Infinity Chapter 40 - A Single Heartbeat

[itztigress3]

Chapter 40 – A single heartbeat
POV:  Zac
Word count:  3087


5:15  am; October 14, 2013

Dear god, what had happened?! We had been quietly enjoying a movie, I was about to go up to bed when things just seemed to go insane, there was an ear splitting boom right near the sofa and a second later a second one in the kitchen, the bus tilted and sent stuff falling ever where. Had we hit something?

The third noises brought the screams, and I wasn’t sure if it was all or some of us. The next several minutes were spent being tossed around like rag dolls. My head hit something in the shuffle and all the places that already were hurting just doubled in pain and I wasn’t quite sure what had even happened. I heard my name, felt arms but everyone sounded so far away!

It took minutes for Taylor and Isaac to drag me out of the bus and away from the wreck, and I sat on the ground a moment.

“Alexander! Emily! There inside!” I said.

“We’re going back...” Isaac started but it was Carrick that stopped him and I didn’t understand why.

A single heartbeat was all it took for my world to shatter, a single heartbeat from when Carrick stopped him to when the tour bus exploded into a ball of flames and flying debris.

It took a single heartbeat before reality slammed into me. “No!” I screamed.

I didn’t care that everything was hurting, I didn’t care who was standing here, my wife and son weren’t, I screamed for them but several people were holding me back, I was sure Taylor and Isaac were two. Casey was suddenly in front of me, pushing me back.

“Max? No!” Maddi screamed.

I stopped for a moment and she was standing behind us.

“You could have stopped this!” I screamed.

“I called…I told Max! I was just…I was too late.”

I knew Casey was there, but it was Taylor’s voice telling me to calm down. Calm down?! I was watching my wife and son burn to death in front of me! How the fuck could I calm down?!

The overwhelming ache in my chest was much worse than anything Ian had done. Realization that the last time I would ever see my son smile was during our show tonight as he sat there on my leg during the song, the last time I would ever see him was while he slept in his crib. The last time I would ever see Emily was when I told her goodnight, told her I loved her. I’d never see them again. Alexander would never see his first birthday.

Casey looked confused when I stopped fighting them, but the ache in my chest was just too much and I collapsed right there on his shoulder, the bright orange glow from the flames illuminated what was left of my life, which was nothing. Laying a few feet behind Casey was a road sign with the number 71 on it, it was on fire and I just cried.

Casey was crying too and it kind of dawned on me that Robert had been up-stairs as well, I didn’t see him nor did I see Velma or Shannon, none of them were standing here. Carrick had gone to Maddi who had since collapsed to her knees as well. I have no idea how much time passed, I know Taylor and Isaac had left me there in Casey’s arms and they were calling the police.

I was staring at the sign, Casey was rubbing my back telling me it would be ok, but I heard it. I rose up some, listened and I could hear Alexander screaming and that meant he was alive, Casey tightened his grip when I went to move.

“Let me go Casey! I can hear him!”

“Zac you’re not hearing him. I’m sorry Zac but he’s not…”

“Let me go!” I screamed.

His screaming and crying was louder, it wasn’t my imagination! Casey still held tightly to me but there was something or someone coming from the distance. I felt Casey move, turn, he must have heard it too because he let me go and I got up and ran toward whatever was coming toward me, it may very well be just my imagination but I didn’t care. I never in a million years though I would be so happy to see Robert, he was walking up the road carrying Alexander.

Alexander fell into my arms and I tightened my grip on him, just hearing him screaming told me he was alive. I was afraid to ask him where Emily was, he didn’t have her and he was bringing Alexander to us, why not her?

“Robert…where’s Emily?”

“Max has her laying away from the bus, but all of our phone are missing. He doesn’t know how badly she’s hurt and he didn’t want to move her. He checked Alexander but he was sandwiched between us in a bunk as we rolled. He got a very mild scratch on his leg and he’s beyond scared.”

“Point me in their direction and let them know your ok, Casey’s worried and Maddi’s breaking down over Max.”

He pointed me in the direction and I went that way and he continued toward the others. Alexander was screaming still and I held him tightly, kept telling him it was fine. I had him and he was safe. Max was kneeling beside Emily on the ground. His fingers were on her wrist and he’d tied something around her neck.

“Did you not find them Robert?”

“I’m not Robert, I sent him to the others.”

He turned. “Did someone call the police?”

“Yeah, I think Taylor did. They should be here soon. I had Robert tell Maddi you were ok. Where are Velma and Shannon?”

He pointed to them, huddled together. “There both really shook up; we almost didn’t get them out in time.”

From this side the bus looked just as bad; I sat down beside her, held him tightly.

“I thought they were killed.”

He looked up. “We couldn’t get out the back side because the door was stuck, so we came through the office, Robert busted what little glass was even left. I didn’t want to move her but I could smell the gas.”

Emily wasn’t moving and I could see the shiny redness on her face, his shirt was obvious there to stabilize her neck. Max left her side when the police arrived; he went to get a paramedic for her. I remained beside her, holding her hand and squeezing it to let her know I was here.

“Emily I don’t know if you can hear me, but baby I can’t do this without you. I need you to be ok; Alexander and I need you to be fine. I really don’t want to face your brothers and tell them you died because of me. I don’t want to call them and tell them you’re paralyzed or worse. If you can hear me, then you need to come back to us.”

“Mama.” Alexander said.

Dear god if she didn’t make it what was I going to do? She was the rock in this relationship and how the hell could I protect Alexander without her? How could I raise him without her? I could see the paramedics coming toward us talking to Max. I held her hand and saw the blue butterfly that landed on her forehead and I felt hands on my shoulders and assumed it was Velma but when I turned around no one was there. The butterfly had a calming effect, like I could feel it.

I did move away so the paramedics could get to her and I felt a hand and this time it was Velma.

“Is she ok?”

“I honestly don’t know Velma, are you ok? Is Shannon?”

“We’re fine I mean we’re obviously going to the hospital to be checked but just scared. The bus blew up like moments after Robert pulled us out.”

“Definitely see a doctor, I think everyone will.”

“Is he ok? He’s got blood on his clothes.”

“Uh, probably Robert or Max’s, I noticed they were both bleeding and Emily was too. I’ll make sure he gets a good check over there.”

When they loaded her into the ambulance I went with them, she was my wife after all. They were satisfied with her blood pressure and heart rates, the head wound was the problem, and in the light of the ambulance it looked a lot worse. Once at the hospital they took her back and I asked for someone to check Alexander and myself out. He didn’t like being checked, but aside from a few scratches on his legs, he was fine just scared. I added to my existing bruises apparently and aside from a mild cut on my forehead and just soreness I would be fine.  I found Emily’s ER room and sat down, waited for her to wake up. Watched as they wheeled her in and out for x-rays and cat scans.

Taylor found me about 11:30 and had a bag in his hand from Wal-Mart.

“I sent Maddi to the store with my card told her that you needed things for Alexander. She got you diapers and clothes, jars of baby foods which he may not eat.”

“He might, thank you I was actually wondering what I was going to do.”

“Where is Emily?”

“Cat scan, second one the first one wasn’t readable.”

“Do you need us to take him for a bit? Ike and I are fine.”

“He won’t go Taylor; he’s just clinging and holding.”

He nodded and after a few minutes he walked out, I went ahead and got Alexander changed and in clean clothes, he allowed that much and god bless Maddi, she’d gotten him some juice and a sippy cup which he was fine with for the moment. They brought her back at noon and seemed a little happier if that was possible.

“Can you tell me anything?”

He looked at me. “She doesn’t have anything broken, miracle that she doesn’t. We’re more worried about swelling on the brain because it seemed like she took a really hard hit, but so far nothing.”

“Why isn’t she awake?”

“We’re not sure really, but our best guess is that it’s her bodies way of making sure things are fine. We won’t know of any real damage until she wakes up. All signs say she is Ok.”

I nodded, Alexander was still clinging.

“We’re going to move her to a room, the attending nurse noticed redness around the nipple area, is she still breastfeeding your son?”

“Yeah, but…well…we had stored milk on our tour bus and I am pretty sure none of that is useable now. I am sure he’ll be fine.”

“I can call the nursery and see if it’s safe for us to use a pump if needed, although, I would much rather not until she’s at least awake.”

“We never used any formula so I have no idea…”

I felt helpless, I knew Alexander needed something and I just had no idea. When the doctor left I walked to the lobby, most of the crew members had been treated and released but I needed Maddi, she was the only other person I knew that would have any idea.

Max was holding Riley and Maddi got up and hugged us both. “Is Emily ok?”

“There saying she is, there moving her to a room in just a few minutes but I have a question Maddi.”

I pulled her away from everyone else.

“She’s not awake and everything she had stored for Alexander was on the bus, destroyed probably by the explosion or the fire department. I have no idea what to do, what can I do? He’s not fussy but he is watching her.”

“I got you a bottle but I didn’t know. I’ve got some saved for Riley; he should be ok with that.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Is that safe?”

She smiled. “I can promise that I don’t have anything, it’s not uncommon Zac really.” She motioned Max over and he shuffled over. Great, now I would feel weird.

“Max, would it be safe if I gave Zac a few sealed packages of milk for Alexander? Emily’s not awake still and he has to eat too, even if Mom’s not available. There supply was on the bus and mine is in that little portable fridge you made me buy.”

“Yes, it would be. I know your medical history and you don’t have anything that would hurt him. I wouldn’t recommend letting him latch to you, but a bottle of the milk should be fine. We have had it in Maysville a few times where another person nursed the baby for various reasons. The hospital would provide a pump for Emily though.”

“Yeah, but the doctor doesn’t recommend it.”

“It’s really your choice Zac. You could risk formula the hospital should have a lot here but he may not agree with it and the last thing little man needs is to be sick as hell from formula.”

He was getting whiney and I couldn’t deny him milk because there was no guarantee he would eat the food they bought.

“You’re sure it’s safe?” I asked.

“Yes. Emily and I talked about donating milk a few times but with her busy schedule she just couldn’t research it properly. But, I’m sure she won’t mind Zac, she’ll understand that you are looking out for Alexander.”

“Ok.”

I could only help that Emily wouldn’t kill me afterwards. Maddi ran outside and I looked at Max.

“It’s really ok Zac. You’d only have to worry if Maddi had something, but she doesn’t. They ran a billion tests on her when she came home in February and everything was negative. It should be fine.”

She returned with a smaller cooler and handed it to me. “I had it frozen before I left, most still is. Same way you normally would.”

“I’m sorry I screamed at you.”

She smiled at me and hugged me again. “I understand Zac; you thought they were both dead. I’d have screamed too.”

I returned to the ER room just in time and followed them to a room.

“Did you cover the food aspect?” He asked.

“Yeah, a friend of ours also breastfeeds her daughter, she provided some. Hopefully she’s awake before it becomes much more of an issue.”

“She should be.”

Once they had her settled I sat Alexander down and fixed a bottle, warming the milk like she normally did. I changed him again and he ate the bananas from the jar, I was kind of shocked but then again he hadn’t eaten since 4, Robert said she was feeding him then. He took the bottle with ease and while it seemed liked he knew he didn’t reject the bottle. I held him close to me and he held his own bottle until the tiredness took over and then I held it, once he was asleep I carefully laid him beside her, maybe having him close to her would get her to wake up.

Isaac and Taylor came back at 3 to let me know that they were putting everyone in a hotel across the street and that Maddi and Max were going to stay a few extra days so they could help if they could. Right now she had taken several to the local stores for clothes and needed items. Most everyone had their wallets on them but some didn’t so Taylor and Isaac covered them. They sat a bag down on the chair.

“Clothes for you and Emily when she can, we also got some toys for Alexander. Where is he?”

I pointed beside her. “He’s been curled up beside her since 1:30.”

“You look tired Zac.” Isaac said.

“I’m getting use to pulling 24 hour days, but someone has to watch him.”

“Do you want one of us to stay for a bit so you can nap?”

“Actually, I would like something to eat, I really don’t care what.”

“Done.” Ike said. He left the room and Taylor sat down.

“Have they told you anything?”

“Nope, they just keep checking. I don’t understand it Taylor, she should be awake.”

“She’ll wake up Zac. Isaac has his phone and he contacted her brother’s and our parents. Aaron and Zander are on their way now and just because I knew you were worried. Zander also said letting him have Maddi’s milk was fine. They should be here soon.”

“How pissed are they?”

He looked at me. “I didn’t tell them about Ian, I just told them our bus wrecked and what I knew about her. I didn’t say anything else because I assumed they don’t know.”

“They’re going to kill me.”

“No they’re not.”

He stayed with me until Isaac came back and with them both there, I did try to nap. It was hard to shut my brain down not knowing if she would wake up. Yet, I finally drifted off and Taylor woke me up around 7:45 because they were headed out, evidently Alexander had already had his dinner as they got something from the cafeteria and I had a plate waiting. Yet, Emily was still out. By 8:15 they were gone and the doctor came in and did vital checks again.

“Blood work came back fine, we did another cat scan at 5 and the results are in. There is no change so we are comfortable saying there is no swelling on the brain. She’s not in a coma or anything, it is possible just a bad bump to the head. If she doesn’t wake up during the night sometime then we will do more tests.”

“Ok.” I said.

“Again, we saw no broken ribs or anything that would indicate internal bleeding, which both are very good considering the type of accident. If you are ok using the pump and feel she won’t mind then I can clear her for a pump because your son still depends on her for his survival. I’ve request a crib for him and a cot for you; I imagine you’re not leaving.”

“No. I’m here.”

He smiled and left the room, sure enough they brought in a crib for him and a cot for me. I laid him down around his normal time and then sat and watched him sleep. What if she didn’t wake up? What if she did get worse?