Infinity Chapter 27 - Cleaning Out...

[itztigress3]

Chapter 27 – Cleaning out…
POV: Emily
Word count: 3224

August 28, 2013; Wednesday

  Zac had gone in early this morning; Carrick was here with me, Zac asked him to stay because of the box I’d gotten. Honestly, I wanted him here because I wasn’t feeling quite so sure about being alone. I was currently nursing Alexander and Carrick was browsing channels, I had covered up but my stubborn son threw it back and Carrick assured me unless Zac would beat his ass, he’d be fine.

“You guys have like three hundred channels and I can’t find anything.”

“Join the club dude, I sit here and flip channels for an hour. Zac comes in and bam! It’s video games and I’m wondering why we even bothered.”

“No kidding, boy loves his games but I assume he also spends time with you.”

“Well of course, man lives here.”

He raised an eyebrow at me his patented smirk. “You know what I’m talking about.”

“What? You think I’m telling all the secrets?”

“Why not? You’re the best one for his secrets.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Would he seriously spank you if you told me one thing?”

“Yep. Likewise, I’d do the same thing.”

“See! That’s one!” he said.

“Don’t make me put you to work today.”

“What do you have to do today?”

“Clean mostly, but we’ve been kind of preparing for that anyway so it’s not much. The kitchen mostly, I need to go through the fridge and pull out anything that will go to waste.”

“I’m bored, mind if I do that?”

“Be my guest, I was dreading it anyway. If you find anything in the fridge that looks more like a science experiment than anything edible, I apologize.”

He got up and went to the kitchen; I finished nursing him and then took him up-stairs for his nap. I laid him down and then went to the spare room and got the suitcases, while I waited for him to go to sleep I packed his clothes. I knew about how often we would stop and do laundry, so I packed accordingly. I laid out everything he would need from clothes, blankets, and sheets. I then packed according to what would be with us on the bus and what would need to be stored. I labeled his suitcases, which was three and then took them down to the kitchen.

“Done?” Carrick asked.

“No, that’s just Alexander’s stuff. That doesn’t include the stuff I need from the kitchen.”

He smiled and I went back up-stairs, packed mine and Zac’s. They had already put their stage clothes on the bus. I started with mine, making sure I had stuff that was easy access for feeding and appropriate for the bus, including night clothes. I was digging around in my underwear drawer trying to find a pair when I found the bullet for the vibrating panties.

“Weird, that’s supposed to be in those.”

But, I couldn’t find the panties anywhere, so I laid it aside. I packed up mine and then got Zac’s packed as well. I took them down and sat them by the door. I then cleaned up our bedroom, taking all dirty clothes to the laundry room and washing them, I’d put them up later today when they were dry. I cleaned the bathroom well, cleaned the bedroom and made sure everything was put up where it should be. I checked my check list again for the three of us. I then went to Alexander’s room and picked out toys for him, anything that would entertain. Carrick eyed the two baskets of toys but let it go. When Alexander was awake I changed him and then finished the cleaning of his room and ours. I then brought him down.

Carrick was almost done in the kitchen and I had a stack of dishes.

“So, I threw out a plastic bowl...the fuzz growled at me.”

I giggled. “Seriously the fuzz growled?”

“Totally, I almost called the national guard.”

“No telling what it was.”

“Ok, I’ll entertain mini Zac while you do whatever you need too.”

He went to the living room and sat down among the toys and Alexander was very content then. I cleaned the fridge, scrubbing some areas and made plans for dinner with what was left. I got the box we were using for Alexander’s things, because we still had to fix his stuff. I used it to make bananas, peaches, plums, and seedless grapes. All of which he loved. We would add a new item each week, because we didn’t know if he was allergic to anything. I made just enough for the days we would be home and Friday. I then washed and cleaned all the components and let them dry. I had used regular glad bowls with lids for the few days; all the containers went with us. I knew Zac would be late getting home.

“Hey, Carrick. Can you handle him for like an hour? I’m not leaving but I need to clean the truck out good and I don’t want to bring him out, it’s freaking hot outside.”

“Hey, I know where you’ll be if I need you.”

“Ok.” I said.

I went to the garage and opened the door; I started with my car which wasn’t bad. I sometimes drove it but not a lot. I cleaned out the trash and laid anything that needed to go inside by the door. I then started with the truck which was a disaster zone. Dr. Pepper bottles were everywhere. I was almost done when I took the car seat out and folded the seat forward to make sure nothing had been tossed in that space. I felt something land on my foot and jumped, then went to see what it was.

I picked up the black thongs from the floor and was very confused. They were obviously behind the seat, stuffed there and they looked clean but I didn’t dare try the sniff test. They were also clearly men’s, the tag even said so and I was pretty sure they weren’t Casey’s either, because I had seen all of his and these weren’t the right size. The glaring issues was that they couldn’t be something Zac bought either, because he only wore the blue ones when I begged, come to think of it, I had not even seen those, so where were they?

I leaned against the trunk door as the only answer came to mind, if these weren’t his they were someone else’s, it was obvious that someone else had his blue ones. I could feel the prickling in my eyes, I had been wondering if there was another woman but never considered that it was another man, someone obviously Casey didn’t even know about. I was more than positive it wasn’t Max. I leaned back and tried not to let the prickling turn into flood gates because I had too much to do. I put them back behind the seat and as I cleaned I wondered if every can, every bottle was just his.

I finished and then sat down beside the door; I could very well ask him when he comes in. He had returned the rental for Carrick and Taylor was bringing him home when they were done. But, would that solve anything? We were about to be stuck on a 45 foot bus, if we were arguing then everyone was going to be miserable. I sat there on the step for well over an hour before I got the things that went inside, putting them on the counter I saw that Carrick was still playing with Alexander.

Why would Zac want to go anywhere else? It was clear he liked when I did things, he’d admitted things felt better. But, I couldn’t deny the 2 am e-mails and the last few weeks the non-stop text messages and even the last few days were even the same. Had the snow globe and roses been a warning from the man he was obviously seeing without telling me?

“Emily?” Carrick asked.

“Yeah?” I asked.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m good. It’s very hot out there.”

He got up out of the floor and walked to the kitchen, there was no way in hell he could read me. Not possible! The man simply didn’t know me that well.

“Are you sure? You don’t look so well.”

“I am sure.”

“Your phone went off a few times and then Zac called me frantic like wondering where you were. He said Ryan was going to bring him home.”

“Why not Taylor?”

“Natalie called and she wasn’t feeling very well.”

“Oh.”

I checked and he’d messaged several times and I replied. But I could see the screen shaking some.

“I’m going to shower right quick, want me to take Alexander with me?”

“No. But can you explain why you never use Alex or anything short like AJ. Zac forbid me to ever call him that again.”

“He said AJ wasn’t his name and people could use his name unless Alexander later wanted to use it. As to why we never use Alex, not his name. We named him Alexander.”

“Where did James come from?”

“Casey’s middle name is James. Alexander James Walker, we used Zac and Casey’s middle names.”

“Why Casey?”

“When Adam and the others were pretty horrible Casey kind of became my personal body guard, anytime Zac couldn’t be right there Casey was. Ironically, the one time I trusted someone beside Casey and Velma, I was kidnapped. He’s kind of always there.”

“I noticed he clings to Zac at the retreats too.”

“Yeah.”

Surely, Zac and Casey weren’t doing things..But they weren’t his size, I just stood there, named and faces running through my head.

“Were you going to shower?”

“Oh…yeah..”

I walked up stairs to our bedroom and before I bothered I tore his draws apart looking for that pair of thongs. I even checked the basket and under the bed and Carrick had sat the folded clean clothes on the bed, when had he done that?! They were nowhere, so I went ahead and showered quickly. I heard Alexander when I got out and was kind of shocked to see Carrick standing at the door and me in my towel.

“Shit! Sorry! He was crying and I thought you were done!”

“One minutes, just sit him down he’ll come to me. He’s probably hungry.”

He sat Alexander down and backed out, closing the door. I met Alexander half way and picked him up, sat in the chair in the room. Why bother to get dressed and then remove my shirt again? That was totally the issue so I just sat there as he nursed. So many happy memories adored the walls, pictures from trips and tours.

Would you really walk away? Could you walk away from him?

Even now with additional proof, I couldn’t even answer that question. What happens if I do? I’d be a single mother, no idea of where I’d go or do, and if he got the notion to file for full custody there would be nothing stopping him from winning. I knew how ruthless the lawyer could be. I sat there until he was done and then I burped him and sat him down while I got dressed; he of course found Zac’s sneakers a prime toy at the time.

I finished putting my clothes on and something else caught my attention, in my haste to find his thongs I’d tossed some papers on the ground. Alexander was currently playing with one and I picked them up and found the one he had was the letter from Kate, which was open. I blinked a few times; he hadn’t even told me he’d opened it.

I sat down and opened it, read the words she’d written to him. It really was nothing different than what I already knew, but the last paragraph just warned him about me cheating on him. God she was a bitch. I put them back up and went downstairs, finding Carrick had fixed dinner and was almost done.

“So, Ryan is staying for dinner as well.”

“Ok.” I said.

I sat down in the living room, played with Alexander, taking him away from Zac would kill him, but if he took him from me then I’d have nothing. I wasn’t even aware that I was crying until Carrick was kneeling beside me.

“Honey what’s wrong?”

“I can’t believe he’s getting so big.”  Fuck that was a pathetic reason.

“Emily.”

Yeah, guess he figured that was pathetic too. “It’s nothing really. Dude, I’m a woman. I cry sometimes for no other reason than I want too.”

He sat down. “But you’ve looked pretty down since you came inside. I’m here Emily; I won’t tell anyone else anything you tell me.”

“Really Carrick, I’m fine.” I was far from fine, but he would tell Zac because he was his friend first.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. I guess getting the package was more than I thought.”

“Zac said it had a snow globe and roses, not that bad.”

“I don’t like snow globes.”

“You don’t?”

“No. Adam use to send them to me, presents he called them. Custom made globes with memories as he called them. They were scenes from when he was there, when he raped me. He had audio as well, the police found the tapes at the house; he’d played them for David.”

“Tapes like video?”

I nodded. “He apparently set up cameras that I never saw, which he never saw the surveillance video either. He sent them to David who watched them apparently. But the snow globes were of those times.”

“Well, the bastard that sent them should be smacked over the head with it. Don’t worry about it Emily, you know how Zac is. He’ll do whatever it takes to protect you and now Alexander.”

Protect me while he was out with some other man? Guess that was why he wanted me to get use to being alone with Alexander. I gave him a weak smile and he returned to the kitchen. I was feeding Alexander his plums when the back door opened and they came in about 8:45.

“Did you see Taylor’s face?” Zac asked.

“Dude, priceless!”

I felt the warm lips on my cheek. “Evening.”

“Evening, what did Tay do?”

“Oh my god, he was being such an idiot earlier before Natalie called. He was joking around at the drums and didn’t realize I’d already loosened up screws for tomorrow and went to play and the whole kit fell apart. It was hilarious as he thought he was all mighty and broke them.”

I laughed because it was funny. “Wow, go Taylor. Carrick’s in the shower and dinner’s plated right there. Ryan didn’t know what you’d eat so if you don’t like it just avoid it.”

He laughed. “I’m like Zac, I’ll eat anything.”

They sat down and Zac looked at Alexander, who was quite enjoying his plums.

“Can’t believe he likes them, what did I do?”

“Chose a fruit that was good for him.”

“Dude we could have totally played a few hours if we hadn’t hung out at the studio so long after they left.”

I was positive Zac saw me look at him. “We talked while I cleaned up the office.” He said.

I swallowed and diverted my attention away.

“Ryan, dude we got months to play. Do you realize how boring rides are?” Zac asked.

“Months to play with you sounds quite nice.”

I looked up and Zac was blushing some! What the fuck? I really started to say something but Carrick came in bright neon yellow boxers.

“Damn Carrick are you trying to blind us?” Zac asked.

“Sorry. It’s like…the only pair I had with me. Everything else is on the bus!”

I finished feeding Alexander and then without a word I took him up-stairs, I got his night clothes and laid him down, just used baby wipes to wipe him off, he wasn’t really dirty. I changed the diaper and put his pajamas on but he wasn’t quite ready for bed, so we sat and played. It was eleven before Zac came in; Alexander was already asleep by then.

“Are you ok? Carrick said you were crying earlier and you acted a little off in the kitchen.”

“I’m fine. Ryan leave already?”

“Not exactly, he’s in the other spare room. He had some clothes in his car so he’s just going to change in the morning.”

“Did you read Kate’s letter?”

“No, I had no reason too. You already know that Emily.”

“Then why was it open? You opened it but didn’t read it?”

He actually looked confused. “No. I didn’t open it.”

“Then explain who did, because it was open earlier and I didn’t open it.”

“Maybe Casey did? He did say he wanted to read it. I don’t know why.”

“Did he also take your blue thongs?”

Yep, that was the kicker because he stopped on his way to the bathroom and looked at me.

“Don’t lie to me Zac, I know there not here. I’ve looked everywhere for them.”

He sighed. “I was hoping to replace them actually, I was going to wear them the other day but the side broke, I obviously gained weight since the last time I’d worn them. I considered having someone fix them but figured I’d just buy another pair or have you when we got home.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me then?”

“What is wrong Emily? Are you seriously mad because I didn’t tell you right then that a pair of underwear ripped? How many have you thrown away without bothering to tell me?”

“Nothing is wrong.”

He seemed to believe that I mentally kicked myself, but I did get up and close the bedroom door. I didn’t know Ryan that well, surely not well enough to have him stay overnight. I then put on shorts and sat down; he came out ready for bed and lay down then pulled me over next to him.

“If you want, I’ll go tomorrow and buy another pair. Whatever color you want.”

“You’d do that? You would go to an actual store and buy a pair?”

“Yes. If that is what you want me to do. I should have told you, but I didn’t think you’d be mad they were gone.”

“I won’t be mean like that, I won’t make you go. But, I won’t mind sending Casey.”

“Oh dear, he’ll enjoy that.”

We both settled in but it was about two when I felt him get up, heard the door open and I blinked. Alexander wasn’t awake, what was he doing? He wasn’t gone long and had a glass in his hand when he returned. I was seriously losing my mind. He surely wasn’t stupid enough to bring some other fuck buddy to the house. When he laid down I slid back.

I felt the light kisses to my neck. “You keep doing that we may have to go to another room.”

I pulled his arm over me and held it tightly right there, determined that I wouldn’t let him leave, I wouldn’t let some other guy take him from me. Instead, I’d make damn sure Thursday night he remembered exactly what I could do. He could sleep Friday.