Forbidden Love - Segment 25

[itztigress3]

Segment 25 – End of the Line
POV: Emily / Zac
Word Count: 2519
Warnings: None

October 26, 2007: Friday
-Emily-

   We were almost to the next venue. I was sitting in the front of the bus currently. Zac was still sitting down easily and I could tell that it still hurt days later, but it had improved nothing. It was almost like I was invisible now; he wasn’t horny or needed anything. He’d actually talked to Kate every day for at least two hours, most the time it was three or more. Apparently, she wanted to remodel some and they were talking about that a lot. He was currently talking to her and had been for two hours. All I really heard was Craig’s voice in my head, telling me to stop, telling me I would be the one to be in pain. Telling me all he wanted was the sex. I had been going to bed at nine and staying in my bunk reading most of the day. I glanced up when he mentioned the spare room and finally got my phone and sent the tour manager a text message.

I know this is an odd request, but is there any way you and I can change busses?

Why? Is there a problem?

It is very complicated and personal.  I would much rather not explain. However, I can say that there is a problem and I just feel like I need to be off this bus. It might be better for them and me in the long run.

I have no problem with it; I get along with them quite well. However, Zac mentioned you’ve been on the bottom bunk; there is not one available on this bus.

I should be fine with whatever bunk, as long as it’s not the top. I haven’t rolled out in a long time now.

Sure. When do you want to change?

The next stop preferably, when there doing the sound check we can swap. Really, it doesn’t have to be everything, just what we need on the bus. I do not mind leaving the rest stored here on this one.

Sounds like a plan. You are not quitting though, right?

No. I would not do that to you or Hanson. Thank you. I appreciate it.

No problem. I hope you are able to resolve the problems though.

 I laid my phone down and looked at Zac; he was smiling as he discussed adding an outdoor space to their home, a nice patio with an outdoor kitchen and maybe even a pool. He seemed so happy, so content and then Craig’s words were filling my head, telling me was never getting a divorce. I felt the tears building up in my eyes and I got up and went to my bunk, I could not cry in front of them. I lay down and stared at the ceiling less than a foot away. I had been laying there about twenty minutes when I heard someone lay down outside, was a little shocked when it was Isaac who pulled the cover back some.

 “Mr. Bowman just texted me to ask if you were ok.” He said.

I didn’t look at him. “I’m fine.”

“He also said you wanted to switch busses, are you seriously going to do that?”

“Yes. It’s actually better, what if someone pictures me coming off behind him or getting on after him. It’s just better.”

“You haven’t worried about that before Emily. Will you at least talk to me?”

I turned my head and the tears that had collected rolled down my cheeks.

“I’m not quitting. I just need to be off the bus.”

He nodded and closed the curtain. I did not get up until the bus had stopped and they were all off. I then got up, washed my face off in the bathroom. I spent several hours unpacking and setting up the front end, they planned the walk at four and instead of going with them I packed up the few things I had on the bus, cleaned out a bunk for Mr. Bowman because he would not want to sleep below Zac. When they started their sound check he came outside and we switched our things. The second bus was exactly the same but with six instead of four people. Mr. Bowman was the front middle bunk on the right side, which was fine with me. I put my things there and put my bag up and then went back inside. During the show I stayed at the table, even though it was slow enough. I went outside for his solo, because I just couldn’t hear it.

 When the show ended I helped them re-pack everything and I submitted the order for the next show. They had catering for this venue so I got dinner while they finished up packing the instruments and other items; I hadn’t eaten much all day anyway. I ate there alone and then went outside to get on the bus, going to the wrong one first. I paused at the door before I turned toward the second bus. I was half way there when someone grabbed my arm, I turned around to a guy with black short hair and it took me several moments to realize it was Zac.

“What are you doing?”

“Where are you going?” He asked.

I yanked my arm away from him. He could disguise himself here? Now? But not four days ago? That just pissed me off.

“I am going to get on the bus, so I can go to bed.”

“Our bus is this way.”

Apparently no one told him. “No, Zachary, not anymore. I switched with Mr. Bowman while you did sound check today.”

“Why?”

I looked around and seen the parking lot was fairly empty for it to be so close to the end of the show, I then looked back at him.

“Why? You really have to ask me that question? You really want to know why?”

“Yes Emily, I do.”

“Ok…How about this...Yes Kate, I agree that a change to our bedroom is required. Buy the new sheets you want, buy the comforter. The guest room? No, the guest room is ok.  I love you Kate, I can’t wait to see you.”

He started to shake his head to deny it he’d said it or meant it.

“Don’t. I have sat there this whole fucking tour, and especially this week, and listened to you make plans for your home with her. The nice outdoor kitchen, pools and water features, and late Wednesday night when you thought we were all asleep you mentioned a nursery would go good in the room you currently sleep in, even though you said the guest room.”

 “Emily…. That is…” I stopped him.

“I can’t do it anymore Zachary. I cannot pretend that you’re not married, that when we get home things will change. You don’t even want to be seen with me. You will put a wig on to find me, put one on now so you can question me, but you won’t do that so we can leave a hotel room for two hours. All you really wanted was someone to fuck when you wanted. I am so stupid! I was so stupid for even saying yes, for giving in.”

I had to pause. “Emily..please…”

“No. I was stupid to believe that you could ever love me. I KNOW you heard me Zachary! But, not once did you ever tell me you cared. I laid on that fucking bus all fucking week reliving everything you’ve said to me and not once have you ever said you so much as cared about me, not one single time. All you do is come to me when you’re horny. I cannot keep doing that. I am done. If you get horny tomorrow then call your wife, if she’s just too busy with your best friend when you can find someone else to be your private whore.”

“That’s not…Please Emily just…” I held up my hand.

“Don’t say it!” I screamed.

Everyone that was in the parking lot turned and looked at us, but they wouldn’t know who he was, because he could disguise himself now. He was just standing there stunned, looking at me like I was some kind of alien.

 “Emily.”

“No. I am done. You can go make plans with Kate now, all the freedom you need to talk about whatever you want. I love you,
Zachary. I really do, but it’s painfully obvious that you do not love me and that Craig and Amanda were right all along. It’ll be a victory for them to hear how they were right.”

I turned away from him and walked away, went and got on the other bus. I ignored the faces that were staring at me and went straight to my bunk and crawled in. I closed the curtain, locked it, and finally let go. Who cared if anyone on this bus slept? I really wanted to go home. I really wanted my brothers but I knew calling them would end badly. So, instead I buried my face in the pillow and let the pain take over.

-Zac-

  I just stood there in the parking lot, watched her walk away from me. What had I done? I have no idea how long I really stood there, but it was Taylor’s blue eyes staring back at me when I realized we needed to leave. He had a brown shaggy wig on, but he led me back to the bus. Mr. Bowman was sitting by the door and moments later we were leaving.

 Taylor led me to the rear of the bus and when he sat me down, pain exploded across my entire ass but he didn’t know about those marks. When the pain faded some my mind reeled back to that morning, she had been so loving and happy until I declined to take her anywhere. It was sudden and god she had hit me much harder when she got back, I did not want to tell her to stop, that it was too much. I was just trying to show her I did love her, but evidently that’s not what she saw. All I could see now was the tears streaming down her face as she walked away from me.

I felt Isaac gently tapping the side of my face and looked up at him.

“What was that about?”

“She left….” I whispered.

“No shit, everyone in the parking lot heard her Zac.”

I looked between them and I felt so small and helpless. She was going to walk away from me again, she was going to leave and not come back. I felt like pieces of me were being torn apart and I had never felt this way, not even when I caught Kate with Gary. The pain in my chest was evident and it hurt like hell, two hours later now I still felt it.

There was a knock and Mr. Bowman came to the door, we all looked up at him.

“Darius just sent me a message.” He said.

“Did we forget something or what did he want?” Isaac asked.

He looked at me and then back to them. “Actually, he wanted me to ask the three of you if there was anything he could give Emily to make her go to sleep.”

“What?! Why the hell would he need to do that?” I shrieked.

Taylor and Isaac both looked at me, both shook their head and I sat back.

“She had some problems the first few weeks, she took an over the counter medication. She had some this week; I saw them in her bag.” Taylor said.

“Why would they want to put her to sleep?” I asked.

Mr. Bowman looked right at me.

“Darius said she’s been crying for two hours and that they would like to calm her down and get her to sleep so they can. I really do not want to know what the hell happened, but if she does not calm down then she will come back here where I assume Zac can listen to her.”

She’d been crying for two hours?! What the fuck had I done to her? It was like someone really slapped me as Layla’s words came crashing down on me. She told me she would want more one day and I couldn’t do that, told me all I would do was hurt her. I had promised myself that I would not do that and I had.

Isaac looked at him. “Tell Darius that if he tells her that Taylor or I said it was OK she may take something or she may calm down. He should not mention Zac for any reason as that will probably make it worse. He needs to not tell anyone else on the bus it needs to stay between him and us.” Isaac said.

“Gotcha.” He said.

He walked out and closed the door. When I looked up they were both staring at me and I could have sworn if looks killed, I would have died twice. I felt the daggers.

 “We are all tired and I understand that. But, you better start explaining.” Taylor said.

“She’s been depressed all week and crying on and off all week. That means that either you told her something that meant you were using her or something clicked in her head to where she finally realized you were just using her.” Isaac said.

I could not do this right now, I just couldn’t. I got up and walked out, all I wanted was Emily. I wanted to tell her everything was ok. I went to my bunk and closed the curtain, tried to fight the tears in my own eyes. The nagging stinging pain from the marks she’d left reminded me that she had been angry, but her reaction after was different as well because while she had jacked me off, it was rough and quick.

 God was I so stupid to recognize that what she needed from me was not for me to blindly take the twenty hits, what she wanted was for me to tell her I cared about her, to tell her I loved her. The idea that all I wanted was sex was already there and while she’d sent off all the warnings I had ignored them all like an idiot.

I knew that come tomorrow I would have to explain myself to Isaac and Taylor, they were not going to let that blow up go unnoticed and that meant telling them about Kate and Gary, where I’ve been sleeping. But, right this moment all I wanted was for the pain to stop. I wanted to not feel like my heart was being torn out of my chest. But, she wasn’t gone yet, was she?

We stop at 8 am; will you please talk to me?

 I stared at the phone for thirty minutes, praying she would say yes. But she never replied so either she was asleep or she was ignoring me, either way I would not know until eight am.