Devastation (Petal 2) Chapter 21 - Apologies

[itztigress3]

Chapter 21: Apologies

POV:  Gabby

Word Count:  2901

June 10, 2008

Zac had stayed with me since he brought me home, but he couldn’t keep putting off work so I told him I’d be fine and I’d be here when he got home. He had pulled out all the stops for the last few days, breakfast in bed, little notes everywhere saying something sweet and nice, he was always willing to listen to me even half asleep he’d get up. I totally didn’t mind the several times he pulled the slow love making angle, that was so different from anything else I’d felt with anyone.

He made feel accepted and loved and those were totally new feelings. Ones that frankly scared me and made me feel happy at the same time. It was a strange combination. Yet, having the apartment to myself was nice too. I spent most of the morning just cleaning up, he wasn’t a slob or anything, but I kind of enjoyed this. Made me feel like I helped somehow and it was just numbing enough to help. About noon I decided a hot bath was needed so I drew one and got in, of course that meant he had to call.

“Checking in, everything okay?”

“It is. Laundry is drying, beds made up, everything’s cleaned. I actually just got in the tub.”

“Seriously? Like I needed that visual.”

“You must be sitting at your desk too.”

“Great, now two visuals? You are so mean to me! Why must you give me these visuals when I am working?!?!?”

“Because that’s my given job as your wife.”

He paused for several minutes. “I have no comeback for that. So, I’ll accept that reason.”

I giggled. “Beyond that I’m fine. Stella sent out a few tweets early this morning, you or someone there blew my notifications up though.”

“That would be me.”

“Figured it was. How is the projects coming along?”

“They’re coming along great. We’re mostly editing the book now, which considering my spelling abilities are shitty there is a lot of editing to do.”

“They are not shitty, just you don’t always put the right letter in the right place.”

“I appreciate the thought. I was calling to say we should be out of here before dinner and that Taylor is joining us for dinner as Stella is working late.”

“Not a problem, I was thinking of chicken and dumplings anyway. I’ll over make either way.”

“Sounds like a plan. Okay, Ike is yelling my name, so I’ll see you tonight. Love you.”

“Love you.”

I hung-up and totally couldn’t resist the snapping a picture, it took some maneuvering to get sideways and get a good shot of my upper thigh and legs, surrounded by bubbles and water and then sent it to Zac. I didn’t have to wait long before he replied with a shocked smiley and telling me how bad I was. I replied with a wide grin. Then laid the phone down behind me and sank in the bubbles.

It was easier to relax now that my phone wasn’t notifying me every ten minutes about another negative comment from some fan who didn’t even know me. I hadn’t really added anyone to any of the accounts because I couldn’t quite trust the ones that seemed okay, it wasn’t being a bitch it was just being cautious. I gave props to the moderators on the website, apparently one nasty message from him was enough. The next thread that was posted was promptly deleted, when the third was posted a post was made by one reiterating the rules.

I heard Sierra’s ringtone go off but didn’t even move, she could ask Zac all she wanted, I didn’t want to talk to her. What did I have to say to her? She’d made it clear on tour that she didn’t want anything to do with me anymore. She thought I lived in some fairytale world where everything was fine, not once had she bothered to ask me what the issue was. Just insisted I stand up and be someone I’m not. I heard the message go off and that I checked.

For fucks sake, answer the phone! I know you have it beside you. I know it’s right there with you.

I just laid it back behind me and sunk back down. She wasn’t the only one as I hadn’t answered any of Max’s either. I didn’t have anything to say to either of them, so there was no point in picking up. When I was pretty sure I was a prune I got out and got dried off. I put on the overalls that  Abby had gotten me last year and a white shirt. I then started the chicken boiling and straightened up the living room, before settling for a video game.

About three the phone beeped and I picked it up. It was an unknown number, so it wasn’t Simon or anyone in the phone. I opened the messages and blinked.

You shouldn’t believe that we forgot about you Gabriella. Just because you’re not fetching our drinks or being so willing to give a show doesn’t mean we forgot you.

Who is this?

Logic told me it couldn’t be very many people, I didn’t fetch drinks or gives shows to anyone before Simon.

Damien, your favorite band member.

You were not my favorite…Why are you contacting me? I’m not coming back to Simon, so if he put you up to this you’re wasting your time.

Aw…I am sure I am your favorite. You were quite fond of looking at me…Do you remember that?

I took a deep breath, sure I remembered those times and I also could recognize that what he wanted from me was an admittance of being scared or afraid of them. Okay, so maybe that girl Sierra knew had a time and a place.

What I remember is you sitting back and doing nothing as he raped me, standing back as he hit me. I remember you laughing and jeering and cheering him on. Favorite? No. You were far from being anywhere near a like, let alone a favorite. My suggestion would be to forget this number, I’m not above filing charges for harassment, pretty sure my husband isn’t either.

Husband? Please, we all know that’s a publicity stunt. Even Simon knows that’s not real. A few messages can’t be classified as harassment Gabriella.

I laid the phone down, there would be no use in replying and if I stopped and he kept on it was harassment. He didn’t send anything else though, so maybe he was just being a dick. Once the chicken was done I set it out to cool and then went back to playing for a bit, before I finished dinner. Zac texted when he was almost here and several minutes later he came in followed by both Isaac and Taylor.

“Double trouble? Glad I made a lot.”

“Sorry, I heard chicken and dumplings and well, I just invited myself.” Ike said.

“Not a problem. I tend to make way too much and this way we won’t be eating them for four days.”

“She acts like I mind that…I’m going to change guys, I’ll be back.”

He vanished off into the bedroom and left me there with Taylor and Isaac.

“It’s almost done, I just dropped the dumplings actually.”

“Not a problem. Nothing at home for me but four walls.” Taylor said.

“Same here.” Ike said.

I took the silver bowl the dumplings were made in and began to wash it.

“We actually kind of wanted to talk to you also.” Taylor said.

“Here I thought my food was that good.”

“It is! Smells amazing. But, we did want to talk to you also.”

“I’m here, talk.”

They actually waited until the bowl was clean and I was looking at them before either made an attempt to speak.

“I’m sorry about how I acted and sounded in Allentown. I did hear them but I didn’t hear everything they said to you, Zac kind of pointed me to the video. That lead to others and you were right, we should have done something to prevent or at least try to stop it. I didn’t have any right to yell at you for standing up for yourself.”

“You do know you apologized for that already, right?”

“Yes, but it was very clear you didn’t believe me. I didn’t understand everything that was going on with you concerning everything. I am for real here Gabriella. I am sorry and I wish I had known what was happening because I wouldn’t have been upset at you.”

“To boot we don’t hate you, we don’t believe the fans versions of why you two are married. We don’t believe you are here for the money or that you somehow tricked him into the marriage. We know that if Zac didn’t want to be married, he would have already filed. It’s unconventional but you two seem to be a compliment to each other.”

“Guys, it really wasn’t either of you. It was all me.”

“But we want to make sure you know that we do care about you. Not just as someone whose here, but as our sister. Because that is what you are. You are our sister.” Ike said.

“The best sister we have really, not just because you are the only one at the moment, but because you have done what no one else could, you took the hyper as fuck brother and calmed his ass down.”

I had to laugh. “Calmed him down? Since when is he calm?”

“Well, he’s not being stupid anymore and you are the reason why. We just want to make sure you know that we care about you and we love you.”

“Have they brought you to tears yet with the sappiness?” Zac asked.

“Only you do that. I understand Taylor and Isaac, it wasn’t anything specific you did, it was just me and needing to work through things. It had nothing to do with anything you’ve done.”

I moved to the stove to check the dumplings and then turned them off. They needed to cool a few minutes before trying to eat them.

“So, did you get progress made?”

“We did, got a whole chapter edited and done.” Ike said.

“A whole one chapter? Do I need to come down with my whip?”

“We’re going slow to make sure we catch stuff and that it’s worded right.” Taylor said.

“So…Taylor…as the only odd member not engaged or married, when can we expect that proposal?”

His cheeks flushed this pretty shade of red, made me want to draw him and that was weird for me.

“Well, I was kind of looking at rings while he was here with you. I think I found the right one though, I think it fits. I have a few actually, I’m just trying to decide which one is the right one.”

“The one that feels right is the right one.” Zac said.

“Is that how you found ours?” I asked.

“Maybe.”

“Maybe? What does that mean?”

“I had the ring you have on picked out as a Christmas present but it did feel right and I love mine. So, it’s what I went with. They felt right.”

“Good save.” Taylor said.

He came around and kissed my cheek. “Wasn’t a save Taylor. Was the truth.”

He got bowls and dished out dinner and we sat down in the living room, since we had no formal table. It must have been good since all three went back for seconds and nothing was left in the bowls. I took the bowls to the kitchen then sat back down with them.

“We done a little moderator clean up too.” Ike said.

“Why?”

“Zac told us about the thread he deleted, we’ve randomly checked at different times and we’ve found posts that were left for hours. A moderator was online at the time and had seen the messages, but they didn’t remove them. So, we cleaned up a bit there and removed some privileges. It wasn’t just you either, it was Stella and Nicole along with posted directed at a specific fan.” Ike said.,

“Perhaps that is a good thing.”

“Yeah, we’re hoping that if we enforce the rules there then it will send a message. There isn’t much we can do legally or anything via Twitter or social media though.” Taylor said.

“It’s okay, I created new accounts and privatized them all, so no one can really harass me anymore. I still have the old ones but I don’t check them really.”

“I would delete it actually, maybe they’ll know you aren’t playing either.”

I giggled. “I could just have Abby tweet about that poor girl I beat up, but I think with them being away it’ll be better.”

Zac giggled. “You may scare off the ones that do like you if you tweet about her.”

Taylor and Isaac smiled. “Maybe, maybe not.”

“So, Ike, no date?”

“Not yet, but Nicole does want to spend some time with you sometime.”

“I’m free all the time.”

“I’ll let her know then, she has crazy hours so I don’t know when she’s really off. I’ll tell her to give you a ring.”

“Works for me.”

For some odd reason I kept coming back to Taylor’s slightly pink cheeks, the way his eyes sparkled. He really would make a good subject for drawing, maybe he’s what I needed to move past those cribs. They stayed for a few more hours, talking about everything from their trip to Africa to their cause and purpose, which was always good to hear outside those speeches. When they left I couldn’t quite ignore the strong need to draw him so I got the tablet and Zac watched amused as I sat at the counter while he cleaned up. I was actually using color and for once it felt nice to draw.

“Seriously? You’re drawing my brother?”

“There was something about the way his face turned that shade of red.”

He finished cleaning and I sat here and drew for a while. My finished product was the imagine of Taylor as he spoke about wedding rings. I looked at for the first real time and was rather pleased with it.

“What do you think? Is it Taylor?”

Zac came over and looked down at the drawing before me and for a few moments he quietly viewed it.

“I think that’s the best one of Taylor I have seen in a long time. You captured his eyes perfectly.”

“That was the plan, does it really look like him?”

He kissed my cheek. “Yes. It does. In fact, I think it would be a good thing to give Stella sometime. Because it shows how nervous he is, how excited, and how much he loves her. You really are perfect at capturing these types of things Gabriella.”

I leaned back against his chest. “Damien sent messages to me today.”

“Damien? Who is this person?”

“Damien is the bass player for Simon’s band.”

“What did he want?”

“He wanted to remind me that they hadn’t forgotten about me, thinks he was my favorite band member. He thinks our marriage is a stunt. He was often there when Simon went on his correcting phases or when I said no and he didn’t care.”

“He did that more than once?”

“Couple times, usually around everyone. It was like he thought to establish himself he had to do that with them around. He didn’t really care if anyone was around. I’ve recognized a few people at venues but they haven’t said anything to me. I assumed it was because I was there with you guys.”

“Maybe. You don’t talk much about them.”

I closed the tablet. “There really isn’t much that I know, like they weren’t like Carrick or Austin who would ask questions or try to even have a conversation. They aren’t like Taylor and Isaac either. Ash barely spoke to me at all, mostly just grunts. He is a quiet guy. Damien was more vocal but he didn’t really ask questions either, he’s the one that told Simon about my past, so he knows more. He assumes that because I was facing him he was the favorite.”

“Wasn’t there a girl with them?”

“Scarlet, yes. Her actual name is Samantha, but that’s not a rocker name. We didn’t talk, she wasn’t like with Sierra and Tera. I think Simon yelled at her because she took me to get the touch up. She didn’t much have anything to do with me after that, she just avoided me.”

“Well, you don’t have to worry about him. If you feel like he could be a threat then you are always welcome to come hang out at the studio with us crazy ones.”

“It was just a few messages, no threats or anything. Although, if he starts doing like Simon then I’ll be joining you crazy ones.”

He nuzzled my neck and put his arms around me. “I’m sure I can find some excuse to get them out of the office.”

“Not for that long. But, sleep is calling my name now.”

“Mine too. Everything’s put up and clean so let’s go visit the sandman.”

We got up and after changing for bed and getting comfortable he was asleep. I laid here a little longer though before drifting off myself.