad he’s not my father. He’s a sick twisted bastard that needs to die.”

“But he raised us!” Christopher said.

I looked at him and frowned. “He raised me to Christopher. Changed diapers, protected me from big bad wolves, but you seen how much that meant to him. Do you really want me to recall every single thing he told me he wanted to do?”

“I understand that Emmy, but I guess you were right I’m not handling this well.”

“This is why we’re here, so you can meet him and decide and ask your own questions.”

He nodded and we got out of the car, they were on the top floor, number three. We took the steps up and I knocked on the door. A blonde haired man answered the door. He was strikingly handsome. Lean features, strong jaw bones and bright green eyes and his smile was infectious.

“You have to be Emily and I’ll assume they are Christopher and Aaron?”

“Yes, I am and they are.”

“Great! Come in, Ace is getting dressed.”

He let us into the three bedroom apartment, it was very nicely done. I took a moment just to look around the main area. It had an open concept design and the walls were a rich mocha color and all of the art work was framed in white, offsetting and showing them off very well. The floors were hardwood, stained a medium shade and the furniture was all clean lines and pure white. There was a lot of white in the space, the entire kitchen was white even the marble countertops. It was quite nicely done but I was afraid to sit down.

“This place is awesome.” Christopher said.

“Thank you, I designed it because Ace is more art than design.”

“Lot of white, I’d be afraid.” Aaron said.

“Believe me; it’s not easy to be careful in this house. It’s good to see you again Emily.” Ace said.
He gave me a brief hug before he looked at the other two and seeing them standing together I could tell they were his.

“Aaron, Christopher.” He said.

They both greeted him kind of stiffly in my opinion but they were still slightly pissed at me and totally unsure about him.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen either of you. You definitely grew up on me.”

“It seems Emily did too.” Aaron said.

“Yeah, I actually saw and spent time with the two of you though I didn’t get that with her at all. I see you’ve met Nathaniel.”

“Well, kind of.” Nathaniel said.

We got a proper introduction to him and then we sat in the living room, Nathaniel brought drinks to us and then sat down with us. It grew kind of quiet.

“So, she told you about the tests?” Ace asked.

“Yes. She told us Saturday.” Christopher said.

“We would like a DNA test between the four of us just to make sure, I am sure you understand why.” Aaron said.

“I do and I don’t mind at all. I kind of expected it anyway.”

“So, you’re an airline pilot?” Aaron asked.

I let them talk a while about the job, places he’d been and seen. Christopher was just very quite beside me and I couldn’t tell if he was mad or upset. I laid my hand on his knee and he glanced at me for a brief moment. Aaron and Ace were really deep in their conversation about planes, Aaron had always liked them.

“Christopher?” I asked.

Aaron glanced our way quickly and moments later Christopher was running out of the apartment. Aaron started to get up.

“I’ll get him. Stay here. You can’t catch him anyway.”

I ran after him and holy fuck I almost lost him a few times as he turned corners quickly and blindly. He finally stopped at a park that felt miles away from the apartment and I stopped at the entrance, saw him sitting alone on the far end of the park. I had no idea what the problem was so I carefully walked to him and sat down beside him.

“You want to talk about it?”

“Why? You won’t understand it.”

I looked at him. “Don’t hurt my feelings by saying stupid shit like that. Your upset and I can see it, doesn’t mean I have to understand it or even relate to it. You’re my brother Christopher like it or not.”

“How could you understand it Emily? He was never around you; the only man you ever interacted with was David.”

“That’s true, he was never around me. Do you think I wouldn’t like to have known him at least a little? You and Aaron both got to spend years with this man, years I never got. You both remember him and I don’t. I am positive you can’t understand how that feels. So, talk to me. I didn’t run what feels like four miles just to have you tell me I won’t understand it.”

“No one made you run after me.”

“Oh please, we both know Aaron couldn’t even keep up. Who else was going to run after you?”

He looked out across the open fields, covered in snow. “I vaguely remember him. I wasn’t that old so I have fuzzy fleeting memories of playing with him, enjoying being there, and just being happy. It’s the only time I felt like I could be me. He left us with David Emily, he fucking knew we were his and he didn’t fight for us. He tried twice and gave up.”

“David wasn’t letting us go Christopher and you know that.”

“He may have.”

I looked at him and he sighed. “You know he wouldn’t have and if he did, there would be no telling what he would have done to us before handing us over.”

He looked at me. “You actually thought this through? I mean you said that as if it was a constant thought and not spur of the moment.”

“I had four months Christopher, I thought about everything all the damn time. So, what is wrong?”

He sat there a moment before he looked at me. “I always thought that David wasn’t really my dad. I guess I remembered Ace vaguely and just remember being happy there. I just…years I wished I could just forget David and now it’s like he’s not really my dad and I could have done so much more to him but didn’t because he was my dad.”

“Hardest part for me was after he raped me the second time, because while I had seen he wasn’t, he still was to me for a long time. I felt the same way Christopher. I didn’t understand how he said he loved me yet he’d beat the hell out of me or any of us really.”

“You know before you told us he wasn’t I couldn’t believe he’d do that, but I mean the way you were acting said it was totally true. I can’t image what it felt like for you in that moment.”

“You were quite and ran though, you’re usually better with emotions.”

He looked at me and smiled some, even though his face was turning red from the coldness.

“Aaron was older and remembered more about him than I did. I just remember feeling happy and I was upset that he didn’t try harder, didn’t force David to do it. He and Aaron were clearly getting along well and I just wanted to scream at him, ask him why he didn’t force David to give us to him. Oddly, I never thought that David might hurt one or all of us.”

“He did say that he considered trying again but he didn’t because he really had nothing to prove to them there was a chance. I feel like David would have eventually gotten suspicious and done a test himself. I really don’t want to think about what he would have done to us had he known we weren’t his. I’m pretty sure where I would have ended up but what would he have done to you and Aaron? My best guess is he would have really hurt the two of you.”

“Did he really say Mom was a whore?”

“Yes. But, you know it was pretty common then and I can’t say that I blame her. I don’t feel like she was a whore Christopher, I feel like Mom did what she wanted because David suppressed those urges.”

He glanced at the ground and then me. “So, did you really ask Craig to jack off in front of you?”

I guess he finally mentioned that sordid secret. “I did. Remember, Dad forbid all sex talk with me. I mean he didn’t even tell me about periods and you see how that turned out.”

“Dear god, don’t remind me.”

“When I left home I didn’t know anything about sex beyond what I’d heard which was not much. Craig and Tiffany were more experienced and more open, because their mother was. I saw a video on his laptop once and I was curious so I asked. He was always into men and I didn’t feel weird and neither did he.”

“Do I really want to know exactly what they taught you?”

“No, you don’t. Do you feel better now?”

“Yeah, I was just there and I felt like he should have done so much more and I was upset about it. But, I didn’t consider that him not pursuing it is what saved us all. I can’t say I would be here today had he raised us.”

“I wouldn’t be. I wouldn’t have ever known Adam and been through all this. You wouldn’t know Craig.”

He smiled some. “You know I never thought I’d be with him or love him. I felt so bad when we got up the next morning and you were in the hospital and I was like, I had sex while my sister was in the hospital. I felt like a jerk but then I got there and seen how you were just cozy in Zac’s lap. I didn’t feel as bad.”

I slid over next to him mostly because I was beginning to shake from the cold.

“You want to know a secret? I don’t blame you Christopher. You were both pissed off, upset, seething, and really Craig was right you guys didn’t need to be there in that mood. Zac was calm and knew what to do, he was who I needed. If the sex helped you calm down then you shouldn’t feel bad about it.”

“But I did because you were hurt.”

I got even closer seeking warmth mostly. “You know what, that one night stand lead you to and Craig to get together later. It’s probably the only good thing that came from that time.”

He looked at me. “Are you cold or something?”

“I’m fucking freezing thanks to you.”

He put his arm around me and giggled. “I guess we should get back. I wonder how Aaron’s doing.”

“I’m freezing my ass off waiting on the two of you to stop talking about one night stands and bring your asses back.” He snapped.

We both turned and found him standing behind us shaking slightly.

“Well, you could have said something.” I said

“I was actually ok listening to Christopher discussing his sex life. But really, Ace got worried you two have been gone for over an hour. I told him I’d find you.”

We got up and started back and Aaron nagged him about that first night with Craig, actually wanted details.

“Doesn’t bother you he asked for details?” Christopher asked.

“Nope. I mean really Christopher you both know about Zac and Casey and I. So, fair game. Besides Craig is pretty open about sex and I know he tops and bottoms.”

They both shook their heads. “Why is it you’re so much easier to talk to about sex?”

“I’m not sexually repressed?”

“That’s for damn sure, you even unrepressed Zac, which that boy needed it.” Aaron said.

I giggled. “That he did.”

We returned to the apartment and they had blankets which was awesome and hot chocolate. My god Nathaniel knew his way into my heart very well because that hot chocolate was fucking amazing.

“Do you mind if I ask what the problem was?” Ace asked.

Christopher looked at him. “I was upset that you didn’t make David give us to you. But, Emily pointed out that David would have probably hurt us before he did.”

“If I had known that he was beating you guys then I would have tried a little harder, maybe found something that I could have used to prove before filing.”

“David sounds like a first class jackass but you know the three individuals I see before me turned out to be very good adults. You have jobs you enjoy and love, you have husbands you love dearly, boyfriends you can’t live without and a family you love. Despite the bad things David did, you all turned out to be respectful adults.” Nathaniel said.

“I can agree with that just by getting updates and seeing how you are now.”

We smiled and finally Christopher talked to him and we found a lot in common and we agreed that we’d do the DNA test in January. The drive back to Tulsa was filled with talking and laughing and I dropped them off before going home. Zac and Casey were entranced in a video game when I got home and I stood in the foyer and watched them for a moment, it was a shooting game and I was glad Zac was playing it. I quietly sat down on the sofa and just watched.

Sure, I was like Christopher I wished at times that Ace had been able to get us and raise us himself. He was so different and didn’t believe in beating children. Yet, none of us would be who we are today without the events of our childhood. I wouldn’t appreciate the love a brother could give, wouldn’t appreciate the fact I now have eight of them. I wouldn’t have the best job in the world where I got to work with my husband and family, where I got to travel the world. I wouldn’t be the woman I am today, had it not been for the things David did.

“I think I want to see him.”

Zac jumped, nearly knocking the chair over. Casey jumped a foot off the floor and both of them were blown up by a grenade and I just laughed.

“Where the hell did you come from?” Casey asked.

“Jesus Christ Emily, you could have warned us!” Zac said.

I giggled. “No, seeing you both jump was worth it. Seriously did you not hear me come in?”

“No.” they said.

“Well, glad I’m not some stalker.”

“Funny. What to see who?”

“David.”

“WHY?!” Zac asked.

“There are just a few things I’d like to tell him. I mean, I obviously haven’t put much thought into it yet. Just a thought at the moment, I’d want to consider it a little longer.”

“Good idea.” Casey said.

“So, since your both dead in the game do you want to go get some dinner? I’d certainly put one or both on the menu but really, I want like real food.”

“Nymph.” Casey said.

“But you love it so much, so shush.”

“I’m quite fine with being a nymph.” Zac said.

But, they did cut the game off and we went and got dinner at the diner. Finally, five days before Christmas I was looking forward to it. Sure, little River wouldn’t understand but I was excited to see him and the older ones open their gifts and see their faces. We got back home about 8:45 and that’s when I noticed the extra presents.

“You guys wrapped stuff.”

“We wrapped yours, since you weren’t here.” Casey said.

I smiled at them and prayed it wasn’t anything bad. We went to bed rather early as brothers were coming over the rest of the week and we had huge family gatherings. It was going to be a good holiday, despite the events of the year.

Turns out I was right, Christmas and New Years went perfect. Christina announced she was expecting and I acted surprised and so did the others. Holding River didn’t hurt anymore and perhaps Natalie had been right, because since he’d been born I hadn’t felt so sad about not having my own baby in a few months. Zac seemed to be doing better in that area too. There were still a lot of unanswered questions, but perhaps we could get those answers soon.